Sunday, July 29, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was on the eve of a week-long trip abroad meant to demonstrate his command of foreign policy issues, Mitt Romney blasted Obama’s handling of the U.S. alliance with Israel, his efforts to stop Iran’s nuclear bomb capabilities, and his handling of national security secrets. Chiming in with a timely blog entry, Congressman Steve Chabothead wrote about foreign policy Wednesday, calling Obama every bit as disastrous on the international scene as he has been on the domestic front. But isn’t that what Congressmen are supposed to do? Somebody ought to remind Alex T.’s hand-picked campaign mangler on “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign.
- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was how dull and boring those $42.3 million 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremonies turned out to be. SB Nation writes: It’s hard to imagine the Brits would outdo the Canadians for “worst opening ceremony in memory,” but they found a way to do it. Slow, boring, disjointed, everyone at my viewing party was left yawning and we eventually were forced into a game of “Wits and Wagers” to keep from falling asleep.
Not only that, in this week’s Whistleblower Web Poll, the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said most people won’t be watching the 2012 Olympics in London:
(A) Too cold for women’s beach volleyball bikinis: 2% (B) Can’t understand the language: 1% (C) Reds have won seven straight: 1% (D) Not enough coverage on TV: 96%
Worst of all, the Twitter Olympics had hardly begun, and Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou was expelled for her Twitter posts commenting on African immigrants (“So many Africans in Greece at least West Nile mosquitoes will eat homemade food”) and expressing support for a far-right party. Voula will really be missed. Our Good Friend Booby Leach says he’d like to triple jump her.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was Back home, Liberals just couldn’t stop whining about Chick-Fil-A restaurants after the company’s president Dan Cathy stated his support for “traditional marriage.”
Liberals just couldn’t stop whining about Chick-Fil-A restaurants after the company’s president Dan Cathy stated his support for “traditional marriage.” Left-wing Lunatic Roseanne Barr even went postal when she wished everybody who at Chick-Fil-A got cancer. Maybe that’s why Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says, “How would you like to see this Chick Fil A’d?” For the location of the nearest Chick-Fil-A, CLICK HERE.
In Cincinnati, everybody’s wondering when Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory will be calling his Extreme Liberal Clown-cil back into session to pass a resolution to ban Chick-Fil-A from opening up any more restaurants within the city limits, after other gay-loving Liberal Big City Mayors got all bent out of shape when the company’s president Dan Cathy stated his support for “traditional marriage” last week. We used to think all Liberals supported the First Amendment. We must’ve been wrong.
Now with some breaking news from “The Onion”: Chick-Fil-A will be debuting its New Homophobic Sandwich when its “Queer-Hatin” Cordon Bleu’ goes on sale.
- MONDAY in our Another “Mourning in America” E-dition, The Blower said this time, it was for the largest mass shooting in U.S. History.
Is it just us, or does it seem as if Disingenuous DemocRATS and their willing accomplices in the Liberal News Media always exploiting Death, Tragedy, and Crisis for Political Gain?
Their views on religion, global warming, women’s rights, gay rights, minority equality, abortion, gun control, the death penalty, evolution, consumerism, corporate influence, the poor, the middle class, the wealthy, and patriotism are well known, and whenever something bad happens, Liberals can hardly wait to use that event to divide our nation and advance their ideology.
Maybe that’s why nobody was really surprised at Saturday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda when Political Insiders asked Political Insiders asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how long it would be before Obama would being to exploit the Midnight Movie Massacre in Colorado.
- TUESDAY in our Special “Campaign Resumes” E-dition, The Blower said, “Gentlemen, restart your acrimonious attacks!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Was I wrong not to say anything bad about Obama on Sunday while the Mourner-in-Chief was pandering for votes following the Batman Movie Shooting in Colorado? —Mitt Romney
Obama’s Aurora appearance offered us another wonderful opportunity to present him as a healing unifier, while we continue to wage our slash and burn campaign featuring unsubstantiated charges against Mitt Romney, warfare, and charges of racism. —Team Obama
Why would anybody say Disingenuous DemocRATS are always exploiting Death, Tragedy, and Crisis for Political Gain? —Their Willing Accomplices in the Liberal News Media
Now, during Obama’s “historic” presidency, we have the largest mass shooting in U.S. History. —Charles Manson
And we did our best to blame the Tea Party. —ABC’s Cracked Brian Ross and George Stephanopoulos
It’s not as if Obama hasn’t played politics with shooting victims before, except if you count his shamelessly exploiting the Death of Trayvon Martin, the Virginia Tech tragedy, and the shooting of Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. —Hurley the Historian
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Insanity Defense” E-dition, The Blower said, “Only His Hairdresser Knows For Sure?”
Noted Legal Scholar Napolitano Tadwell said following recent events, what everyone seems to forget about Obama’s attack on success is that it isn’t just a tool to deny successful people the credit they deserve, it also allows some people to escape responsibility for their failures, especially since Movie Murderer James Holmes received a $26,000 federal grant from the National Institutes of Health.
Also at Obama’s photo op to exploit the Colorado Movie Massacre, there were no calls for “civility” after this murderous mayhem like there were in after DemocRAT Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot in Arizona. What a difference a re-election campaign makes. Today, with only “103” more days until the November Elections, our DC Newsbreaker says White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard has had nothing to say about the need for Washington to set an example of “civility” because America’s Source of Incivility is sitting in the White House.
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Healing for Dollars” E-dition, The Blower said today Cincinnati had another reason to be proud:
Monday, The Fishwrap featured a photo essay gallery of readers’ choices for the Top Ten Events they’d like to see in Cincinnati. First Choice by far was Major League Baseball’s All Star Game with 653 votes.
Curiously not included was yesterday’s Racial Racketeering Road Show featuring Al Sharpton and Trayvon Martin’s Headline-Hunting, Settlement-Seeking, Obama-Supporting, Unmarried Parents showed up at the Duke Energy Convention Center’s Grand Ballroom. Costs to attend were only $250 for adults and $50 for students. Did Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory wear his hoodie? Couldn’t you just feel all that Racial Healing going on?
- FRIDAY in our Official “Ignoring the 2012 Olympics” E-dition, The Blower was just waiting for Women’s Beach Volleyball to begin:
Presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney began his a weeklong trip to Britain, Israel, and Poland, to meet with leaders of some of America’s allies who’ve received some really shabby and offensive treatment from the Obama Administration. Amazingly, Romney hasn’t bowed to a single foreign leader yet.
How upset are Obama’s Supporters? An Olympic themed ad slams Romney at the Olympics. But how smart was it calling attention to one of Romney’s strengths— the 2002 Olympics. No wonder Obama Super PAC Priorities USA Action was forced to take down this ad.
If Obama wants an Olympic Gold Medal, like his bogus Nobel Peace Prize, maybe he can retrieve Muhammad Ali’s that he threw into the Ohio River in the 1960s.
- SATURDAY in our Special “Obama’s Gaffes Scorecard” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s too bad gaffes aren’t an Olympics Event!”
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane what were the three biggest gaffes Obama’s made lately.
“That’s easy,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, as he checked his Obama Gaffe Scorecard. “On June 8, Obama said ‘The truth of the matter is that, as I said, we created 4.3 million jobs over the last 27 months, over 800,000 just this year alone. The private sector is doing fine.’
On July 13, Obama said, ‘If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.’
And on July 24, Obama said ‘Just like we’ve tried their plan, we tried our plan — and it worked.’ Ever since Obama’s been weaning himself off his teleprompter, he’s really been on a roll. In fact, he’s beginning to sound a lot like Vice President Biden lately.”
Now Political Photo-Shopper Edward Cropper shows us how well Obama’s plan worked.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
- PRESIDENTIAL POLITICS 2012: After watching Obama’s national debt skyrocket, it’s not surprising that his campaign is operating in a similar fashion. Reports that Team Obama raised less than they spent in June is the kind of economics we’ve come to expect from this president and his cronies. We’ve also come to expect that his obscenely expensive ideas, always financed with other people’s money, always fail miserably. That’s probably why Michelle Obama’s campaign stops in Dayton and Columbus on Tuesday had so little impact all over the country, except in The Fishwrap.
Before leaving for Europe, NBC’s Brian Williams asked Romney if he planned to pick an incredibly boring white guy for VP, and Romney quipped, “You told me you were not available.” Meanwhile, with Obama is still jetting around to campaign events on Air Force One making statements like, “Our union may not be perfect, but it is perfectible,” whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. No wonder Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says voters trust Romney more than Obama on the Economy 49%-43%.
- OHIO RINO PARTY: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chef Gerry Manders reported Ohio Republican Party Chairman Boob Bennett issued the following statement on Friday’s dismal gross domestic product (GDP) numbers: “Under the Obama economy anemic economic growth continues. The latest GDP report is another reminder that President Obama’s economic policies are failing America’s working families.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says during this past week, Mitt Romney opened his biggest lead in over a month over President Obama. During the same week, consumer confidence fell to the lowest level of 2012. It’s no coincidence that they happened during the same week.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s “At the Beijing Olympics in 2008, they handed out 100,000 condoms. This year it’s 150,000. That’s 100,000 for the U.S. basketball team and 50,000 for everyone else.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1981 Prince Charles married Lady Di. Why didn’t we see that reenactment as part of Friday night’s Opening Ceremonies from the 2012 Olympics in London?
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose Prince Charles’ “Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?”
- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo heard drug money has been funding voter fraud in Clay County, Kentucky. The good news is, it’s bi-partisan. According to Fox News, more than $400,000, part of it drug proceeds, was pooled by DemocRAT and Republican politicians over several elections, and spent to buy the votes of more than 8,000 voters, usually at $50 apiece. One voter was even able to bid up the cost of his vote to $800. Meanwhile, Congressman Goof Doofus wonders, “How come Clay County isn’t in my district?”
- THUGS ‘R US: AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka says he fears Republicans will do to labor unions at a national level what they’ve sought achieve in the states, if Mitt Romney wins the presidency and the GOP control Congress come next January. What was his first clue.
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: According to their Facebook page, 699 people like the Hamilton County RINO Party. So how come it’s so hard to get volunteers to make phone calls?
- MEDIA MENDACITY: According to Scott Whitlock at “Newsbusters,” the same networks that hyped a “humiliating” “fiasco” leading up to the 2012 Olympic games have now turned around and mocked Republican “Mitt the Twit” Romney for pointing out the same thing. NBC’s Today, ABC’s Good Morning America and CBS This Morning all played up comments by the presidential candidate questioning “disconcerting” problems leading up to Friday’s opening ceremonies (the same problems they were previously pointing out).
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #217 says ask them to guess who said this: “The soundest way to raise revenues in the long run is to cut taxes now. The purpose of cutting taxes now is… to achieve the more prosperous, expanding economy which can bring a budget surplus.” Ronald Reagan? One of the Bushes? F. A. Hayek? Arthur Laffer? No, it was JFK.
- DELUSIONAL DEMOCRATS: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she believes Republican Jews are “being exploited.” Is that because if Jews don’t mindlessly vote DemocRAT, they’re being manipulated?
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: remind us they are less than one week away from their Five-Year Anniversary. They ask for reader ideas to help celebrate.
- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: Did The Blower happen to mention Skaggie Maggie is raising prices?
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Wednesday, the Chicago Teachers Union Chief blamed “lower-class” black students for their poor teaching record, and in our DemocRAT Voter Fraud Update, according to a two week sampling of voter registrations in Galveston County, Texas, 47% of all NAACP voter registrations were definably suspicious, if not fraudulent.
- LEGAL BRIEFS: Prosecutors on Friday released a text message that ex-Bun-Gals cheerleader and former teacher Sarah Jones allegedly sent to a former student she’s accused of having sex with. Special prosecutor Sara Farmer filed a motion in response to Jones’ attorney “Crazy Eric” Deters who claimed police “acted with reckless disregard for the truth” and that the case is based on false statements. Farmer is trying the case after our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney Rob Sanders recused himself from the case because after kicking “Crazy Eric’s” Ass all those times, The Robster decided to let somebody else have the fun this time.
- HOW ABOUT DEM REDS: Typical Reds’ Rooter Farley Fairweather says he plans to watch Dusty’s boys instead of the Olympics, as long as they’re still in first place.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Police Chief James Craig knew before he was hired last summer the state of Ohio would require him to take the state peace officer exam to earn full police powers. Craig even signed his name to a state document on July 13, 2011, indicating he understood the state requirement. Now Craig says he “misunderstood” the meaning of that state document. Does Craig have a learning problem, too?
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: The Fishwrap made a BFD about Discouraged DemocRAT Odd Todd Opportune’s vital testimony on sewers before a House subcommittee in Washington. There must;ve been 87 people in that group scheduled to “testify.” The Blower hopes Hamilton County Over-taxed Payers got their money’s worth.
- IN ANDERSON: Everybody’s waiting to see if Township Dis-Trustee Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien still actually entered the Anderson’s Got Talent competition doing his now famous “Choking the Chicken” Act. Cell phone photos would be most helpful.
- SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS: Are wondering when the folks at 8240 Clara Avenue will be having a big grand opening party for the new Romney Victory Center in Colerain? There’s something else the Hamilton County RINO Party forgot to publicize.
- OHIO’S SECOND CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT: This week, The Fishwrap couldn’t stop whining about the fact that our Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch would not agree to be interviewed. Do you think it’s because they always use the photograph with the most wrinkles?
- CLERMONT CRONIES: Our Clermont Crusader says that defamation lawsuit against former Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson has finally been settled. Terms of the settlement are not being disclosed and the parties “agreed to be bound by a confidentiality clause that has some punitive measures if it’s violated (especially to The Blower), especially the attorneys.
- THIS WEEK IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Northern Kentucky Tea Partiers planning to attend the Republican National Convention in Tampa will see some really high class entertainment. The Sarah Palin Lookalike Stripper will be there, and so will the Leftist Ladies from “Code Pink.” Their slogan is “Bring Your Vagina to the RNC.” What a “Family Values Event” this is going to be.
- READING THE TEA LEAVES: About 50 Tea Party Patriots showed up at the Northwest Tea Party meeting in Colerain Monday night. Sheriff candidate Jim O’Neil attended and passed out a campaign flyer that proudly stated on the front page: “Opposed SB5″ and “Opposed to Right to Work laws.” Maybe the geniuses running his campaign should advise him to leave the anti-free market union goon propaganda in the car the next time he tries to win the votes of patriotic right wingers.
- NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Summer still sweltering and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Summer Sports Summer is the time for sports So search for a lovely doll Who is yearning for some action And willing to play ball.
- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane who the thought was really behind that Chick-Fil-A controversy, where all those Liberal Whackos are trying to put that great chicken sandwich restaurant out of business. “My best guess,” Kane explained, “It’s the chickens.”
- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “99” days away.
Monday we’ll be going for the gold when we politicize the Olympics.
Tuesday is “Mutts Day” for all you mixed-race people to celebrate.
Wednesday is “Chick-Fil-A Day,” and all those whiny Liberals out there might just as well boycott the place, because with all the great publicity they’ve given those restaurants, they’ll be so packed, they’ll never be about to get near the place.
Thursday is “National Ice Cream Sandwich Day.” So It’ll be good eating this week.
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “How about a political Olympics event,” so give it your personal best.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.