Friday, July 20, 2012
But He Still Hasn’t Called Obama a “No Good Lying Bastard!”
- Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says with only “108” more days until the Presidential Elections, Conservatives are really enjoying Romney going more on the attack these days, especially in Bowling Green on Wednesday, when Mitt the Viking accused Obama yesterday of caring more about his own job security than about creating jobs for millions of unemployed Americans.
Meanwhile, the Onion reported Romney came clean and admitted he made $32 Trillion in 2006. [READ THAT STORY HERE]
- Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio Republican Party Chairman Boob Bennett issued the following statement upon Vice President Biden’s visit to Columbus: “Neither the latest campaign report released nor Biden’s visit will save the President from the reality that he hasn’t stood up to China for American manufacturing jobs. The fact remains that under Obama, our country’s manufacturing sector has lost half a million jobs and just last month U.S. manufacturing declined for the first time in three years.”
- And in Grove City, Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says Aroldis Chapman settled his speeding ticket for $150 and an autographed bobblehead doll. So what if the Reds’ closer was clocked at 93 mph? His slow curve is faster than that.
- Speaking of Bobbleheads, Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception has a commemorative of Jerry Springer and Obama on Monday, when the worst president in American history met with the most embarrassing elected official in Southwest Ohio history.
- Commenting on that item in Wednesday’s Blower about how Liz Roger’s Million Dollar Over-Taxed Payer Funded Soul Food Bistro at The Banks was just advertising for staff ten days before the restaurant was supposed to open, one of our Persons of Consequence pointed out that typically the food service industry doesn’t do drug tests, because they’d never be able to hire anyone if they did. Is that because most of those employees (kitchen, servers, bar, utility) are doing some kind of drugs and are not willing to get clean to take a test? Owners and managers know the deal. That’s what they have to contend with if they want to keep their doors open.
- Hurley the Historian says on this day in 1969, President Richard Nixon, along with millions of others, watched as American astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin walked on the moon. That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Nixon’s “For years politicians have promised the moon, I’m the first one to be able to deliver it.”
- Meanwhile, at the City Hall Circus, everybody was wondering who was picking up the tab for Cincinnati’s so-called Police Chief James Craig’s “I Don’t Wanna Take No Stinkin’ non-Phoenix On-line Test” Legal Team of David A. Pepper, Nathaniel Jones and Jason Groppe plus two law clerk flunkies who showed up at Thursday’s hearing.
Cincinnati police chief James Craig finally made the trip Thursday for the hearing he requested to exempt himself from taking the basic Ohio peace officer certification test. Craig had cancelled two previous hearings.
The peace officer certification board said they had no authority to change the law just for Craig. Craig’s lawyer has seven days to rebut this decision and then there are thirty days for the board to respond.
Craig hasn’t taken the required test, despite having seven full time police tutors. He seeks to be the first person in Ohio history to be exempted.
Did Craig really say it wasn’t in his job description to take the test? Didn’t his on-line college teach him anything? Also at yesterday’s hearing, the attorney for the Ohio Peace Officer Training Commission pointed out to the commission that she didn’t think the waiver Craig is requesting is even legal. No wonder Chief Craig’s attorneys requested time to respond to that. Should Craig’s attorneys have addressed that to begin with? No wonder we’ve never heard about David Pepper’s legal expertise as an attorney before.
- Metro Mole wonders if Skaggie Maggie really sent a letter to those all loyal folks who’d been forced to retire from The Fishwrap, saying in order for her to get her bonus this year, they would no longer be able to buy their newspapers (that were supposed to be free) at discount prices, and they would have to pay the same prices as everyone else, who by the way, just got a letter saying their prices were going up too.
- Earlier this week, the Hamilton County RINO Party announced it was teaming up with a local radio station to call attention to Obama’s high gasoline prices by selling gas for $1.84/gallon on Wednesday to the first 150 customers at a local gasoline station to be named later. And, in keeping with the follow-through we have all come to expect from “Old Blueface,” that’s the last thing we ever heard about that big idea.
- According to this July 17 photo of failed FCP$ Bored of Edjumacashun, President Evil Bolton, partying with failed FCP$ teachers, it doesn’t look like CPS really needs that tax levy to pass this November.
Fifty FCPS teachers traveled to Orlando, FL this week for a “conference” to learn how to become better teachers. How about sending 50 CPS administrators to a “conference” so they can learn how to be better administrators. Your $60,000 worth of tax dollars at work!
- Meanwhile, Angry Andersonians watching last night’s Trustees Meeting on Anderson Cable TV were wondering what Disgraced Township Trustee would do if he were forced to resign.
- Lame Duck Congresswoman “Junketing Jean” Schmidt procured a new flag for Hamersville (wherever the hell that is) recently and had some interesting words referencing the late Congressman Hamer: “Ladies and gentlemen, you had better believe there is hometown pride because 175 years ago you had a great man who represented you.” Do you think Rob “Fighting for Free Publicity” Portman got this line added to her speech, hoping people would think Jean has been crapping all over Congressman Hamer’s legacy, not Portman’s?
Of course, Hurley the Historian says every student Brown County knows Congressman Hamer appointed U.S. Grant to West Point.
- Who says our local Tea Partiers are asleep in 2012? Twice as many Patriots as expected laced up their boots and joined the cavalry at Tuesday night’s Anderson Tea Party Meeting.
- And here’s good news for Sheree Paolello fans. All is not lost. You can still see Channel 5 news on Direct TV in the waiting room of Beechmont Subaru.
- Republicans for Higher Taxes tell us we are only two weeks away from their Five Year Anniversary. Who thought back in 2007 that they would still be going strong today?
- And from the Great White North, that Mason kid who turned himself in for selling drugs, could be sent to Juvenile Prison for three years, time enough to get a FREE COLLEGE DEGREE from the over-taxed payers of Ohio.
- Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo really misses Lovely Lisa Wells on WLW Hate Radio. Where did she go?? As many of you know, 700 WLW replaced “Crazy Eric” Deters with Lisa Wells a year and half ago and while she was firing up the airwaves weekend after weekend, during the past month she has only co-hosted shows? Is it that Lisa openly criticized “Crazy Eric” and the all-powerful Bill Cunningham, Eric’s “close and personal friend?” Or were the Greedy Weasels just using her to demonstrate the appearance of diversify on their staff prior to re-licensing? And if they weren’t just being sexist, why’d Cunningham only post the top half of a photo of bikini-clad Lisa on his blog demanding she release the complete photo, for the entertainment of baloney boppers in his audience.
- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Obama’s ridiculous claim that successful businessmen didn’t succeed on their own.
“Obviously, Obama was either off his teleprompter or off his meds when he said something that stupid,” Kane explained.
There have only been about a million illustrations lampooning that little bit of Obama’s idiocy so far, including this one from our good friend Edward Cropper. [SEE MORE OF HIS FINE WORK HERE]
Stories We’re Working On
- Jobless claims surge…
- Foreclosure crisis hits older blacks, Hispanics hardest…
- Factory activity contracts…
- Home sales drop 5.4%, fewest since October…
- Suicide Bomber freed from GITMO…
- Another Green Energy goes bankrupt…
- Obama says, “Give me four more years!”
Whistleblower Web Poll
(A) It’s going to cost a freaking fortune: 2%
(B) Don’t want to pay medical care for 40 million illegal immigrants: 1%
(C) Their own doctors said they’d refuse to treat them: 1%
(D) If it’s not good enough for the Obamas or Members of Congress, the rest of us don’t want it either: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Thrill of Victory Centers
The winner is Commercial Real Estate Leasing Agent Coldwell Huff, who says with all that empty space in strip malls these days, presidential campaigns and other political groups are finding it’s cheaper to rent an empty storefront for a couple of months than it is to buy a billboard. Since most people have cell phones these days, temporary tenants can set up operations in minutes.
Coldwell wins an “I Rather Be Leasing” bumper sticker; a tank full of gas at that $1.84/ gallon station if the Hamilton County RINO Party ever announces where it is; and a complete list of Tea Party members, since they’re the only ones getting anything done these days, and they’re the ones most likely to be starting or expanding a business.
More Victory Centers were opened this week,
And modern day politics is not for the meek.
There’s mud to be slung, and lies to be told
While this class warfare crap is getting so old
No wonder the economy’s still weak
(The Obama’s odds have really turned bleak)
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “Has my poetic license expired?”)
More Victory Centers were opened this week
To help elect the President we seek
Be sure to tell yo’ mama
To vote for Mitt, not Obama
That arrogant, big-eared toothy freak.
Barack wants to ruin our nation
What he’s done so far is a clear indication
He lies about his roots
So let’s give him our boots
Kick him out, in reverse immigration.
He bounces down the steps of Air Force One
Like he’s the coolest thing under the sun,
Flashing and waving
I wish he’d fall on the paving
Wouldn’t that be something really fun?
He is worst of all of my peeves
I wish he’d buy a shirt that has sleeves
And I hope I never hear
Him say “Let me be clear”
It won’t be too soon when he leaves.
(If this last verse isn’t too stupid, you can use it too)
Being a laureate is really sweet,
But do you know what would make it more neat?
If I gave CFK five cents
Would he restore my poetic license?
To be in grace again would be a real treat!