Daily Archives: March 8, 2012

Special “Election Post Mortem” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

We Just Can’t Stop Gloating

    • Christmas came early at the Whistleblower Newswire’s offices Tuesday night, and the entire staff stayed up late to put out a special edition to that Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt had finally been defeated, because the Maggie/Che$ley/Cunningham cabal was unable to save Old Wrinkle-Puss one last time. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane even invited everybody to join The Whistleblower Munchkin Chorus singing, “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead.”
    • Throughout Ohio’s Second Congressional District, you won’t believe the number of people who are now trying to take credit for being the one who’d finally driven a wooden steak through “Mean Jean’s” heart, because when the votes were counted, Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup had soundly defeated our Dead Bitch-in-a-Ditch.
    • But our Quote for Today Committee remembers in 1961, responding to a question by a journalist about the Bay of Pigs, JFK said: “…victory has 100 fathers and defeat is an orphan.”
    • Hurley the Historian says in 1990, John Boehner got 49% of the vote when he defeated corrupt incumbent Buz Lukens in the Republican Primary. Tuesday night, “Bronze Star Brad” only got 48.79%.  So if it’s any consolation to Her Meanness, it would appear that Second District Republican voters view her as only slightly less horrible than a convicted sex offender.
    • And can you believe at press time, with 3% of the vote, Fred Kundrata still hasn’t conceded! Tony Brush sent an e-mail Wednesday morning (Mean Jean left a voice mail message Tuesday night), but Fred is apparently not yet convinced that the game is over. The question becomes, what will Fred do first: File his FEC report that was due February 23 (to show where the money was coming from) or concede defeat. The Blower says, “Don’t bet on him doing the classy thing anytime soon.”
    • Meanwhile, another Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend “Say It Ain’t So Joe” Braun was posting this message on Facebook: “On August 2, 2005, my friend Jean Schmidt became the first woman to represent the Cincinnati area in the United States House of Representatives. I am proud to have been a part of that tough campaign and the effort that launched her career in Congress. I wish Republican Brad Wenstrup the best of luck representing the Second Congressional District. I have called members of his extended family friends for many years and know them to all be good people. I am certain he will continue the tradition of strong leadership we have been blessed to have in the Second Congressional District.”
    • But here’s what really happened: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says “Mean Jean” had a big lead in name recognition early on, so she didn’t even campaign, and her Axis of Evil (Skaggie Maggie at The Fishwrap, Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-DemocRAT Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Disbarred Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley, and WLW Hate Radio’s Bill Cunningham) got lazy and didn’t launch a last minute attack on “Mean Jean’s” main opponent, as had been their effective strategy in previous campaigns. And during the last days of the campaign, the utter arrogance of the Schmitheads started to show, like when Mean Jean’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman failed to intimidate Rory Ryan, Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press (“We’ll stand by Wenstrup endorsement”).

  • It became a Perfect Storm when that Super PAC spent all that money to expose “Mean Jean’s” Corruption, and our Tea Party Patriots even targeted her by name. Meanwhile, all across Southwest Ohio, political insiders are wondering what the results would have been had there been even one competent person on the Wenstrup Campaign!
  • E-mailing supporters to ask for money at 1:07 AM on Wednesday before he’d even personally thanked those who might have had a small part in getting him elected was a bit tacky, to say the least.
  • Among those crying in their milk Wednesday morning are Republicans for Higher Taxes, a local blog which backed Mean Jean 100%.  They tell us they’re going to miss all her votes for higher taxes and bigger government, along with her numerous ethical scandals and public make-out sessions with Barack Obama.  They also report worthless blogging blimp Matt Hurley, a complete Schmidt tool, is starting a hunger strike in protest of Wenstrup’s victory.  That could go on a long time with all his excess reserves. And that Schmidthead from Bizzy Blog is probably on suicide watch. 

The Schmidtheads were idiotic to the end.  When approached by a Mean Jean lackey outside a Blue Ash polling station, a young conservative we’ll call Jeff stated he’ll be sure to vote against Schmidt. On the way out, after he passed her, after he crossed the parking lane, after he opened his car door, the Schmidt lackey yells, “do you like Nancy Pelosi?”  With that, Jeff replied, “I don’t like corruption in either party, that’s why I voted for Brad Wenstrup,” and with that got into his car and spent the rest of the day helping Wenstrup and other conservatives.

  • It was “Mean Jean” who was a good friend to Pelosi. Demographics say Ohio’s Second Congressional District should always be safe for Republicans. But Schmidt’s incompetence required the national GOP to bail her out on three different occasions, which diverted money from GOP candidates in difficult congressional districts who truly needed the help, and who were way more worthy than “Mean Jean” anyhow. Schmidt’s inability to do her job cost the Republican Party seats across the country, including in 2006 and 2008 when Republicans were getting waxed. Could Steve Chabot have held off Driehaus in 2008 if the party didn’t have to waste so much money on Schmidt that year?  We know Nancy Pelosi is going to miss Mean Jean far more than the voters around here will.
  • Elsewhere, looking at the rest of the results on the morning after Super Duper Tuesday, Politics as Usual. Mitt Romney was rolling along with 404 of the 1,144 delegates he needs for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination in Tampa. Revered Former Ohio Congressman Bob McEwen was soldiering on as Newt Gingrich’s happy warrior on TV. And Mike DeWhine’s guarantee that Rick Santorum would win Ohio wasn’t worth a bucket of warm spit.
  • The Blower finds it amusing that the main stream media has been hyping Super Tuesday for weeks by saying it will make the eventual winner clear, but now that it’s Romney, all the stories are about “eeking out a win”?!  The Blower understands our Prostitutes in the Press want to try to keep the drama alive as long as they can, but what’s it say about all their prior assessments of the situation if “Super Tuesday” was nothing more than another day at the races.  “Romney maintains slim lead” should just be the recurrent headline from now till the election.
  • And were the guys at Political Science Theatre 2012 ever wrong about their prediction that getting more people in the race to split “Mean Jean’s” opposition assured her of victory. [WATCH THAT HERE]
  • Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine had spent $100,000 to keep each of his stooges on the Ohio Republican Party Central Committee by implying they were endorsed by the Tea Party, when the truth is, destroying the Tea Party has always been his goal. Did the Ohio Republican House Caucus spend more than $250,000 to smear opponents of lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg? They surely must’ve gotten their money’s worth, because “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman was DOA when the polls opened on Tuesday. Poor Tom, he could’ve been a contender! CityBleat is blaming COAST for the defeat. School Nazis made sure Anderson property owners of $200,000 houses would be paying $2,000-a-year to support greedy teachers and administrators, with a little help from illegally using school property and public resources to influence the vote and cooperation from the supposedly non-political Anderson Area Chamber of Commerce and the unfair and balanced Forest Hills Urinal.
  • Still, the biggest local Primary Victory Tuesday Night had to go to our Looney Libertarian Jim Berns who eked out 93% win over Queen Noble. Berns will be vying in his fourth losing Congressional effort in November, this time against Republican Steve Chabothead. Queen Nobel came in dead last in her Cincinnati City Clown-cil campaign last fall. She could not be reached for comment because her phone has been disconnected.
  • Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he wouldn’t miss “Mean Jean” Schmidt at least a little bit, especially after the New York Times had given him credit for her Official Whistleblower Nickname all those years ago. “She may be gone, but she won’t be forgotten, Kane explained. “Rumor has it that Schmidt and Dennis Kucinich will be opening a charm school.”

Still, things weren’t all bad for “Mean Jean” on Election Night. Especially when you consider she now won’t have to re-pay the rest of that $500,000 in legal fees to her Turkish attorneys according to the House Ethics Committee, and she can sell all of her autographed State of the Union Programs and live happily off the proceeds for the rest of her miserable life.


 Now, to put the national political race in perspective

  • Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says every time our Obama Supporters in the Press say Republicans can never win the 2012 Presidential Elections in only “242” more days because they’re not unified behind a single candidate at this time, Hurley the Historian says you have to look no further than “Crossovers and Cross-dressers” in The Whistleblower Archives on the Thursday after Super Tuesday in 2008. Here’s what it said:

We told you so. Even with all that hype from local reporterettes auditioning for CNN, the Kneepad Liberals’ contest between Hillary and Obama still isn’t over. We liked the blonde bimbo on TV 5 who said, Hillary is the clear widow tonight.” Who gets credit for saying “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings?” We’re not sure, but Tuesday night, our Quote for Today Committee chose Yogi Berra’s “It ain’t over till it’s over.” Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory will still enjoy be interviewed about being a superdelegate. Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says this thing may go on so long, those primary elections in Kentucky might actually be relevant.

Have you ever seen so much money spent on a primary? Republicans got so many direct mail pieces from Obama and so many phone calls from Hillary, it’s no wonder they ran out of DemocRAT ballots from all those Rush Limbaugh “crossover” voters, not to mention the “cross-dressers.” Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka says they even ran out of ballots for Dead DemocRATS at the Spring Grove Cemetery.

If you think the voters in Tuesday’s elections were dumbed-down, you should’ve seen the folks from the geezer citizen centers working at the polls. Did you ever wonder if all those poll workers got paid the same amount of money? Shouldn’t the geezer who took 15 minutes not to find your name in the book get more than that smelly old lady who only sat next to him, hollering, “Could you spell your name louder?” And why were the lines so long, you still had to fill in the boxes for all those candidates running unopposed. So much ink, so little choice!

Things certainly haven’t changed much since then, have they?


More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our March fund-raising drive by the Wenstrup for Congress Campaign, for reasons which now should seem painfully obvious!


TAKING CREDIT FOR MEAN JEAN’S DEFEAT

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