Sunday, December 23, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER STORY THIS WEEK was the failure of Congress to pass legislation to avert that dreaded Fiscal Cliff we’ve been hearing so much about lately.
- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was the total hysteria that gripped the nation after that deranged whacko shot all those people at the Sandy Nook School in Newtown, Connecticut, and everybody’s looking for some real leadership from Obama and Congress on some fast action for gun control.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was Obama hopped on Air Force One to begin his too-long delayed $4 million Over-taxed Payer funded vacation in Hawaii, proving once again that when the going gets tough, Obama and Congress get going out of town. Here, according to Photoshop Spoofer Edward Cropper, the only cliff that really matters to our Vacationer-in-Chief.
- MONDAY in our Special “Winter Solstice Celebration” E-dition, The Blower said to the Pagan, “That’s funny, you don’t look Druish.”
We Featured the Anti-Obama version of The Night Before Christmas.
More Politically Incorrect Christmas Songs included “Santa Claus is Totin’ a Gun” submitted by Billy Boy Carbine and the Bluegrass Rifle Association, “Larry Flynt’s XXX-mas Song” submitted by Phil Burr-Ass and his Citizens for Community Values, and “Our Ghetto Christmas Carol”submitted by Our Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston.
We showed you what our Amazing Chabothead looked like after watering for 20 days, why Santa Claus might not be coming to your house, and why it was always said of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.
Then there was the Twelfth verse of our “Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” “Christmas in Iraq,” and our Christmas Wish List Hot Line.
- TUESDAY in our Special “Obama’s Sandy Nook Speech” E-dition,The Blower said, “The world will little note nor long remember” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
We’re doing our best to politicize Friday’s terrible tragedy that left twenty-seven people dead, including at least 18 children, after a deranged gunman opened fire at the Sandy Nook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. —Disingenuous DemocRATS and Kneepad Liberals in the Press
We’re comparing Obama’s Sunday speech at Shady Nook with Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. No kidding! —Obama Supporters in the Press
After Republicans promised to keep up pressure on Obama’s Benghazi Scandal and Hillary had been scheduled to testify next week, Hillary mysteriously fainted and had a “concussion,” and now her doctor says she won’t be able to testify. Is that a Coincidence or what! —State Department Spokesmen
Just because I caved on the Fiscal Cliff and raising the Debt Limit, and said I was also open to raising taxes doesn’t mean I should be replaced, does it? —Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner
How long is Obama delaying his $4-million 20-day vacation to Hawaii? —Oahu Obamabots
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Media Advisory” E-dition,The Blower announced there would be no Whistleblower Newswire today because we were not feeling at all well.
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Re-gifting Guide” E-dition, The Blower advised, “First, keep track of who gave those gifts to you!”
GIFTS YOU CAN’T AFFORD: In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker said yesterday everybody was waiting to see if GOP House Speaker John Boehner had totally caved in to Obama and Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate, just because he caved on the Fiscal Cliff and raising the Debt Limit during our Daily December Drama.
- FRIDAY in our Special “Mayan Mayhem” E-dition, The Blower asked if today was the end of the world, why were we working on that e-dition.
The Mayans predicted the end of the world would be coming todayand a lot of people all over the world are taking them seriously. Like all those “end of the world callers” flooding the NASA switchboard. Thousands of cult members were arrested in China. Doomsdayers gathered in Australia. New Yorkers are looking for an end-of-the-world orgy. In Washington, Obama and the DemocRATS are replaying their annual doomsday scenario of the National Debt. Every day it looks more like the inmates have taken over the asylum. It’s just what all of those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters truly deserve—four more years of the rancor and ruin of the Divided States of America during Obama’s second term. But people in hereabouts have little to worry about. Remember what Mark Twain always said: “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati, because it’s always twenty years behind the times.”
- SATURDAY in our Official “Good News and Bad News” E-dition, The Blower said, “The World Didn’t End, But Obama’s Still President, and unfortunately, the End of the World was Boehner’s “Plan C.”
Our DC Newsbreaker says Saturday on the night before, the night before, the night before Christmas, GOP House Speaker John Boehner still says he’s not giving up on hopes for a last-minute deal to avert the fiscal crisis.
Thursday night, Boehner sent the House home for Christmas, opting not to bring his “Plan B” bill to the floor when it became clear that he did not have the votes within his own caucus to pass it.
Happy Holidays, America—your national debt is now more than $16.4 Trillion.
Only in Washington DC can 536 individuals sit around debating a set of alternatives that at best would bring in enough revenue to cover nine days of deficit and contain no actual reduction in spending!
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much.”
Still, Obama says raising taxes to cut the deficit is a “balanced” approach.
If this D.C. Debacle doesn’t wake our Tea Party Patriots from their long winter’s nap, we don’t know what will. At least Ohio’s Second Congressional District Office will be moving across the street from the Anderson Tea Party.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
The Alan Falfa Story
So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) sent over an electric train for Alan, an electric saw for Alan’s father so he can get some part-time work as a scab carpenter remodeling the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center, an electric blanket to keep Alan’s arthritic grandmother warm on cold winter nights, and an electric hair dryer for Alan’s 15-year-old sister Missy, so she can look nice when she goes out with that decrepit Channel 9 sportscaster who promised her a job as an intern at the station after Horny in Hebron’s favorite massage parlor in Covington was padlocked.
The Falfa family has you to thank, since it’s your liberal guilt giving throughout the year which makes it all possible. Now if those heartless bastards from Duke Energy don’t turn off the Falfa Family’s electricity on Christmas Eve like they do every year, things will be a whole lot merrier.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
- COUNTDOWN TO TAXMAGEDDON: That Mayan calendar wasn’t correct and the world didn’t come to an end on December 21, so Taxmageddon is still coming in eight more days when America goes over the Fiscal Cliff and that $494 billion tax increase wallops the economy on January 1, 2013.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Voter confidence is fading that Congress and the president will reach a deal to avoid the December 31 “fiscal cliff” of big tax hikes and automatic across-the-board spending cuts. What was their first clue?
- WALL STREET WEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes saysthe Stock Market inched down this week, closing on Friday at 13,190.84, it was only down a mere 54 points from the point at which Obama was re-elected. We can hardly wait to see what happens next week when the country is ready to go over the “Fiscal Cliff.”
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Obama’s “The best is yet to come.”
- LAYOFFS LOOMING: All those staffers from “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Lame Duck Ohio Second District Congressional offices in Washington, Cincinnati, Portsmouth, and Peebles were already standing in line for free holiday dinners at the Freebee Store, but don’t worry about Her Meanness. She’s probably off junketing someplace and over-taxed payers will be paying her pension and health benefits forever and ever.
- THUGS ‘R US: According to WeaselZippers, AFL-CIO Top Goon Richard Trumka is demanding Obama take back his offer to cut Social Security benefits following the failure of House Republicans to move their “Plan B” tax proposal, and as we all know, when Trumka says “jump,” Obama says, “how high”
- TEA PARTY PATRIOTS: Members of the Tea Party Caucus in Congress must be feeling their oats these days, especially after GOP House Speaker John Boehner’s Plan “B” didn’t have enough votes to pass Thursday night.
- MESSAGE FOR JOHN BOEHNER: According to Brietbart, The future leadership of the House GOP conference may be decided by a procedural motion on the morning of January 3. When the new 113th Congress convenes that day, the first order of business will be to elect a Speaker of the House. Some GOP members are planning to preempt this vote with a motion to conduct the election of Speaker by secret ballot. If that were to happen, John Boehner may face a real fight to retain the Speaker’s gavel. In this illustration, Edward Cropper depicts Boehner as a spineless jellyfish.
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Did you see how Liberals and the Blamestream Media are politicizing that school shooting in Connecticut? Will the hysterics never end? Chalk up another Whistleblower Prediction that came true.
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Racial Racketeers say Obama doesn’t really care when “Black Folks” get shot, only when “Vanilla” children do.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1888, Vincent Van Gogh chopped off his ear and gave it to a prostitute, and this year Obama and the whores in Congress want to cut your balls off one more time.
- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: This week we saw a new example of just how far prominent people will go to commit voter fraud. Wendy Rosen, who until last September was the DemocRAT nominee in Maryland’s Eastern Shore congressional district, was just indicted for voting in both Florida and Maryland since at least 2006. Each of the two counts she was indicted on carry a possible sentence of up to five years in jail and a fine of $2,500.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “It looks like President Obama is going to pick John Kerry to be our next secretary of state. This is a very strategic move when it comes to foreign policy. Obama plans to use Kerry to bore our enemies to death.” Here Edward Cropper shows us Obama telling Kerry to ignore the hecker, since a lot people think he’s a gigolo.
- FIRST AMENDMENT UPDATE: Not only did The Blower’s beat The Fishwrap with coverage on that controversial Steubenville, Ohio rape case, but once again, we beat the New York Times with coverage of Whistleblower Dream Team Chairman Scott Greenwood’s coming to the rescue of hapless pseudonymous blog commenters (who probably live in their mothers’ basements) to question whether more than just two of the star football players from the hillbilly eastern town of Steubenville were involved in a sexual assault against a young woman that was so controversial that both the judge and prosecutor recused themselves, and they had to bring Judge Thomas Lipps back from the dead from Cincinnati to preside over the case. [READ MORE HERE]
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES discussed Republicans for Higher Taxes condemn Congressman Steve Chabot for vowing to block federal money for the Cincinnati streetcar. They encourage pro-streetcar Republicans, such as Simon Leis or Sean Donovan, to challenge Chabot in 2014.
- THE WHISTLEBLOWER CONSERVATIVE FOCUS GROUP: analyzing what went wrong with the Republican message in 2012, we recall when Winston Churchill once said: “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with a typical voter.”
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP has not been mentioned in The Blower all week. Didn’t we tell you how irrelevant he’s becoming?
- OHIO’S HEARTACHE OF IT ALL: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says today marks 74 days that Dishonest DemocRAT Clayton Luckie has been a member of the Ohio House of Representatives while continuing to draw a paycheck. Luckie is scheduled to stand trial for lying, cheating and stealing in January. Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien’s long overdue public masturbation trial is also scheduled for January.
- ROMNEY SUPPORTERS ANONYMOUS were really depressed when all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama Electors actually cast their ballots for Obama in the Electoral College last Monday.
- CLOWNS IN CONGRESS: One important responsibility for all Members of Congress is to provide “services” to the thousands of “constituents” who call their offices. And when a Member of Congress leaves office, “Constituency Service” files are customarily turned over to the incoming member. But that didn’t happen in Ohio’s Second Congressional District when “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s inexperienced and incompetent Transition Team forgot to call “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s office to ask about the files. Sources have even reported that “Mean Jean” and “Bronze Star” have not met nor even spoken since March when he was elected to take her place in Congress. In fact, in a recent column in The Fishwrap “Mean Jean” talked about packing up and closing her office and transitioning open case files to Senator Rob Portman or Senator Sherrod Brown. How could something like that happen?
- GOING GALT: The phrase ‘Going Galt’ doesn’t simply mean getting angry. That would be “Going Postal.” It means having righteous indignation at the injustice of a political system that bails out individuals and institutions for irresponsible behavior and at the expense of those like you who prosper through hard work and personal responsibly.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): The City of Cincinnati is broke, it refuses to fund its retirement system and has a massive $40 million budget deficit. We all know the city is a fiscal mess. Considering all that, the city clown-cil just unanimously approved Dough Boy Honey’s proposal of an Ordinance for the city to hire a Breast Feeding Peer Counselor to the city payroll at a salary of $76,000 per year. (Ordinance 201201484). We told you about this on November 26. Now it’s a done deal. Maybe the end-of-the world has already arrived.
- FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Until two days ago, you be able to see what the front page of The Fishwrap looked like at Newseum.org. Maybe they went out of business and didn’t tell the rest of us.
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: Courthouse hacks are all wondering how many of Sean Donavan’s cronies in the Sheriff’s Department will be getting their walking papers when the new sheriff Jim Neil comes riding into town in January.
- NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, found in “Erotic Christmas Poems,” available at better sticky pages bookstores everywhere.
Ol’ Santa made a special stop
At a town up north named Nome
He found a real cute housewife
Whose husband wasn’t home.
- LOONY LIBERTARIANS: Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns says, “The so-called Fiscal Cliff is a joke compared to when we fall into the Fiscal Grand Canyon!”
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 10: Quote G. Gordon Liddy: “A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellowman, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.”
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY:The Cronies will be meeting soon to decide what to name after their “Lame Duck” Congresswoman as soon as she’s out of office. They named a water treatment plant after Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen when he lived in Hillsboro, which is not even in Clermont County..
- IN ANDERSON: The Forest Hills Urinal missed a couple of stories this week. First, Ohio’s Second Congressional District Office will be relocating to Anderson across the street from the Anderson Tea Party Headquarters (already twice mentioned in The Blower) and Pinnacle Entertainment (owner of River Downs race track) agreed on Friday to buy Ameristar Casinos for $869 million in cash, in a deal that would more than double its size.
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the Sidebar in Covington was a little crowded Friday night when all those people showed up at the holiday party hosted by That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club).
It seems our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders office was having its Christmas Party at the same place, and at the exact same time. Is that a coincidence or what?
- AT THIS WEEK’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane what’s been the worst part about being under the weather this week, not even being able to publish an e-dition on Wednesday. “It’s been a tough week,” Kane lamented. “I even had to give up a bribe lunch at The Boathouse.”
- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday will be Christmas Eve, so we don’t imagine employers will be getting much productivity that day.
Tuesday we’ll publish Real E-Mails even on Christmas, and maybe Santa will share some of his.
Wednesday, it’s our Annual Cincinnati Kwanzaabration.
Thursday all those UC Football fans will find out what a “Belk” is.
And the first line of Friday’s limerick is: “This time my New Year’s Resolution.”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.