MONDAY, JUNE 17, 2013

We Hope You Have a Happy Father’s Day, You Worthless Pieces of Crap

Here’s your wake up call. The mothers of your children are not going to take it anymore. You think you can just walk away and never look back?

Well, we’ve got news for you. They told us about you and e-mailed us your pictures. Now everybody will know who you are.

Evans Johnson, East Price Hill, Unemployed Community Organizer: owes $46,000 in child support for his three children ages 18, 15, and 13. Your ex-wife Rose says when she first met you, you promised you’d never be like your father and abandon your kids the way he did. You’re only working until you get caught and then you’ll quit and go back on welfare. You even skipped out on a court date because you’re chicken. It’s really sad what you’ve done to your innocent children.
Robert Thompson, Indian Hill, Attorney: owes $146,000 in child support for his two children ages 14 and 12. Your ex-wife Jan says it’s not right for you to drive around in your new Mercedes and donate all that money to Mean Jean Schmidt’s campaign while you ignore your responsibilities to your children.
Leroy Calhoun, Over-the-Rhine, Pimp: owes $4,837,000 in child support for his 18 children ages 17, 16, 16, 15, 14, 13, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, and six months. Your common law wives Rosetta, Kisha, Schwanda, Leticia, Clitoris, and Urethra all say, “You best be sellin’ that crack and makin’ some jack, if you be wantin’ back in the sack.”
Al Kohlic, Vanilla Hills, KY, Banker: owes $14,000 in child support for his two children ages 3 and 1. Your ex-wife Shirley, 23, says just because you doubt they’re your kids, it’s no reason to send them bad checks all the time.

Bruce Darling, Northside, TV Reporter: owes $23,000 in child support for his two children ages 6 and 3. Your ex-wife Cindy says if you’re having trouble coming up with the money, you should cancel your sex-change operation or ask your homosexual lover for a loan.

Charlie Younger, Anderson Township, Suspended Public School Teacher: owes $46,000 in child support for his three children ages 12, 10, and 7. Your ex-wife Nancy is still not over the humiliation you brought your family when you were arrested for having sex with your students.

Lawrence Flam, Ft. Thomas, Political Consultant: owes $178,000 in child support for his two children ages 14 and 11. Your ex-wife Pam is tired having to choose between buying a gallon of gas or a pack of cigarettes while you entertain your county club friends and spend all her money attending Obama’s fund-raisers.
“Zoom” Lenz, Green Township, TV News Cameraman: owes $49,000 in child support for his two children ages 13 and 7. Your ex-wife Sharon still doesn’t believe the station forced you into having a two-year vile-and-disgusting affair with a slutty bleach-blonde anchorbimbo half your age.
Phil Landers, East Walnut Hills, Investor: owes $87,000 in child support for his two children ages 16 and 5. His ex-wife Marcia is now sorry she ever agreed to adopt them after he got his wife’s sister pregnant twice.

Daniel Diddle, Newport, KY, Sodomy Rites Activist: owes $32,000 in child support for his two children ages 9 and 5. Your ex-wife Lottie still wants to know why you spent their entire life savings protesting Dr. Laura and producing 100% totally gay shows for public access TV.
Kwanzaa Brooks, Forest Park, Illiterate Former NFL Star: owes $11,973,452 in child support for his 13 illegitimate children brought into this world by 13 different women. Although he once earned $11 million-a-year as the Bungals’ third-string running back, he spent it all on crack and blonde whores.
Sid Schlock, Mt. Lookout, Slumlord: has never paid a dime of the $238,000 in back alimony and child support he’s owed ever since the divorce. Plus, his ex-wife Gloria says, just like Al Gore and his tenants, he keeps promising to fix the toilet at her house and the repair man never shows up.
Fletcher Daniels, Erlanger, KY, Used Car Salesman: owes $37,000 in child support for his two children ages 8 and 5. Your ex-wife Sandy says she now knows where you work and plans to be there when they arrest your sorry ass Tuesday morning.
Mike DeWhine, Cedarville, Ohio, Disgraced Former Elected Official (Now Ohio’s Attorney General): In an unsuccessful attempt to help his stuttering son win a seat in Congress, the then Sniveling Senator was only able to raise $1 million for negative advertising against Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen and “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman. Had DeWhine really loved his son, he would’ve raised at least $2 million.

NOTE: Even if pedophile priests are called “Fathers,” and they’re considered deadbeats because of the millions still owed to their victims, they aren’t included because all those children they abused are not their own.

You know, some of this might even be funny, if it weren’t so true.

DEADBEAT DADS HOT LINE

e-mail your names and employment information today.

Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this picture from Bobby Leach of a son any father would be proud of.