Daily Archives: December 6, 2012

Special “Seasonally Adjusted” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

December Daze

  • THE MAYAN CALENDAR predicts the “END of the WORLD” on December 21. Scientists and scholars said we only had only two chances to escape this prediction. The first was in November 2008 and the last one was on November 6, 2012. Unfortunately, all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters blew it.
  • ALSO ON DECEMBER 21: Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders has scheduled his Holiday Party at Sidebar in Covington, along with the Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club).

On December 21, there will be only five more shoplifting days until Kwanza.

Druids will be celebrating the Winter Solstice.

Cougars in Fort Mitchell will be on the prowl for young boys to celebrate World Orgasm Day.

And, for all the attendees for “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas party being held in a specially opened private party room at the Horseshoe Casino at 1000 Broadway, downtown, please note the starting time on December 21 is 6:00 p.m. Mention to the security person at the entrance you are there for the Schmidt party in order to get in. We are told it’s going to be an upscale party this year. Her Meanness is not sending out invitations to the Christmas party this year; it’s strictly by word-of-mouth. Parking is on the street or in nearby parking lots. Dress is office-appropriate or cocktail clothing.

Now for those of you planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane at TL-DCELPMOB-A-P-FT&SW-PRB-in-a-D’s over-taxed payer funded event, let’s all sing the fourth verse of “Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, who still claims he did not run down that “Bitch-in-a-Ditch,” at the spot where Union Township officials in Clermont County had erected that sign for the occasion.

Instead, “TaxKiller Tom” is shown gleefully cutting “Mean Jean’s” head off a cake at the Marie Antoinette “Let ‘Em Eat Cake Awards.” It goes something like this:

On the Fourth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.

    • MEANWHILE: If you’re still having trouble finding where Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup will be turning on those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County on Saturday, you might check with the Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located west of West Union.
    • TODAY, THE WHISTLEBLOWER REPERTORY GROUP proudly presents the Whistleblower Snowball Fight Video, where Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Newt are teamed up against Alex T. and the local RINOs.
    • FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Union Teachers can show their support for Obama by decorating their classrooms with Obama ornaments during the holiday season. This one only costs $7.99, plus God-only-knows-how-much for shipping-and-handling from The Obama 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.

  • MORE SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA: Here’s a new video narrated by Ed Asner, produced by the California Federation of Teachers, which could already be drumming up hate, using the typical class warfare images we’ve come to expect from Big Labor. It shows “The Rich Pissing on the Poor,” and you can’t get a whole lot classier than that.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1884, work on the Washington Monument was completed, but as early as 1783, Congress decided that a memorial to the great Revolutionary War general should be constructed near the site of the new Congressional building. For Congress, 101 years is pretty quick work.
  • TAXMAGEDDON is now only 25 days away, while Obama and Congress continue their fruitless efforts to avoid sending the country over the Fiscal Cliff on January 1, 2013.
  • NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Cicero’s “The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work instead of living on public assistance.” So, evidently we’ve learned nothing in the past 2,067 years.
  • IN WASHINGTON: our DC Newsbreaker says Obama met with PMSNBC Liberals like Lesbian Rachel Madcow and Black Racial Racketeer Al Sharpton to discuss ways to raise your taxes. Talk about your inmates running the asylum.
  • IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders can’t decide which is the more important story this morning: Drunk DemocRAT Congressman Tim Ryan of Niles getting arrested for public intoxication in Virginia, or GOP U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Filibusters” Portman’s fiscal speech being halted by hecklers.
  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES could hardly wait yesterday for the Hamilton County Commissioners to decide how to give more of your money to Bungals, Reds, and Cincinnati Public Schools. Would Odd Todd Opportune get his sales tax? Would Greg “Tax Hike” Hartmann get to raise your property taxes? RFHT was hoping for a compromise and raise both.
  • OUR COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE says double murder suspect Dawn McFadden died while in the Hamilton County Injustice Center of an overdose. Every suspect should be given the option of an overdose or jail time. She saved the county lawyers money because she cancelled the trial. Guilty and Done!
  • UC’S THREE-YEAR ITCH: Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball says it only seems like it was three years ago this week when were all listening to football coach Brian Kelley’s lies about wanting to finish his career at UC.
  • CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHLIN is speaking out against House Speaker John Boehner’s decision to take plum committee assignments away from four conservative Republican lawmakers after they bucked party leaders on key votes. And according to Matt Kibbe, president of the Tea Party group FreedomWorks, “This is a clear attempt on the part of Republican leadership to punish those in Washington who vote the way they promised their constituents they would — on principle — instead of mindlessly rubber-stamping trillion dollar deficits and the bankrupting of America.” Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception appears to agree.
  • BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says it’s no wonder Senate Republican Leader Bitch McConnell couldn’t even hold his nose and endorse Boehner’s proposal that would raise taxes by $800 billion.
  • FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders are asking Charles Foster Kane how diverse the coverage in The Blower would be during the rest of the week. “We’ll be getting ready for another sneak attack in our Friday E-dition, as we refer to Pearl Harbor Day as ‘12/7,’ and on Saturday Hanukkah Harry will be celebrating the first night of Hanukkah,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained. “Japs and Jews in The Blower during the same week— you can’t ask for more damn diversity than that!”

Seediest Kids of All

 Today we bring you the inspiring story of Norbert Bleek, a cute little 8-year-old from Northern Kentucky whose mother couldn’t afford to buy him new Nike gym shoes and Polo T-shirts all the time, so Norbert was forced to wear his older sister Betsy’s tattered, out-of-style, hand-me-down dresses. Norbert’s school mates were often cruel, especially when they made fun of the way he dressed.

So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) sent over some school clothes, courtesy of Norma Rashid’s Recycled Clothing Store in Fort Thomas.

These days when Norbert goes to school, he wears his own tattered, out-of-style dress, instead of one previously worn by his older sister. Norbert’s classmates still make fun of him, but it’s not just because he wears girls’ clothes. It’s because his mother is a lesbian, and they live in Y’All Ville, KY, where laughing at a child whose mother has hairy legs is not prohibited by that city’s Human Rights Ordinance.

The Bleek family has you to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Horseshoe Casino, for publicizing all of their holiday parties, even before the gambling officially begun.


e-mail your meaningless drivel today.

Some deficit reducing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally deficit reducing subscribers.

Link of the Day

Steve Martin (not the Judge) Is “The Great Flydini”

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