Sunday, July 8, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama’s bus was welcomed to Ohio with a two-finger salute. That’s why besides June’s Dismal DemocRAT unemployment numbers, Obama was reduced to swilling IMPORTED beer and hitting on ugly overweight white women in seedy bars during his “Betting My Ass” bus tour. Another bar patron wanted Obama to arm wrestle him for his vote. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the owner of an Akron restaurant where Obama stopped for breakfast Friday morning died, apparently of a heart attack, shortly after meeting him. All of which reminds us of that old Henny Youngman joke: “Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.” Take the Obama campaign, please!
- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama attempted to spin his latest Dismal Jobs Report, and all he could come up with in an interview with WLWT-TV in Cincinnati is “I’ve tried real hard,” and that was only after he was roundly roasted for saying it was a “Step in the Right Direction” and Romney blasted Obama with “America Can Do Better And This Kick In The Gut Has Got To End.”
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was the Top Ten Excuses Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien gave for exposing himself and masturbating in a Wellborn woman’s car:
10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’ve never been in a penis lineup
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Excuse Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien gave for masturbating in a Wellborn woman’s car is… State Rep-tile Peter Stautberg and my other enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal promised nobody would ever find out.
Now Will He Resign?
- MONDAY in our Special “Focusing Like a Laser” E-dition, The Blower reported what ordinary americans think about repealing the ObamaTax.
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen reported only 30% of Likely U.S. Voters say America is better off today than it was four years ago. That doesn’t sound very optimistic, does it?
That’s why The Whistleblower rounded up some of our usual suspects. We found them praying for jobs at a candle-light vigil around the Peace Pole in Anderson Township Saturday evening.
We just had to find out what all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span ordinary people about Thursday’s Supreme Court decision that labeled Obama’s Orwellian-named “Affordable Health Care” a “Tax” which House Republicans plan to vote to repeal on July 11.
- TUESDAY in our Another “Bad Week for Obama” E-dition, The Blower predicted another eighteen to go and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
If Disingenuous DemocRATS think it’s bad to people to call their Unaffordable Health Care Legislation “ObamaCare,” think how bad it’ll be to hear it called a “Tax” for the next only “125” more days until the 2012 Presidential Elections. —Political Scorekeepers
In Monday’s E-dition, The Blower just had to find out what all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span ordinary people thought about last Thursday’s Supreme Court decision that labeled Obama’s Orwellian-named “Affordable Health Care” a “Tax” which House Republicans plan to vote to repeal on July 11. —Whistleblower Focus Groupies
The Supreme Court has ruled, and there’s only one way ObamaTax can be overturned. The same way it was passed — by electing a new president and a new Congress. Voters will have the final say on the Health Care Law, and it’s time for them to get up off their fat apathies and cast ballots not only for Romney, but in key congressional races where incumbents are facing challenges about handling of economy. —Republican Bloggers
All the Supreme Court has done in upholding Obama’s Destruction of Medical Care in America is to give another 100 million people to despise him and all he stands for. —Compassionate Conservatives
Besides getting a dead cat bounce in the polls after the Supreme Court ruled Obama’s Health Care Debacle is a “Tax,” Liberals just can’t stop whining about that new Harvard University study finds that July 4th parades energize only Republicans, turn kids into Republicans, and help to boost the GOP turnout of adults on Election Day. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
- WEDNESDAY in our Annual “Independence Day” E-dition, The Blower opined, “Politics may be the last refuge of a scoundrel, but it’s the first for a politician!”
Our Founding Fathers have been spinning in their graves watching what’s going on in Washington ever since Obama was elected.
And if they were alive today on the 236th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence’s adoption by the Continental Congress and saw how this nation has become a feckless flock of dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, politically-correct, celebrity-obsessed, uninformed government-dependent sheep, we wonder if they’d ever do it all again.
With that in mind, we were pleased once again to bring you our commentary on their sacrifice.
- THURSDAY, in our Official “Post-Holiday Stress Disorder” E-dition, The Blower asked if it wasn’t really eally “In-Dependence Day?”
Because now that the official Fourth of July holiday was finally over, The Blower could return to its customary eight-days-per-week schedule. Wednesday, when political insiders were sitting around the pool celebrating Independence Day at Charles Foster Kane’s estate, most members of the Conservative Agenda were asking if the other 364 days this year are still being called “Government Dependence Days” for all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, politically-correct, celebrity-obsessed, uninformed government-dependent sheeple who voted for Obama, since Dependence on the Government is at an all time high during this summer of our discontent, especially after Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen said even if 74% know July Fourth celebrates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, 60% say Americans are worse off today than before Obama took Office, and 41% didn’t even know the Supreme Court had just ruled on our ObamaTax.
- FRIDAY in our Special “Heat Alert” E-dition, The Blower advised you not to stand too close to a politician.
Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says the heat wave came to Ohio yesterday when we saw dueling bus tours in the northern part of the state. Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign featured Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty aboard the Romney bus in Maumee, Parma, and the Mahoning Valley, one step ahead of Obama, whose own “Betting on America” bus tour was scheduled to hit those same three areas.
Do you think anybody will be asking Obama about that lawsuit Ohio private investigator Susan Daniels filed on Monday, July 2, in Geauga County (Ohio) Common Pleas Court demanding that Jon Husted, Ohio secretary of state, remove Obama’s name from the ballot until Obama can prove the validity of his Social Security Number?
AND new ad from the Republican National Committee was another warm greeting for Obama. Watching the Romney campaign is going to be a lot of fun, like when the Marine Corps Band played Romney’s Campaign Song on the White House Lawn while Obama greeted guests.
Hurley the Historian says President George W. Bush was born on this date 66 years ago in 1946, and today the RNC (RINO National Committee) says the best way for the nation to show how much they really miss him would be for every person in America to send them $66.
- SATURDAY in our Special “Bad News Bearers” E-dition, The Blower asked, “How’s all that hopey changey stuff working out for ya?”
Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says headlines on the Drudge Report were all you needed to know about how bad the economic news was for Obama Friday morning. Only 80,000 jobs were added in June, and one third of those were at temporary employment agencies. 85,000 more workers went on disability. The unemployment rate was stuck at 8.2%. It was the forty-first straight month above 8%. It was 11% for Hispanics and 14.4% for blacks. Team Obama had predicted 5.6% today if only their stimulus bill would be passed back in 2009. 780,000 fewer women are employed under Obama, and he wants them all to believe it’s the Republicans who are waging war on women. The White House still says, “No quick fixes, at least it’s a step in the right direction.” Romney says, “It doesn’t have to be this way.” Anxiety is mounting as the economy limps into second half. Stocks plunge. And Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says only 31% of likely voters believe Obama is doing a good or excellent job handling economic issues.
That’s why with those dreadful unemployment numbers, Obama was reduced to swilling IMPORTED beer and hitting on ugly overweight white women in seedy bars during his “Betting My Ass” bus tour in Northern Ohio. Another bar patron wanted Obama to arm wrestle him for his vote.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
- OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say on Friday, Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their local e-mail list, trying to scare people into donating after Romney’s $100 Million June Fundraising Haul. Of course the Obama campaign fails to mention the pro-Obama Super PACs are outspending those run by Romney supporters two to one.
- REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus reports the Romney Campaign doesn’t really need a plan to win. All they really have to do is to see watch what’s happening, see what Obama and the Dysfunctional DemocRATS say, then kick them in the balls. Recently, it seems to be working.
- OHIO RINO PARTY: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chef Gerry Manders says according to the Ohio GOP, as hundreds of paid circulators rush to complete their work for the proposed Constitutional Amendment on redistricting reform, it appears that in some cases fraudulent tactics were used to persuade citizens to sign petitions. A video taken on July 3 in Cleveland in Shaker Square catches the circulator advising a signer to go ahead and sign a second time, for the signer’s brother who was not present.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says most Americans took time off this past week to celebrate the nation’s birth. 77%) watched fireworks, 62% enjoyed a cookout, and 33% sang patriotic songs. They did so largely because 84% are proud to be Americans.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Craig Ferguson’s “When you join the witness protection program the government usually gives you a fake birth certificate, like they did for President Obama.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1776, the Liberty Bell rang out in Philadelphia from the tower of the Pennsylvania State House (now known as Independence Hall), summoning citizens to the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence. But why did the inscription on the bell read “Pensylvania?” Maybe Thomas Jefferson needed a spellchecker.
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose Mark Twain’s “Why, there isn’t a man who doesn’t have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can’t spell them! It’s like trying to do a St. Vitus dance with wooden legs.”
- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: The hits just keep coming when it comes to DemocRATS and voter fraud. Someone with a hidden camera picked up several ballots for New Hampshire’s DemocRAT Presidential primary using the names of dead voters. Several Indiana DemocRATS were indicted for voter fraud committed during the 2008 elections. The fraudulent voter petitions were central to getting then-Senator Obama on the ballot for the Indiana primary. And in New York two Democrats are on trial for voter fraud committed during a 2009 local election.
- THUGS ‘R US: Obama’s paid union goons got some media attention when they provoked a reaction among some Romney supporters at a stop on Romney’s bus tour in Parma, Ohio. The Liberty Council’s Tom Zawistowski even wussed out with an apology. Maybe the Romney campaign shouldn’t let everybody attend their rallies. Team Obama actually makes people register in advance and show their photo IDs.
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: This week the party and its allies have sent another 22 e-mails urging supporters to be at Saturday’s Buckeye RINO Blitz, but everybody was wondering where Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP would be.
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Tim Graham at Newsbusters says Time Magazine was so overwhelmingly thrilled with John Roberts’ upholding ObamaCare that it put Roberts on the cover with the title “Roberts Rules,” touting his “landmark decision.” By contrast, the Congress vote to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt for failing to deliver documents on the “Fast & Furious” program drew two dismissive paragraphs.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #190, says you should tell a joke:
Q: What do you get when you offer a liberal a penny for his thoughts?
- DELUSIONAL DEMOCRATS: DNC Spokeswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz says, “Under Obama’s Leavership, “We were able to turn this economy around. No Kidding!
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: turned up the heat on Congressman Steve Chabothead for his amendment prohibiting federal funds to the Cincinnati streetcar. They believe only Cincinnati residents can comment on the streetcar, but that everyone should be required to pay for it. One Cincinnati not happy with Chabot’s action is long-time streetcar supporter Sean Donovan.
- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: Did anybody notice in all that Independence Day coverage, our Flag-waving Fishwrappers were still trying to sell you the Liberal notion that the thing which makes America great is its “Diversity.”
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Last week, Race Baters in Congress were on a holiday break, but they’ll be back in full force as soon as House Republicans start debating repealing ObamaTax next week.
- LEGAL BRIEFS: Federal Judge Mike Barrett says he’ll have to recuse himself from hearing any appeal on Kevin’s O’Brien’s landmark masturbation case, but he did not refuse to be called as an expert witness.
- HOW ABOUT DEM REDS: Typical Revolting Reds’ Rooter Farley Fairweather the best part of the Reds West Coast Road Trip is not having to watch the games because they games start so late.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Uncertified Cincinnati police chief James Craig is all hot and bothered about another scheduled hearing before the Ohio police certification board on July 19. Craig weaseled out of the first two hearings where he planned to make demands to be exempted from the basic State police certification exam just because he’s James Craig. What do you want to bet Craig will weasel out of this third hearing this month?
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: Hamilton County Commissioner Odd Todd Opportune said emergency management bosses decided to skip the test during the World Choir Games, because our international guests wouldn’t have understood what they meant. The Blower guesses most of the Third World visitors would’ve assumed it was a signal to begin a riot.
- IN ANDERSON: How dare WLW Hate Radio’s Darryl Parks make jokes on the air about Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien for masturbating in a woman’s car. That’s The Blower’s job!
- SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS: wonder when The Blower plans to show pictures of the penis lineup where Kevin was identified.
- OHIO’S SECOND CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT: Clermont Cronies say it was no coincidence that somebody made a video of “Junketing Jean” Schmidt’s “When Harry Met Sally” impersonation when she was caught wildly cheering for the ObamaTax victory, especially after The Blower first suggested it.
- READING THE TEA LEAVES: Our Friends at the Anderson Tea Party are really excited that “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup will be opening his victory in Eastgate at noon on Monday, although the Congressman’s campaign mangler might have picked a more convenient time for people who work.
- NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Summer is well under way and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Ah, the Summertime, the Summertime
With nature’s own sweet song.
And an errant breeze to show us,
Who’s wearing a flimsy thong.
- THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders gnarly e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now. This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court is full of some serious ugly mugs! Just get a gander at convicted meth-head Anthony Martin or heroin junkie Kayla Creech! If these two aren’t enough to make a person “Just Say No!” then who is?!
- ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says The Blower should be the honor of naming that new road in Boondoggle County, given all the free publicity Judge Once Moore has received in his successful and unsuccessful attempts at election time. This road should not be named after Ted Bushelman, because once the people in Boondoggle County find out about the horse-trading Judge Once Moore did to secure this airport property to construct this road, poor Ted’s name will be shot.
- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane his reaction to Obama’s claim about Friday’s crappy jobs report, when Obama claimed it was is “a step in the right direction.”
“That was one giant step for mankind,” Kane explained. “At this rate it’ll only take 297 years to get back the 25 million jobs Obama lost.”
- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “120” days away.
Monday will be our Weekly “Below the Beltway” E-dition, where low blows have always been our specialty.
Tuesday is “Baseball’s All Star Game,” and the winning league gets home field advantage in this year’s World Series, not that it’ll matter to a Reds fan
Wednesday is when House Republicans plan to vote to Repeal the ObamaTax, and Obama Supporters will really be complaining.
Thursday is “Different Colored Eyes Day,” which should be a front page story in The Fishwrap, since it celebrates diversity of eye color.
The first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “Kevin O’Brien, Anderson’s Masturbating Trustee,” and some of you limerick writers might like to take a whack at that.
And Saturday is “Bastille Day,” and you know how we always like to celebrate that date.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
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