Monday, April 23, 2012
Great Tweets in History
At this weekend’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he thought The Blower had violated its long-standing “Just Say ‘Hell No’ to Social Networking” Principles (you can read any time on our “Policies and Disclaimers” page), just because he planned to accept “Real Tweets from Real Twits” in Tuesday’s e-dition.
- “Actually, as any graduate of the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools can tell you, Tweeting is right there in the Declaration of Independence,” Kane explained, because Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Tweets.”
- And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and Tweets for all.”
- Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me a Tweet or give me a death?”
- Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one Tweet to give to my Country.”
- John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun to Tweet.”
- George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. I really like Tweets.”
- Samuel Adams said, “Someday they’ll name a beer after me, and when they do, they’ll send you a Tweet to let you know.”
- Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and many Tweets.”
- At Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they Tweeted here.”
- William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell– without Tweets.”
- George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all those Tweets come from?”
- Woodrow Wilson said, “The world must be made safe for Tweets.”
- Will Rogers said, “I never met a Tweet I didn’t like.”
- General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for his Tweet. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his Tweet.”
- FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but Tweets.”
- Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return– for a Tweet.”
- Harry Truman said, “The Tweet stops here.”
- Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “I think that people want Tweeting so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.”
- Albert Einstein said, “”The hardest thing in the world to understand is a Tweet.”
- Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about Tweets.”
- John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your Tweets.”
- Neil Armstrong said, “A small step for man, one giant step for Tweets.
- Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of Tweets is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of Tweets is no virtue.”
- Vince Lombardi said, “Tweeting isn’t everything.”
- Ronald Reagan said, “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin Tweeting in five minutes.”
- John Wayne said, “Sure Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they sent you a Tweet to tell you they’ll have the dinner ready when you get home.”
- Rev. Martin Luther King said, “I had Tweet.”
- Bill Clinton said, “I did not Tweet with that woman.”
- Charlton Heston said, “Let my people Tweet.”
- At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless the Tweets.”
- George W. Bush said, “Tweets Accomplished.”
- And not to be outdone, Obama now insists that rich people pay their fair share of “Tweets.”
Now to show you what Tweeting has become these days, here are a few Twitters we received about this recent news item.
FAMOUS TWEET QUOTES HOT LINE
Tweet us your favorites today.
Some Twittering Nabobs items in today’s Blower were sent in by our Twittering Nabob subscribers.
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