Daily Archives: March 13, 2013

Official “Backstabber Voting” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A Whole Lot of Backstabbing Going On

  • LINCOLN REAGAN REGURGITATION: It was Backstabber Central at the Duke Energy Convention Center when all those backstabbing Tea Party Patriots protested the Hamilton County RINO Party’s choice of Ohio’s ObamaCare-Loving Governor Kasich Taylor to be the featured speaker at Monday night’s Lincoln Reagan Day Dinner.

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But just how insufferably lame was the Hamilton County GOP’s Lincoln-Reagan dinner, aside from the governor’s speech? Our Recovering Republican says after numerous complaints about a long and drawn out production last year, the program moved along very quickly. Featured speaker Obama-care-loving Republican Governor John Kasich Taylor even kept his remarks under an hour for once.

With a UC College Republican President saying the prayer and the XU College Republican President and Judge Melba Marsh’s long-lost daughter leading the Pledge of Allegiance, National Anthem singer CatheRINO Smith Mills, late of Chairman Alex’s lap, was one of the older people on the stage for once. The crowd had a decidedly young flavor to it. With tables set up for 450, the crowd was at best 350 and it seemed as if every hungry college student within 50 miles willing to admit to voting for Romney and looking for a free meal was in attendance . The number of people who actually paid for tickets might have exceeded the 30 or so Tea Party Protesters outside.

Unlike past Republican and Conservative in Everything But Dress events, the young ladies were mostly reasonably modest in attire. The Hooker Chic look, common to the women of the Prosecutor’s office and CPAC wasn’t in much supply. The “Young Leaders Whose Only Real Reason For Existence Is To Ignore Those Awful Conservatives at the Blue Chip Young Republicans” cocktail party was a total dud. Perhaps it could have been publicized better. And by “better” we mean “to begin with.” But no worries. @ChairmanAlex made the biggest and most important statement of the night: the event’s Twitter hashtag was #LR2013. Awesome.

With very few of the Eisenhower Campaign Alumni Association making the trip downtown anymore, the hurry-up nature of the event was a puzzle. What else do those graybeards have to do? Was Alex rushing through so he could go home to the Missus? Was there an important Reds Spring Training game on? Is he planning on being up early tomorrow for the Papal Conclave?

Lee Czerwonka of the Blue Ash RINO Council was, for some reason, awarded as the Republican Elected Oaf of the Year. Even Loose-Lip Lee was off the podium before you could say “Lee Czerwonka.” It took Sycamoron resident Bob Saul longer to walk to the podium to collect his Volunteer of the Year award than he did to thank the Academy. Despite the youthful facade, in the end, the old white guys carried the day. This is how the GOP rolls, as the kids like to say.

The night did in fact roll very smoothly with nary a hitch. No one could figure out why it was going so quickly….until the Grand Finale when each of Semper Si’s three daughters had to recap their dad’s 40 years of bullying the public, the two movies made about his repressive moral crusades, and calling for higher taxes for his Memorial Hoosegow. Suddenly, our Fearless Correspondent realized the true reason the program moved so quickly: it was past Septuagenarian Simon’s bedtime!

But of course it was the mere presence of John Husted’s Southern Ohio Regional Liaison, former Colerain Township Trustee Keith “I Am The Greatest Republican Who Ever Lived” Corman that made the event such a wonderful experience. Even though it was Kasich who was speaking, it was all Husted all the time with the campaign literature and expensively printed dissertations on all the wonderful things Husted has said and done which were all over the event.

All the other statewides knew better than to litter the event with their campaign crap and upstage the Governor, RINO though he may be. Husted believes it’s all about him, and he has a Southern Ohio representative who thinks it’s all about him, too. Does everyone remember when a certain Fishwrap commenter and Whistleblower correspondent named “ColerainFirst” used to trash Kasich and relentlessly promote Jon Husted? Wasn’t it “ColerainFirst” who coined the term “VaKasich” to describe the Kasich campaign as a working vacation for trust-funded staffers? Looks like all those not-so-anonymous smears paid off for Keith.


  • image009SENILITY IN THE SENATE: Did our RINOs in the Senate even bother to check the background of Obama’s new Secretary of State before they voted to approve him?
  • WALL STREET TWEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says the Stock Market is doing pretty well these days. But what about the 7 million Americans who lost their jobs since the equity index last visited the 14,000 level? Or the 20 million additional Americans who are on food stamps since October 2009?
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1781 William Hershel discovered Uranus, but it’s obvious Obama still can’t get his head out of his ass.
  • NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Jay Leno’s “Liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25-to-life would be appropriate.”
  • DRUDGE’S GRUDGES: Some of the top stories on yesterday’s Drudge Report include White House staffers raking in big paychecks despite budget cuts, the Government advertising for nearly 2,600 new jobs since Sequestration took effect, and the Feds spending $1.5 million to study why “Lesbians Are Fat.”
  • BUDGET BATTLES: Tuesday morning, House Budget Chairman Paul Ryan unveiled his sensible GOP budget blueprint. The plan cuts $4.6 trillion over the next decade, bringing the budget into balance by 2023. The principal savings in the plan would come from a repeal of ObamaCare. On the other hand, Senate DemocRATS’ first budget plan in four years would not even think about balancing the budget, but would raise taxes by nearly $1 trillion while promising to think about cutting spending by the same amount over the next decade. Could the two sides be any further apart?
  • image010SPRING SCORECARD: Catholic Correspondent Eucharist Tadwell says the Cardinals have begun their meeting to pick a new pope in Rome. Meanwhile, Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall (who is probably not Catholic) says the Reds are 4-11 at Spring Training in Arizona.
  • COURTHOUSE COVER-UP: Republicans for Higher Taxes have, for once, backed The Blower on something. They are asking Tracy Winkler where she is hiding the missing Mickey Esposito files.
  • INCIVILITY AT UC: The third occurrence of the “Beyond Civility Side-by-Side Series” took place Tuesday night at the University of Cincinnati featuring former Ohio Republican Secretary of State Buckwheat Blackwell and former Disgraced DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor Jerry Springer. While he’s on campus, do you think Springer will be interviewing some of the skanks who posed for those vile-and-disgusting Vagina Photos for his equally vile-and-disgusting TV Show?
  • untitledIN OHIO: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Republican Franklin County Auditor Clarence Mingo (looking like a young Ken Blackwell) A will speak Saturday, March 16, 2013 at the 40th annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C. Each year, CPAC brings together nearly 10,000 attendees along with leading conservative organizations and speakers.
  • SIZE MATTERS: Down at The Fishwrap, Publisher Skaggie Maggie says, “After more than 170 years, thousands of conversations with readers and advertisers and years of planning, we’re excited to introduce your new Enquirer on Monday.” Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says, “You mean it took one hundred and seventy years to shrink the Enquirer down to the size of a roll of Charmin?”
  • image012MORE DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD: Cincinnati poll worker Melowese Richardson is getting to be so famous across the country for her eight counts of DemocRAT Voter Fraud, is Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka now considering making her the local party spokesperson?
  • image013THREE SIGNATURES ALREADY? Cincinnati’s Parking Plan Protesters are circulating petitions so opponents of high parking rates can show how serious they are at Friday’s scheduled “Ides of March” hearing where City Solicitor John Curp will try to convince Hamilton County Judge Robert Winkler to vacate his Temporary Restraining Order preventing the city from entering into that hideous contract to piss away the city’s parking receipts for the next 50 years and totally screw over every remaining downtown business that needs customers. Meanwhile, Loony Libertarian Mayor Candidate Jim Berns says each time he gets somebody to sign his parking petition, he’ll be sending out another press release.
  • WALL STREET TWEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says the Stock Market is doing pretty well these days. But what about the 7 million Americans who lost their jobs since the equity index last visited the 14,000 level? Or the 20 million additional Americans who are on food stamps since October 2009?
  • image015IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: 22 years ago this week in The Whistleblower, Ken CamBoo was but a lowly columnist and the legendary J. R. Hatfield was our Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief. Back then, in “Bluegrass Holler,” Ken CamBoo reported that part-time attorney, part-time radio trash talk show host, but full-time know-it-all Bill Cunningham and somebody with money had purchased the dismally failing Glass Menagerie Restaurant in Covington, which would re-open as Willie’s Hepatitis-Free Sports Café.

The CamBoozler also says last year this week Federal help for some counties in Kentucky was on the way after tornadoes caused millions of dollars in damage across the commonwealth, while FEMA was telling Clermont County on the North Shore it would have to go it alone. Did that mean Kentucky’s DemocRAT governor was more persuasive than Ohio’s Republican governor? Maybe the Ohio Republicans in Congress were just asleep at the switch?

  • STANDING BY THEIR RAND: Meanwhile, Real Republicans in Northern Kentucky are wondering if Senator Rand Paul will now become the new national spokesman for the Republican Party, and comments Ashley Judd made in 2010 comparing the mining practices of Kentucky’s coal industry to rape could sink her much buzzed-about Senate candidacy before it even begins.
  • BLUEGRASS BACKSTABBERS: Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders says unfortunately, political backstabbing isn’t even a misdemeanor. “It’s a good thing,” said Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl. “Our place wouldn’t be big enough to hold them all.”
  • FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about all those Backstabber nominations The Blower’s been receiving, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “God must really like Backstabbers, because he made so many of them.”

BACKSTABBER BALLOTS HOT LINE

e-mail your nastiest nominations today. 

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Some backstabbing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally backstabbing subscribers, but we could always use more.


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