Daily Archives: December 25, 2012

Special “Holiday Humbuggery” E-dition

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

  • image004That Mayan calendar wasn’t correct and the world didn’t really come to an end on December 21, so America is still scheduled to go over the Fiscal Cliff in six more days when that $494 billion tax increase wallops the economy on January 1, 2013. —Taxmageddon Countdowners
  • All we want for Christmas is more “Free Stuff.” All those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama supporters who will wind up with a nice tax increase on January 1, along with the rest of us during the Dark Ages in the Divided States of America during Obama’s Second Term
  • Just because I keep caving in to Obama and the DemocRATS doesn’t mean I should be replaced as Republican Speaker of the House. —John Boehner
  • It’s a good thing George Washington didn’t wimp out when it came to crossing the Delaware in an ice storm on Christmas night in 1776. —Hurley the Historian
  • Conservatism, in my humble opinion, did not lose the 2012 Election. People are not going to vote against Santa Claus, especially if the alternative is being your own Santa Claus. —Rush Limbaugh
  • image007Please don’t criticize the president’s $4 Million over-taxed payer funded (with borrowed money) family holiday vacation in Hawaii. Just think of it as a mini Stimulus Program. —White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
  • Fortunately because of my concussion I have no memory of Benghazi. —Hillary
  • Mentally ill people don’t kill people. Mentally ill people with guns kill people. —Gun Control Fanatics
  • Tax the bullets! —Disarmed DemocRATS in Congress
  • I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! —Ralphie Parker
  • image010This Christmas after the Sandy Nook School shootings, we’re asking Ralphie to be our spokesman. —National Rifle Association
  • That’s why we chose Stan Freberg’s, “Say, mothers…as sure as there’s an X in Christmas, you can be certain those are Tiny Tim Chestnuts!” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • Can you believe the Bungals are actually in the playoffs this again year? —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
  • image012MillionaireMike Brown always has his finger on what’s good for the fans. —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception
  • All those staffers in my Ohio Second District Congressional offices in Washington, Cincinnati, Portsmouth, and Peebles were standing in line for free holiday dinners at the Freebee Store this Christmas, but don’t worry about me. Over-taxed payers will be paying my pension and health benefits forever and ever. —That Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt
  • Please don’t ask why we forgot didn’t call “Mean Jean’s” Office to get all those files that got packed up and shipped out. “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Inexperienced-and-incompetent Transition Team
  • It’ll be really convenient for the new Ohio Second District Congress Office to be located right across the street, if they ever get moved. —Anderson Tea Party
  • Last year when Artis Conceptionsaw the front-page story in Thursday’s Fishwrap abouthow liberal extremists on Cincinnati Clown-cil were giving me more power,I couldn’t wait to show everybody the “Little Lap Dogs” I received as a Christmas Present. —Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory


  • image015Who put the big “F U” on the podium at my farewell party? —Semper Si Leis
  • Does Santa really see you when you’re masturbating? —Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien
  • image019This Christmas, we all sang carols around a giant Chabothead with a Star of Dubya on top. —Real Republicans in Green Township
  • Did I forget to Tweet everybody a “Happy Kwanzaa?” —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
  • We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
  • Please tell the yoofs there be only one mo’ shopliftin’ day till Kwanzaa! —Kwanzaa Klaus
  • image021Last night on Christmas Eve Gift Exchange, everybody got a Lump of Coal. —Romney Supporters Anonymous in Goshen
  • Yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, I explained “The Four Stages of Life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You become Santa Claus. 4) You start to look like Santa Claus. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • Next year if Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders and That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters(including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) plan to hold their Christmas parties at the same time and place, maybe they should look for a bigger place. —Northern Kentucky Party Planners
  • Why do people always want to know from me what dumb blondes ask Santa for Christmas? —TV 19’s Trish the Dish
  • Sheree Paolello says that’s really one of those dumb blonde jokes, right? —Jack Atherton, (Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you wanted to send me a Christmas present)

Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—

Sometimes The Blower makes fun blasphemy to show that sacrilege will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who finds pictures of the Virgin Mary serving chicken wings the least bit offensive.


Which is why during the entire month of December, The Blower has attempted to offer only spiritual and uplifting holiday messages. Unfortunately, a few tasteless, sacrilegious, and politically incorrect items may have slipped through, such as pictures of Adolf Hitler’s Christmas Party and the Onion’s story about Jews celebrating Christmas with a ceremonial re-murdering of Christ.


e-mail your elevating efforts today.


Some tasteless, sacrilegious, and politically incorrect items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally tasteless, sacrilegious, and politically incorrect subscribers

Link of the Day

Merry Christmas, Jesus

image026Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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