Saturday, March 10, 2012
But The Republican 2012 Campaign Continues
- In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says there are still “240” more days until the November Elections, and with all that hype from Super Duper Tuesday’s Primaries subsiding, everybody’s realizing our election results in Ohio didn’t really settle anything at all. Mitt Romney still needs 732 more delegates on the Old GOP Delegate Counter; today there are caucuses in Kansas, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam, and the North Mariana Islands; and Tuesday there will be primaries in Alabama and Mississippi with more caucuses in Hawaii and American Samoa.
- The Biggest Local Losers had to be the Maggie/Che$ley/Cunningham Axis of Evil when that Defeated Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt finally got what she deserved. Mean Jean’s Furloughed Fishwrapper Flack Barrett Brunsman, along with Barry Bennett and Joe Jansen running her campaign also deserve to share in the credit.
- Second was the once relevant COAST, for “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman’s latest campaign debacle. The only candidates who did worse were Queen Nobel (who got 7% of the vote against Jim Berns in the Ohio First District Congressional race on the Looney Libertarian ticket) and Ron Paul, whose robots blogged and Facebooked their way to a fourth place finish.
Tom’s first official act was supposed to be introducing legislation that would have allowed townships to get rid of incompetents and crooks the voters had misguidedly elected. You know House Lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg won’t ever let that happen.
- Some nobodies our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press describe as “winners” just set themselves up to be big losers in November, including the Unknown DemocRATS about to take on Chabot and Wenstrup in November, and Springfield Township Trustee Tom Bryan, who just “won” the right to have his ass handed to him by Stevecia Reece in a State Rep-tile race.
- And we didn’t see any “Daily Talking Points,” “Schedule,” or “Comments on Important Issues of the Day” from the “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup Campaign Press Office Friday morning like we get every day from some of the other campaigns. Instead of Oogling and Googling all their press clippings, you’d think Brad’s Brigade would realize they didn’t “win” on Tuesday, despite the fact that their candidate was an attractive alternative to an incumbent who was the most embarrassing elected official in Southwestern Ohio History (including Jerry Springer). It was “Mean Jean’s” campaign that lost.
- With Romney’s win in Ohio, the Ohio Media is still talking up Rob “Fighting for Fund-raisers” Portman’s VP chances, despite the fact that he chose our Bitch-in-a-Ditch to succeed him in Congress. But Thursday we got a robo-call from Republican U.S. Senate Candidate Josh Mandel inviting people to his fund-raiser in Sharonville next Tuesday morning, featuring everybody’s choice for VP, Senator Marc Rubio from Florida. State Rep-Tile Candidate Mike Wilson is coat-tailing that event with an e-mail invitation. Does he think those big names are going to let him speak?
- Republicans for Higher Taxes exclusively tells The Blower they will be releasing some revealing information on Connie the Pillager sometime next week. In the meantime, their latest blog entry asks its readers to identify the reasons behind Mean Jean Schmidt’s glorious defeat at the hands of Brad Wenstrup. They ask everyone to write their thoughts in the comments section.
- Some of “Mean Jean’s” supporters have become comically unhinged. For example, the Blogging Blobs of Brown County who we’ll call Mark and Matt Hurley, just posted a long, incomprehensible diatribe against Wenstrup and everyone who supported him. They included frequent references to “douches” and “douchebags,” and slurred the voters themselves for having the audacity to remove “Mean Jean” from office. At no point did they criticize “Mean Jean” for bringing these problems on herself, or for hiring inept campaign staff, or for waiting until the last week of the campaign to start campaigning. Nope, it’s everyone else’s fault.
- Saturday night it’ll be time to Spring Forward. Now where’d we put those damn instructions for changing the time on our new digital watch? Our Quote for Today Committee likes Gary Shandling’s “I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was on the night the clocks are set ahead.” But actually, as confusing as the reasons for Daylight Savings Time are, you shouldn’t forget Yogi Berra’s scientific explanation: “It gets late earlier out there.”
State Rep-tile Courtney Combs says Daylight Savings Time is a “World War I Era Antique” and he wants to end it in Ohio. But Twilight Tino Delgato says Daylight Savings Time is great. I would worry more about the Ohio Budget, legally financing schools and keeping/getting jobs for Ohio. IF this is implemented, kids and adult sports fields will all have to have lights. Where do we get these politicians anyway? Go Figure!!
- Down at the Hamilton County Courthouse, CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says the trial of Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien is now over, and Judge Nadel will be rendering his ruling by April 11 which will determine whether Whacky Jacky’s Illegitimate Son still owes his former employer Baird & Company any part of that paltry $378,000 it claim he owes. [SEE COURT RECORDS HERE]
Don’t expect to see any news coverage by Kevin’s enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal. They’re still busy celebrating passage of the Forest Gump School District’s humongous tax hike which will now force township property owners of $200,000 houses to pay $2,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators. But the Urinators don’t deserve all the credit. The non-political Anderson Area Chamber of Commerce gets a little too.
In its Election Day Recap, the Anderson Tea Party said your taxes will be going up to support a very large obligation to the teachers union labor contract. Once again, over-taxpayers will be forced to “bail out” elected officials who failed to make the tough choices. Our Tea Partiers seem willing to continue their struggle, although The Blower isn’t sure they have a real plan to persist.
- Butch LaDeux was a very troubled 11-year-old second-grader who was not doing well in school, even by the Forrest Gump School District’s standards. The truth is, Butch is illiterate, and he always tries to cover up his feelings of inferiority by punching little kids in the stomach and stealing their lunch money.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) enrolled Butch at O’Brien’s Gym so he could channel his aggressive energy and Bungals Bar-Fighter Rey Maualuga taught Butch how to blindside his opponents.
Butch still beats up little kids for their lunch money, but instead of punching them in the stomach, he takes clean shots to the head and face as he goes after them because their parents had dared to put “Vote No” signs against the school levy in their front yards.
The LaDeux family is no longer on welfare, due to the substantial amount of money Butch now brings home every week. They’re grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.
- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were telling Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane that 2012’s been a pretty good year for The Blower so far. We have a new web page, CFK-TV has several projects in development at Anderson Community Television, and this week “Mean Jean” was added to the RINO Hunters of America’s Trophy Wall.
“Don’t forget Eric ‘Call Me Crazy,’ Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters 61-day suspension,” chimed in Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo. “The Cabal in Northern Kentucky out to destroy ‘Crazy Eric’ hasn’t stopped celebrating.”
“I know,” Kane replied. “But I was rather hoping for castration.”
SORE LOSERS HOT LINE
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Some loser lambasting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally loser lambasting subscribers, but we could always use more.