Daily Archives: July 7, 2012

Special “Bad News Bearers” E-dition

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Another Month, Another Crappy Obama Jobs Report!

  • Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says headlines on the Drudge Report were all you needed to know about how bad the economic news was for Obama Friday morning. Only 80,000 jobs were added in June, and one third of those were at temporary employment agencies. 85,000 more workers went on disability. The unemployment rate was stuck at 8.2%, 11% for Hispanics and 14.4% for blacks. Team Obama had predicted 5.6% today if only their stimulus bill would be passed back in 2009. 780,000 fewer women are employed under Obama, and he wants them all to believe it’s the Republicans who are waging war on women. The White House still says, “No quick fixes, at least it’s a step in the right direction.” Romney says, “It doesn’t have to be this way.” Anxiety is mounting as the economy limps into second half. Stocks plunge. And Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says only 31% of likely voters believe Obama is doing a good or excellent job handling economic issues.

That’s why with those dreadful unemployment numbers, Obama was reduced to swilling IMPORTED beer and hitting on ugly overweight white women in seedy bars during his “Betting My Ass” bus tour in Northern Ohio. Another bar patron wanted Obama to arm wrestle him for his vote. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the owner of an Akron restaurant where Obama stopped for breakfast Friday morning died, apparently of a heart attack, shortly after meeting him.

  • Meanwhile, Obama’s paid union goons got some media attention when they provoked a reaction among some Romney supporters at a stop on Romney’s bus tour in Parma, Ohio. The Liberty Council’s Tom Zawistowski even wussed out with an apology. Maybe the Romney campaign shouldn’t let everybody attend their rallies. Team Obama makes people register in advance and show their photo IDs.
  • Two weeks ago Hamilton County RINO Party Chairman Alex TryinToFoolYou caused quite a stir among GOP hacktivists when he spent Saturday morning shopping at Findlay Market, after the RINO Party sent four emails that week asking everyone to show up to the party’s door-to-door effort.  That’s not what we call leading by example, but we bet lots of DemocRATS would recognize it as a prime example of leading from behind.
  • This week the party and its allies have sent another 22 emails urging supporters to be at this Saturday’s Buckeye RINO Blitz.  So where will Alex be?  Republicans for Higher Taxes say they will be joining Mr. T – who will once again be at Findlay Market shopping, eating, and chilling out while everyone else does the work.
  • Is “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign mangler also handling the Congressman’s Facebook page? That’s the only reason The Blower could imagine for this to be one of the photos.
  • A Cunningham Caller says with 14,000 Choir Games people in town. You’d think it would be impossible to get a room at a Fountain Square hotel. But guess what— as Yogi Berra might say, they are full of vacancies. A Miami University bus picked up a choir at GVG on Saturday and is probably housing them in cheap dorms. Didn’t Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’ get promises that if the City forked over all that money, choirs would at least stay in hotels downtown? Looks like they weren’t any more trustworthy than Laure is.
  • Hamilton County Commissioner Odd Todd Opportune said emergency management bosses decided to skip the test during the World Choir Games, because our international guests wouldn’t have understood what they meant. The Blower guesses most of the Third World visitors would’ve assumed it was a signal to begin a riot.
  • Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall wonders why the Reds aren’t allowed to take batting practice during their West Coast road trip.
  • Protesters at Washington Park’s grand opening on Friday were mad the City didn’t install a real pool and the poor people won’t feel like hanging out because they have security cameras everywhere.

The answer to “You can’t learn to swim in a spray ground” is “You can’t drown in a spray ground.” You can’t jump the fences after a pool closes, you don’t need life guards and you don’t have the expensive repairs needed to keep a pool open. The best excuse for a spray ground is it’s easier to flush bodily waste down a drain, on a spray ground, than to drain a 20,000 gallon pool full of turds!

  • Angry Andersonians (including WLW Hate Radio’s Darryl Parks) are still wondering why the Forest Hills Urinal didn’t update the story about Disgraced Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s arrest for masturbating in a woman’s car, when Whacky Jackie’s illegitimate son appeared at the penis lineup on Thursday. Maybe Kevin’s Enablers in the Press were also ignoring why GOP State Rep-tile Peter Stautberg is also covering up for Kevin, especially after the last election when Stautberg’s opponent, “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman announced his proposal to change state law that would allow voters to recall a township trustee.
  • In Clermont County, “Junketing Jean” Schmidt’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman says our lame duck Congresswoman wasn’t really hammered at this event back in April. It just looks like it.
  • Hurley the Historian says the first U.S. troops were withdrawn from South Vietnam on this date in 1969, and in Washington Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid will be holding a press conference on the Capitol steps to blame George W. Bush.
  • Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says at least one person in Northern Kentucky might have been paying attention to The Blower’s comparison between Obama’s Fast and Furious Cover-up and Watergate two weeks ago. Do you think that’s where Rick “The BatBoy Robinson got the idea for his “Fast and Furious versus Watergate” item in The Daily Caller?
  • Finally, with only “121” more days until this year’s elections, at this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane his reaction to Obama’s claim about Friday’s crappy jobs report, when Obama claimed it was is “a step in the right direction.”  

“That was one giant step for mankind,” Kane explained. “At this rate it’ll only take 297 years to get back the 25 million jobs Obama lost.”

Maybe that’s why we chose Edward Heath’s “Unemployment is of vital importance, particularly to the unemployed.”


 OBAMA UNEMPLOYMENT LINE

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Some unemployed items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally unemployed Whistleblower Subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.  


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Economic Turnaround?

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