Sunday, November 11, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER STORY THIS WEEK was how only two days after Obama’s re-election, General David Petraeus (Rhymes with Betray-us), the CIA Director, has resigned from the administration over an extramarital affair. Petraeus had been slated to testify before Congress this week on the murder of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens, in Benghazi, Libya. Is that a lucky coincidence for the Obama Administration or what? Not that a sex scandal is associated with Benghazi, do you think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press will pursue it?
OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was the Media’s Obama-nation of 2012: It’s been the most dishonest, relentlessly one-sided campaign of bias and distortion by the mainstream media in American history. We thought we’d already witnessed the “Death of Objective Journalism in America,” but unfortunately, this year our Obama Supporters in the Press were still too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to bring you the truth.
Not that all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span registered voters gave a big rat’s ass. People seemed surprised when we asked them if they planned to vote on Tuesday. Their ignorance and apathy were overwhelming. We even thought we were watching Jay Leno interviewing all those really stupid people on TV.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was that little mistake we made when it came time to make our political predictions on Election Day. It was a small mistake, and we hoped nobody would actually notice.
- MONDAY in our Special “Indecision 2012” E-dition, The Blower explained its “Non-Endorsement Policy.”
Before every election, The Whistleblower is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Indecision 2012, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only one day before the elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.
Unlike the so-called mainstream news media like Skaggie Maggie’s Feckless Fishwrap (whose totally discredited political endorsements and news coverage are so often interchangeable), The Whistleblower continues to present facts, opinions, viewpoints, and analyses on all sides of an issue.
And since we never accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interests to dictate their extreme prejudices, we wouldn’t insult our readers by presuming they’re not bright enough and sufficiently critical to evaluate what we’ve presented, along with everything else they’ve seen, read, heard, and smelled so they can make up their own minds.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Official “Election Day Debacle” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Which candidate were we supposed to vote for anyway?” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Now that the campaign is finally over, can we stop un-reporting how much larger and more enthusiastic Romney’s rallies have been during the 2012 campaign? —Obama Supporters in the Press
Could we please have a short Election Day Extension? We still haven’t made up our minds. —Dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span uninformed and undecided voters
Wait a minute. The campaign’s not over yet. I’ll be back in Ohio to work at the polls on Election Day. —Mitt Romney
With all the polls so close, maybe the only poll that really counts is the one on Election Day when real people vote. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Please don’t ask how many billions of over-taxed payers’ dollars were borrowed from China so Obama could fly around the country on Air Force One fund-raising and campaigning during the past four years. —General Accounting Office
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “ Twentieth Anniversary” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’ll still be staying around.”
The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement twenty years ago on the day after Election Day in 1992 following our decision to suspend publication a year earlier.
Hurley the Historian says we had to return. Our November 5, 1991 Edition # 75 of the original Whistleblower print edition was supposed to be our final edition. But after witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.
Voters in ’92, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom The Blower predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.
America got a leader it truly deserved— more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, and rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Post-Election Analysis” E-dition, The Blower brought you another Whistleblower Prediction that came true:
Yesterday, Political Insiders at the post-election meeting of the Conservative Agenda couldn’t stop congratulating Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane on his prediction that Hamilton County would continue to stay “Blue” on November 6, causing Ohio to do the same, and the Divided States of America would wind up with the same tax-and-spend liberal in the White House for another awful four years, at the very least.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura was right. After wasting billions of dollars on an 18-month national campaign that didn’t decided a damned thing, and all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span registered voters still have exactly the same government they deserve.
Hurley the Historian says we’ve only been predicting Tuesday’s electoral debacle since that day after the 2006 Elections, when we first warned that Republicans had not learned their lessons. No wonder Our Quote for Today Committee once again chose George Santayana’s “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
Congratulations to Alex T., Mall Cop, GOP. With “Old Blueface” still in charge, the Hamilton County RINO Party is still wandering in the wilderness.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY in our Official “Mourning in America” E-dition, The Blower said Post-Election Depression was enveloping the country!
NO JOY IN ROMNEY-VILLE: Many Romney voters are experiencing profound post-election depression these days. According to Dr. Linda Reiss, a psychologist in Minneapolis, in some cases, it even extends beyond disappointment over the election results. “Anger over a candidate or an issue winning or losing can subconsciously trigger other emotions that have been buried, some deep disappointment that occurred when we were much younger or even when we were children. During the days following elections we are often reminded of how we felt at other times in our lives when we felt those close to us where not making rational decisions.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Special “Saturday Morning Quarterback” E-dition, The Blower offered more Hindsight and Second-Guessing!
Tired Over-Taxed Payer Tino Delgato said, “Unfortunately the new majority consists of those who do not pay taxes and are on one or more government entitlement or welfare programs. If Obama gets the illegal immigrants citizenship he will have further increased that majority, except for the ones who already vote. The government will be run by those who do not pay taxes and like Obama have never had a real job. Remember the old saying circa 1776 “no taxation without representation.” It is back. Go Figure!!!
Romney was right about the 47%
Thomas Jefferson would’ve agreed, when he said, “The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”
And our Good Friend Bobby Leach said we should start working to repeal the 19th Amendment (the one giving women the right to vote) and test all male offspring for excess levels of estrogen in their systems. After Tuesday’s elections, it looks like treatment needs to begin immediately
[READ MORE HERE]
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
WALL STREET WEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says the Stock Market only plummeted 3% since Obama was re-elected on Tuesday.- LAYOFFS LOOMING: And would you look at all those companies announcing layoffs since Tuesday!
Oh well, all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters approved it.
- WHEN REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES released their endorsement wrapup, the list of candidates such as Barack Obama and Sean Donovan were guaranteed to raise your taxes and grow government.
- THE WHISTLEBLOWER CONSERVATIVE FOCUS GROUP: Rather than all that 20-20 Hindsight and Second Guessing about Tuesday’s Elections, The Blower is seriously attempting to analyze: (1) what went wrong, (2) what went right, and (3) what, if anything, your GOP leadership at all levels could possibly do to correct their many past mistakes. This week, members of the Focus Group were submitting enlightening explanations for what had happened Tuesday night on the worst day in our country’s history. Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen offered his historical context in Friday’s E-dition.
OHIO’S HEARTACHE OF IT ALL: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders wonders now that the Ohio RINO Party will be licking its wounds for a long time after Tuesday’s humiliating defeat, will Tea Party Patriots be thinking about how they should not have given in and allowed the establishment Republicans to ruin their chances for a Conservative victory one more time in 2012.- TEA PARTY PATRIOTS: say the election is now history. Rest in Peace, America. On Tuesday night, our country as we know it, ceased to exist. The voters elected Mitt Romney, the votes elected Obama. The TAKERS now outnumber the MAKERS. And it’s the MEDIA that determines who wins an election.
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: Congratulations to Alex T., Mall Cop, GOP. With “Old Blueface” in charge, the Hamilton County RINO Party is still wandering in the wilderness until the end of time.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says today is Veterans Day, or as members of the military hereabouts call it: “Free Bloomin’ Onion Day at Outback for Veterans.” Check out some of these other great free meal deals at area restaurants HERE.
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Napoleon’s “An army marches on its stomach.”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says one of the strangest aspects of Election 2012 is that voters were demanding change, but they didn’t change politicians. Republicans are still in charge of the House, there are even more D-RATS in the Senate, and they allowed the worst President in American History to remain in the White House. What could possibly be wrong with that?
- FLUBBING FISHWRAPPERS: Tuesday morning, Fishwrap Politics Editor Carl “Bud” Weiser posted an item on their website that said Romney was up by 92,000 votes. The story was picked up by numerous news services, and the Drudge Report blasted it out on their site, too with the question: How do The Fishwrappers know when the votes haven’t been counted. Cincinnati.com then issued another one of its customary apologies.
MEDIA MENDACITY: Does anybody remember Benghazi? Anyone?- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Obama only won 39% of the non-racist white vote on Tuesday.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Were Cincinnati’s dumbed down voters really stupid enough to approved four-year terms for Cincinnati City Clown-cil? And who says The Fishwrap doesn’t endorse great ideas?
- CROOKS IN CONGRESS: The Fishwrap seemed positively shocked when That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt still showed no sign of raising the $500,000 that the House Ethics Committee ordered her to pay. How many times did Skaggie Maggie’s Idiotorial Board endorse our Bitch-in-a Ditch over honest opponents anyway?
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL:: Election Day is finally over and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.
A Government You Deserve
City Clown-cil is a sorry lot
But that is nothing new.
So you folks should not complain too much
Since they were voted in by you.
THOSE LOONEY LIBERTARIANS: Waving at cars is a popular pastime for candidates with no money or campaigns, like perennial Ohio First District Congressional District Candidates like Jim Berns. But if he’d like to do motorists a real service, he’s stand underneath one of those secret cameras in Elmwood Place holding a sign that said “Slow Down,” so drivers could avoid some of those $105 speeding tickets for going 26 MPH in a 25 MPH zone.- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s “Four counties in Florida were still counting votes today. It’s important that they get all of the votes counted because the numbers could drastically affect the outcome of this election in no way whatsoever.”
- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: Obama won dozens of Cleveland precincts with 100% of the vote. What incredible luck!
- HC SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: Even party hacks are wondering where there will be a meeting to select a new Republican Party Chairman after another humiliating loss in 2012. “What’s the hurry?” asked Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka. “My good friend Alex is still going a great job.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy #316 is to tell a joke:
Q. Why should liberals be buried 100 feet below the ground?
A. Because deep down they are really good people.
- NoKY NEWS: Kentucky’s New Fourth District Congressman-elect Thomas Massie will be sworn in early on November 13 so he can go to work obstructing the wishes of all those Obama’s Moochers and Slackers who want you to pay for more free stuff for them, but will he be returning for Graydon Head’s annual holiday party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club on November 28?
AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how Real Republicans could try to console themselves the next four years during Obama’s second term. “You know badly Obama’s going to screw up,” Kane explained, “so think how many times you’ll be able to say ‘I told you so.” And with any luck, we might even find grounds for impeachment. It worked during Clinton’s second term. Just think how much fun that’ll be!- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday is the Veterans Day Federal holiday and members of the military past and present will be eating free at patriotic restaurants all over town.
Tuesday, Real Subscribers will be bombarding us with their Real E-Mails.
Wednesday, we’ll be “Going Galt” and avoid paying taxes.
Thursday will be National Philanthropy Day, but this year we’re just going to tell all those begging bastards “We’re done giving. Now go ask Obama.”
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “The reason we all feel depressed.” But maybe by then, we won’t be so depressed.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day
“Knock, Knock—Spread the Wealth”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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