Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

We really did our best to cover Obama’s joke Vice President Joe Biden during his just another Mediscare Stump Speech at MILF-ord High School cafeteria (downsized from the gym) on his sparsely attended post-convention Lies and Distortion Tour. —Obama Supporters in the Press
Unfortunately, the most newsworthy part of Joe Biden’s campaign swing through southwestern Ohio was when he was photographed whispering lewd suggestions to an antique biker chick sitting on his lap with two biker bums looking on at Cruisers Diner in Seaman, Ohio. —Photo Spoofer Edward Cropper
When Joe Biden dared the news media to check his facts, we told him not to worry about The Fishwrap. —Clermont County Demo-Labor Party Boss Dave Lane
Is that like during the 1988 DemocRAT Presidential Primary when Gary Hart told the media to “Catch me if you can?” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Do you think the three Republican Miami Township Trustees would be proud to know we all requested and got a photo with Joe Biden while we were being paid double time by local over-taxed payers for working on a Sunday? —Miami Township Police Department Employees
Sharon Coolidge (D., Fishwrap) was more than willing to publish our bogus “735” attendance figure. —The Miami Township Fire Department
Is that why The Blower says those Feckless Fishwrappers are too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest ever to report the truth? —Freddie Factchecker
We had to keep a tight shot during Biden’s speech to keep from showing how small Biden’s rally really was. —TV 12
We didn’t see many other “Sluts for Obama” on TV. —Laure “Not so” Cleanlivin and Denise Dreihaus
Please don’t ask how many MILF-ord residents now plan to vote against our tax hike after we allowed Joe Biden to speak at MILF-ord High School. —MILF-ord School Board
Our opposition to the Milford school levy has been energized by that photo of MILF-ord SOCIAList studies teacher Gabby Downey introducing Joe Biden on Sunday. —Clermont County Tea Party Patriots
At least our teachers aren’t on strike after being offered a $400 million raise like Obama’s schools in Chicago. —Clermont County Schools
I hope my friends in the Clermont County Tea Party don’t hold it against me that I enthusiastically endorsed the upcoming school levy as a member of the MILF-ord School Board. — Rob Hewlett
Do you think residents of MILF-ord will recognize me? —Charlie Seipelt, for whom one of the Milford School Buildings is named
And while Real Republicans in Clermont County were protesting the Deranged DemocRAT Vice-President appearing in MILFord, the “Real Republicans” in Hamilton County were getting together for a fund-raiser for the “Townships Cities and Villages” committee, which supports local Hamilton County Republicans who aren’t even running for office for another 14 months! While everyone else in the oh-so-important state of Ohio is focused on defeating the Statist-In-Chief, here in Hamilton County, we’re raising money for notorious tax-hikers like Rick Bryan, Jim Sumner, Virgil Lovitt, and my other loyal cronies in Greed Township. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss, Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
I hope the Clermont Tea Partiers do a better job of getting people to attend my rally at the Clermont County
Fairgrounds Wednesday night. —Romney’s VP Paul Ryan
Will there ever be a reason for a presidential or vice presidential candidate to campaign in Northern Kentucky? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
There were plenty of registered voters from Ohio at Oktoberfest last weekend. —Mainstrasse Merchants
We can hardly believe there are now only “55” more days till the November Elections. —Campaign Count-downers at the Conservative Agenda
That hardly seems long enough. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
Do you think candidates will politicize 9/11 enough today? —Hurley the Historian
Trish the Dish wonders why they gave the 9/11 holiday to the number you’re supposed to use to call the police? —Channel 19 Short Attention Span News at 6:30 PM
There’s no such thing as a dumb blonde? — Channel 5’s Sheree Paolello

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Dysfunctional DemocRAT Vice Presidential Selections to show that being a pompous gasbag is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a plagiarist with hair plugs.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Bombastic Joe Biden.

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