Daily Archives: August 23, 2012

Special “Adios Akin” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Another Week, Another Distraction!

  • Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says you can forget about Mitt Romney’s Tax Returns for the moment, because this week’s “Campaign Distraction” has been changed to making a BFD out of Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin’s bizarre comments about abortion and rape. So far, Obama Supporters in the Press have given the Akin story four times more coverage then Biden’s “Chains” smear.

Other unimportant 2012 campaign issues that will not be discussed this week include the county’s 8.3% unemployment, the highest poverty rate in 50 years, 46 million Americans on food stamps, $16 trillion national debt, the worst economic recovery in U.S. History, $5.3 trillion record deficit spending in three years, the first U.S Credit Downgrade, Iranian nukes, Islamic extremism, diminished U.S. Global standing, GM losses, “Fast and Furious,” intelligence leaks, Obamacare, and cutting $716 billion from Medicare, just to name a few.

  • Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1814, first lady Dolley Madison saved a portrait of George Washington from being looted or burned by British troops during the war of 1812. These days, Barry and Michelle would only save themselves.
  • And now Obama’s Bumbling Vice President plans to create another distraction by crashing the GOP Convention in Tampa next week. Noted Florida Political Reporter Manatee Tadwell wonders who Biden’s going to talk to— the Occupy Protesters?
  • In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says a record amount of money is being spent on Ohio’s Senate race this year, where Disingenuous DemocRAT Sherrod Brown is seeking a second term. Outside interest groups are flooding the state with money. Labor, environmental, and other liberal groups are spending on behalf of Brown; the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, business and conservative groups are bundling campaign cash in support of Republican challenger Josh Mandel. Who says elections aren’t good for business?
  • In another item, Gerry Manders says before heading to Tampa for the Republican Convention next week, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will be headed back to Ohio to introduce the historic battleground state to America’s Comeback Team. You knew that was going to happen.
  • Manders also wonders which picture to feature with his story about Obama’s doofus campaign trip to Ohio on Tuesday— the one where the smartest president in history doesn’t know how to spell Ohio, or the one with Obama speaking with the teleprompter in front of his face.
  • And with only “75” more days until the 2012 Elections, there’s another Obama local campaign office opening. This one is in the Killing Fields of Over-The-Rhine. Maybe the yoofs will celebrate with a twenty-one gun salute.
  • Down at the Plum Street Circus, our City Hall Snitch sent us an item that implies our Impostor Police Chief is breaking an Ohio law he is required to uphold. Do you think Ohio Attorney General should be informed?
  • Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel wants to know why University of Cincinnati President Gregory H. Williams resigned due to “personal reasons.” Wow! That recent employee satisfaction survey must have been a doozy!
  • Republicans for Higher Taxes are excited to see “Mean Jean” Schmidt unexplainably named as one of America’s sexiest politicians. Their only regret is that “Summer’s Eve” Bolton wasn’t named with her.
  • “Bronze Star Brad’s” 34-year-old campaign mangler worked in the Hamilton County Courthouse for 17 years as a hack of some kind or another before he cashed out his unused leave and went to “work” mangling the sure-thing Wenstrup campaign, so he could hang out for a few months until he could be Congressman Wenstrup’s Chief Flunky for about $100,000 a year or so. Wenstrup has an overpaid team of professional political consultants to do what little strategic work needs to be done in a walk-off campaign like his.
  • CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says despite his good-paying job, the young man apparently was unwilling or unable to pay his mortgage on his $70,000 home at 3118 Daytona Avenue in Westwood. So it looks like Alex’s Ally will be making a return trip to his old stomping grounds at the Hamilton County Courthouse tomorrow. [CHECK THAT CASE OUT HERE]
  • Our Clermont Crusader is still wondering why computers at the Clermont County Libraries suddenly started rejecting The Blower. If only we knew somebody on the Board of Trustees, maybe we could find out.
  • The Anderson Chamber of Congress is always looking for suggestions about the kinds of new businesses needed in the area. Someone says Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien actually suggested a “Sperm Bank.” Kevin says they actually encourage you to masturbate there.
  • Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says a fair-sized crowd of Tea Party Patriots showed up on the Capitol steps in Frankfort and to hear Kentucky’s U.S. Senators Bitch McConnell and Rand Paul speak against the Obamacare on Tuesday. A few Deluded DemocRATS showed up too, especially the idiot who walked to the front of the crowd with an “I Love Obamacare” sign. Nobody said Obama supporters were smart.
  • Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all those distractions coming from Team Obama during the 2012 Presidential Campaign. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “Everybody knew if this year’s election was going to be decided on the basis of hard facts, the Obama administration would be doomed.”

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Christopher Columbus’ “By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.”

Stay on course, Romney, stay on course!


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 Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our August fund-raising drive from the Anderson Sperm Bank, now with convenient night deposits.


DEMOCRAT DISTRACTION HOT LINE

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Some disrupting diversions in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally disrupting, diversionary subscribers


Link of the Day

PAUL RYAN: ENOUGH WITH PRESIDENT OBAMA’S IMAGINARY RECOVERY

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