Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was Tuesday night when Republican 2012 Presidential Contender Mitt Romney went five for five in this week’s GOP primaries. Noted New Hampshire Political Reporter Manchester Tadwell said the former Massachusetts governor may only have 755 of the 1,144 delegates needed for the Republican Party Nomination, but the GOP Primaries have really been “over” for weeks. No wonder Romney was zinging Obama with Reagan one-liners Tuesday night. Meanwhile, Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen says he’s not getting so many calls from the TV Networks to speak on behalf of Newt Gingrich these days.
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 87% think the media is more interested in “Candidate Controversy” than important issues. Now where would so many people ever get an idea like that?
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1984, Ronald Reagan visited Communist China. Today, Obama and Congress continue to increase your grandchildren’s indebtedness to Beijing. Have you checked our “Debt Clock” lately?
- OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus said, “It finally happened. Somebody actually complained that Obama was using over-taxed payers’ funds for fund-raising and campaigning.” Even some Obama Supporters in the Press were starting to notice. The Blower’s only been telling you that since Obama’s 2012 Re-election Campaign Kickoff at his 2009 Inauguration.
How bad has it become lately? GOP House Speaker John Boehner even called on Obama’s campaign to reimburse over-taxed payers for the cost of a campaign-style trip to battleground states, accusing the White House of a “pathetic” attempt to stir up an election-year fight over student loans.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was a when the White House “pardoned itself” for spending all that over-taxed payers’ money for Obama’s vacations, campaigning, and fund-raising.
Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus said these days everybody’s also talking about that paltry $467,585 over-taxed payers borrowed to pay for Michelle’s vacation to Spain last year. Edward Cropper calls her “Just a Typical American Tourist.” Maybe even Blue-collar DemoRAT voters in swing states, stuck taking depressing “stay-cations” because they can’t afford gas and hotels, are finally becoming resentful of the first family’s 17 lavish vacations around the world and don’t want to borrow more money from the Chinese, just to pay for the Obamas’ holidays. The Blower’s only been complaining about that for the past three years.
Speaking of the Obamas’ outrageous “Traveling Expenses,” at Thursday’s press conference, GOP House Speaker John Boehner took the White House to task for campaigning on over-taxed payers’ dime – at a cost of $179,000 per hour on Air Force One – and trying to manufacture a fight with Congress over an issue (keeping student loan rates low) that both parties are working on. “The president keeps attempting to create these fake fights because he doesn’t have a record of success or a positive agenda for the country,” Boehner said. “It’s as simple as this: The emperor has no clothes.” But Michelle is making sure you can’t say that about the Empress.
And White House press secretary Jay Cardboard was hammered by ABC News’ Jake Tapper to explain the difference between “official events” and “campaign events” when it comes to Obama using federal money to fly around on Air Force One.
Let’s face it: if over-taxed payers are just now getting upset because they’re paying for the Obama’s lavish lifestyles, just think how much of their money Obama’s re-election campaign is costing them. Obama’s “Billion Dollar Re-election” isn’t how much money he’s trying to raise for lying TV ads. It’s how much it’s costing over-taxed payers for Obama to hop on Air Force One for his daily campaigning and fund-raising.
- MONDAY in our Special “Tweets to the Tweets” E-dition, The Blower said, “All that Twitters is not gold!” and we published “Great Tweets in History”:
At last weekend’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he thought The Blower had violated its long-standing “Just Say ‘Hell No’ to Social Networking” Principles (you can read any time on our “Policies and Disclaimers” page), just because he planned to accept “Real Tweets from Real Twits” in Tuesday’s e-dition.
“Actually, as any graduate of the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools can tell you, Tweeting is right there in the Declaration of Independence,” Kane explained, because Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Tweets.”
- TUESDAY in our Special “Anti-Social Media” E-dition, The Blower A Winner never Twits and a Twitter never wins! and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
If you want to see what this nation has really become during the “Age of Obama,” just look at the twaddle people are Tweeting to each other these days. —Stunned Sociologists
We’re all Tweeting more but actually communicating less. —Ordinary Dumbed-down, Self-absorbed, Media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span People
Look what happened when we started sending each other e-mails. —Lazy Letter Writers
And just look at how Tweets are replacing meaningful dialogue. —Gifted Conversationalists
You won’t believe how many “Friends” we have. —The Whistleblower Faux FaceBook Page
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Phony Job Titles” E-dition, The Blower asked what’s so bad about being a secretary anyway and we wished all the gals a “Happy Secretary’s Day.”:
Oh, so we’re not calling it “Secretary’s Day” anymore. We’re supposed to say “Administrative Professionals Day,” so you little ladies can feel better about your hum drum jobs. Now would you mind getting us a cup of coffee?
Hurley the Historian says this made-up holiday was created in 1952 by a Young and Rubicam advertising executive who found a way to give his secretary something that didn’t cost money.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Barry Goldwater’s “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, that’s fine!” Is that some Compassionate Conservatism or what!
Male Chauvinist Employers of America explain why they changed the name of today’s “Secretary’s Day” holiday to “Administrative Professionals Day.” It was cheaper than giving the gals a raise.
The Unemployment Office says tomorrow on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day during the Obama Recession,” you can always bring her here.
- THURSDAY, in our Annual Take Your Daughter to Work Day” E-dition, The Blower asked, “But what if your mom’s a hooker?”:
And at Thursday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” is always the day after “Secretary’s Day.” “Who do you think gets to watch the kids when the boss brings them to work?” Kane explained.
Our Good Friend Bobby Leach remembers when he brought his daughter back home after “Take Your Daughter to Work Day.” The little girl said, “Daddy, why do you call your assistant a doll?” Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, Bobby said, “Well, honey, it’s a term of affection. She’s very hard-working, and Daddy appreciates her efficiency.” “Oh,” said Bobby’s little girl, “I thought it was because she closed her eyes and said ‘mama’ every time you laid her across your desk.”
Our Quote for Today Committee chose Wendy Spero’s “My mom’s a sex therapist. On Take Your Daughter to Work Day, I hooked up with two guys.”
- FRIDAY in our Special “Campaign Funding Abuse” E-dition, The Blower asked if the White House would clear itself of these charges too and the Whistleblower Web Poll told us what people were thinking:
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said was Obama’s biggest problem these days:
(A) Economy’s still in the crapper: 2%
(B) Gas prices still more than doubled since he took office: 1%
(C) A new scandal every week: 1%
(D) Can find enough time for fund-raising and campaigning: 96%
- SATURDAY in our Special “Presidential Travel” E-dition, The Blower asked how much do you think Obama’s Re-election campaign is costing:
And hereabouts, Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose received a spam-gram from Obama’s Re-election Campaign at the White House. This one was supposed to be from Michelle selling chances for dinner with Obama and George Clooney on May 10. Meanwhile, the audience at New York University snickered when Vice President Joe Biden bragged “Obama ‘Has A Big Stick. I Promise You’.” Biden’s double entendres are always good for a laugh.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
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- REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says a dramatic difference in the 2012 GOP Presidential Campaign is “Romney’s Rapid Response.” So far Romney’s team has been very nimble and successful at pushing back against some of the manufactured attacks coming from Obama. No wonder the GOP is now following Romney’s lead in parrying Disingenuous DemocRATS.
- VOTER FRAUD: As The Blower predicted, Hamilton County Republicans got another kick in the balls this week after Clintonista Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley finally said it was OK to count those votes so Disgruntled DemocRAT Tracie Hunter could steal Judge John Williams’ Juvenile Court seat that he won fair and square in November 2010.
- OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say this weekend, the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their local e-mail list trying to turn out volunteers to register dead voters in Madisonville.
- DIRT-DIGGING DEMOCRATS: Friends of Ohio U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Frocks” Portman can’t figure out why he’s so unacceptable as a vice presidential candidate. Maybe this picture of The Robmeister in a frumpy housedress will give you a clue.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “Newt Gingrich is going to announce next week that he is dropping out of the presidential race. If you wonder why he’s waiting, it’s because it takes him that long to gather a crowd.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says despite media fixation on the “scream of the week,” most Americans remain focused on the essentials, and their views on them are consistent over time, even if the Political Class continues to ignore them.
- MEDIA MENDACITY: “There is no slur against conservatives that’s off the table” for the so-called journalists at PMSNBC, NewsBusters publisher Brent Bozell told Sean Hannity Thursday night. The Media Research Center president made that remark after viewing a clip of “Hardball” host Chris Matthews calling the GOP the “Grand Wizard Crowd,” a not-so-thinly veiled suggestion that conservatives are violent racists.
- OHIO RINO PARTY: Everything seems to be quiet at Ohio RINO Party Headquarters this week. Don’t they know Obama and Michelle will be back at the Schottenstein Center at Ohio State for a big rally on May 5?
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #248 says just as you called all your friends on Hitler’s Birthday last week, make sure you call them on Monday and remind them of his untimely death.
- SEX IN SCHOOLS: Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel is busy checking out an e-mail that was forwarded from somebody named Tommy Hamer claiming a Superintendent of a local School District is having an affair with the husband of one of her administrative team members. Tommy also suggests the woman went on a cruise during Spring break with a married man. Tommy says he would not make this up to smear the woman or take the chance of being sued. He’s doing it for the children. Do you think it’s possible that “Tommy Hamer” is not the person’s real name?
- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says Wedgie Washburn announced Dave Holthaus will be taking over Skaggie Maggie’s Rubber Stamp Idiotorial Page in a couple of weeks to replace Ray Cooklis, as if it really matters.
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: People are still wondering what Blue-faced Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP will do if Ditzy DemocRAT Judge Traci Hunter survives after all the ballots are automatically recounted on May 7. Will he really continue to fight Judge Mr$ $tan Che$ley’s ruling in the appeals courts?
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: Continue to mourn the quick defeat of the “Arts Tax” which would have raised Hamilton County’s Sales Tax. They condemn the County Commissioners for killing it and whine about how unfair it is when they endorse a tax increase only to see it killed a few days later, or even worse, defeated by the voters.
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: our Redneck Republican says Liberals at Media Matters can’t stop whining that “Accusing others of Playing ‘The Race Card’ does nothing to advance the dialogue about improving race relations. Of course, neither does playing the race card in the first place.
Locally, here’s a real break from local tradition: the mayor is black, the faux chief of police is black, the city manager is black, most members of city clown-cil are black, the Bungals’ coach is black, and drum roll…….the new maestro of the Cincinnati Symphony is a non-black Frenchie. And they wonder why blacks don’t attend the symphony!!
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Cincinnati city clown-cil held a special meeting Monday about reducing black-on-black violence. Does this mean they think it’s OK to have black-on-white violence?
To reduce black-on-black crime, Cincinnati Cynic Tino Delgato says the new Four Star Police Chief and grandstanding Clown-sale members should move to these troublesome neighborhoods. After all, they were elected by their “constituents.” Shouldn’t they live with them? That way, they could learn first hand what the problems are. Hopefully, by then, the new police chief will have passed his State exam. Do you have to take the test to pass it? Go Figure!!!
Tino also says, Chief Craig is in a TV commercial for the (on line) University of Phoenix. Maybe that fake school doesn’t even give fake tests. That commercial fails to mention Craig has yet to pass the Ohio policemen’s test Go Figure that too!!!
- FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Bob and Doug McKenzie report rumors more McMason School Sex, after school officials in Mason sent a letter sent home to parents saying two staff members, including a teacher, were placed on administrative leave Monday, and the talk around town is that they were caught doing the nasty at Mason High School.
- IN ANDERSON: Did all that rain ruin the Saturday Morning Market on Five Mile, which was offering some fresh Spring produce organized by the Anderson Asparagus Growers Association. Someone asked if the rain hurt the rhubarb, and one of the organizers said, “Not when it came in cans.”
- READING THE TEA LEAVES: The Cincinnati Tea Party was really touting Saturday’s book-signing by frequent FOX news contributor Deneen Borelli, who will be speaking and signing copies of her new book, “Blacklash, How Obama and the Left are Driving Americans to the Government Plantation.” And all those Liberals keep telling us how Tea Partiers don’t like black people.
- NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the warm spring weather, we found this in his “Tulips and Trollops,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Salute to Style”
The pants today are worn so low
It makes you really wonder
If she wants to tell you
She’s wearing nothing under.
- HOW ABOUT THEM REDS?: This week, everybody who’s wondering if the Reds will get their money’s worth for all those big salaries this year, e-mailed his entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner was Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather, who says, “Joey Votto only has one home run, he struck out to end the game Thursday afternoon, and the Reds have only paid him $2 million so far this year.”
Farley wins a ride in Joey Votto’s sports car, a Tweet from Brandon Phillips, and a shoplifting spree with Mike Leake. His winning limerick is:
Here’s what happened to the Reds this year: Ol’ Toothpick has lost his magic, I fear. Aside from Joey’s million-dollar at-bat$, They play like they don’t give a rat’s. These money-ballers spend too much time with the cashier.
- WHO DRE: check out the dreadlocks on the Bungals’ number one instant millionaire NFL draft pick, Dre Kirkpatrick.
Troublemaking Tailgater Tino Delgato says during the NFL draft, it gets a little old watching the green room where all the prospects are seated. Many draftees have their “extended” family, illegitimate children, sycophant entourage of supposed friends, girlfriend de jour and of course their agent. They must hug EACH of them for the cameras before going out to the stage. Why not hug AHEAD of time and put the draftees in a room with Mom, Dad, and a wife and without these future parasites. Go Figure!!!
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says when they draft a new player and sign him, the person needs to be measured for his uniform, right? Why not share those measurements with the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office to save time when the inevitable arrest and booking occurs? Semper Si and Deputy Dog Donovan would be wise to hang on to their Bungal-size gear for the next player-felon to come along.
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo with only 23 more days until the May 22 GOP Congressional Primaries, former U.S. Senator “BeanBall Jim” Bunning now says he regrets endorsing his successor Rand Paul. But that was only after the Randster endorsed Tea Party Favorite Thomas Massie to succeed retiring Congressman Goof Doofus, instead of our Former Hall of Famer’s pick, Trooper Babe Alecia Webb-Edgington. You can ask Senator Paul about it on Monday at 5 PM when he appears at the League of Kentucky Property Owners free League of Kentucky Property Owners event at the Boondoggle County Extension Office. [Register here for your free ticket.]
Also on Monday, a representative of the Taliaferro, Carran & Keys law firm will present the results of an investigation of Mayor Martin requested by a majority of Vanilla Hills City Council. The lynching is scheduled for immediately after that meeting.
- THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders outrageously hilarious e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now. This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court is chock full of scum bags, ho bags, and dope boys some of whom are just all too happy to be going to prison! Wait till she finds out there’s no Obama-phones behind bars!
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1992, riots erupted in Los Angeles when those police officers were acquitted after being caught on tape beating the bejesus out of Rodney King. Were those the good old days or what!
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose Rodney’s “Can’t we all… just… get along?”
- CFK-TV: Over at Anderson Community Television, our CFK production crew wonders if Disgraced Dis-Trustee Kevin O’Brien is trying to sell enough tickets to the Anderson Township Republican Club’s “Kevin O’Brien Celebrity Roast” so he can earn enough money to pay his alimony, property taxes, and the settlement Judge Nadel says he still owes Baird & Company.
- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how much it was costing over-taxed payers for Obama to use Air Force One for his re-election campaigning and fundraising.
“What if Obama removed the American flag from the tail fin and replaced it with his campaign logo?” Kane asked. “Do you think anybody would notice?”
- HOW SPECIAL IS TODAY: April 29 is “Greenery Day.” Japanese Greenery Day celebrates the birthday of Japanese Emperor Hirohito. In Japanese culture, Greenery day is a time to commune with nature and to be thankful and appreciative of its abundance. On Greenery Day, our good friend Bobby Leach always celebrates nature by taking a tramp in the woods.
April 29 is also National Shrimp Scampi Day Whistleblower Freebie Gourmet says you probably already figured our how to celebrate it.
- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “190” days away and the Bluegrass primary in May 22 is 23 days away.
Monday is National Honesty Day. Do you think there’s any way to tie that into politics?
Tuesday you’ll be reading “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” and somebody will be commenting on “Loyalty,” “Mother Goose,” and “Saving the RINOs.”
Wednesday it’ll be “Baby Day” and “Brothers and Sisters Day.” We’re sure we can work in a few “Racial Healing” references there.
Thursday, will be “World Press Freedom Day,” which recognizes the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalists have made to attain this freedom. The Whistleblower will no doubt be giving itself some sort of award on that day.
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “Here’s how to have fun on Cinco de Mayo.” If you’re on a diet, you can hold the Mayo.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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