We’re Really Sorry

Our attorneys and legal defense fund administrators told us we may have written some things lately which might have offended some people. In certain cases, they say, it was by a careless word or phrase. In other cases, our remarks could be construed as either knowingly false, libelous, or with malicious intent. Although there is no prevailing legal authority, the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team still advises that should we now recant, fully and completely, damages in any legal actions against us might be at least somewhat mitigated.

So Here It Is— Our Formal Apology

WE REALLY MEAN IT! We’re really humble. No lie. We apologize profusely. No kidding. We really went too far. This is sincere. No fooling around now. When we’re wrong, we’re wrong. We’re not joking. There’s no punishment in Hell cruel and unusual enough for what we’ve done.
WE MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS. We owe everyone we’ve ever criticized an apology.

There was no excuse for sponsoring a personal-and-vitriolic Super PAC campaign against That Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt just because her legal bills were being paid by Turkish terrorists. We were so vitriolic, everybody on the Whistleblower Staff should be forced to join Vitriolics Anonymous.

Exposing “Mean Jean’s” News Flack Barrett Brunsman for trying to intimidate Rory Ryan, Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press and Ohio Second District Republican Congressional Candidate Fred Kundrata for getting into the race to attack “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s war hero opponent “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup were bad enough, but being willing to publish unfounded rumors from Dirt Digging DemocRATS looking to make mischief for GOP candidates during the 2012 Elections has already caused us to betray our Republican roots, and we only hope we can atone for that before the November Elections.

Other recent regrettable reports include how Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine got caught squandering Republican Party resources to defeat fellow Republicans in the March 6 primaries; ridiculing Resigned-in-Disgrace Former Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson, just because he traded drugs for sex with a hooker who called herself “Amanda Lay” at a sleazy motel in Northern Kentucky, was unfair to all those sleazy hotels in Ohio; aiding and abetting WLW Radio Trash Talker Darryl Parks attempts to tell the truth about the Forrest Gump Schools’ humongous tax hike so township property owners of $200,000 houses can now pay $2,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators; asking if the Ohio Republican House Caucus spend more than $250,000 to smear opponents of lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg; and Whacky Jackie’s Illegitimate Son Kevin P. O’Brien’s failure to pay his property taxes on that house at 7964 Hopper Road (in foreclosure for a mere $373,137.80) in “the third most affluent neighborhood in America.”

OURS IS TRULY A SCURRILOUS PUBLICATION. It’s not enough for us to say “mistakes were made.” Often we were cowardly. Every issue may even have been libelous. (But never poorly written.)
SOMETIMES WE’VE BEEN REALLY TASTELESS, like the picture of our Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor with egg on his face, or that vile-and-disgusting nude porn shot of that former Ben-Gal we’ve been “sexting” while driving to all our BFFs on their cell phones. We hope we can make you believe us.
OUR PAIN IS SO UNBEARABLE. We’re filled with such utter remorse that words will never convey the depths of our anguish.

Kneepad Liberals in the Press like the idiotorial board at the Feckless Fishwrap, as well as all those left-wing bloggers whacking off in their moms’ basements, were right.

Ours is truly a “venomous rag!” We never should’ve called TV9’s Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin a news trollop, or else she might still be working there today.

Others we’ve helped send to the unemployment lines during the our decades of destruction include WLW Hate Radio Roustabout Gary Burbank and Convicted Groundhog Murderer John Phillips, along with half the Fishwrappers (including Huggable Howard Wilkinson) and the entire staff and management of The ComPost. Oh, the humanity! No wonder we have trouble sleeping at night.

WE’VE BEEN SO INSENSITIVE. Every homosexual must really hate us. Even our Alternative Life-Style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis, too!

Publishing that illustration of Disgraced Former Conservative Chris Finney in bed with local NAALCP President SMLP Smithermouth was homophobic, at the very least, because over the years, more than a few people say even some of Artis Conception’s award-winning illustrations have been callous cartoonery.

Calling attention to Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory and the Mayor’s big, beefy Black bodyguard (and Cincinnati Police Officer) Scotty Johnson was not politically correct. Helping Dainty become the laughingstock of the entire nation was just piling on when he threw out the First Pitch at the Reds’ Opening Day a couple of years ago year. We should’ve been dragged kicking and screaming to sensitivity training along with the Ghost of Large Marge and WLW Hate Radio trash talker Bill “The Draft Dodger” Cunningham.

WE’VE BEEN RACIST. We should never have made all those “two free slurs” jokes. How niggardly of us. When “JayWalking Joe” Deters told us all those Obama jokes during our many lunches, we should’ve gotten up and left the table and not accepted his hospitality, but the hot-and-sour soup was too good to pass up.

Continuing to expose Cincinnati’s useless police chief James Craig and asking when Mayor Mallory and his Kentucky butt boy Dough Boy Honey would start over-paying inept white people to waste the over-taxed payers’ resources was only Affirmative Action in Reverse.

And criticizing Cincinnati Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s Deadbeat Cousin Liz Rogers’ for not paying her debts while glomming on to a million dollar grant from the over-taxed payers to open at sure-to-fail Soul Food Bistro at the Banks may have even caused some people to doubt the competence and intentions of our Nine Fine Clowns on the our new extreme Liberal City Clown-cil.

But why would you expect our Kneepad Liberals in the Press to report any of this? These days our Feckless Fishwrappers are too busy these days trying to assist civil rights activists create maximum outrage in urban communities to ensure more angry black people show up on Election Day to vote for Obama and the DemocRATS.

WE’VE BEEN MALE CHAUVINIST PIGS: Reminding our readers about that time in 1996 when Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel reported that one of our local TV videographers was embedded in one of our local newsbimbos during a romantic overseas getaway, was un-chivalrous indeed. It was almost as bad as calling Maggie Skaggie, Lizzy Ghizzy, or Vicky Icky.
WE’VE BEEN UNSPORTSMANLIKE: Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says with only a few days until Opening Day, we’re still not over last year when we accused Señor Bob Castellini of gouging each member of the Reds’ underpaid cleaning crew a $6 mandatory transportation fee to get to work.

Including Poor Little Mikey Brown, a portly pantload from Indian Hill, as one of our Seediest Kids of All was only adding insult to injury.

Hurley the Historian says we won’t have to apologize if we remember that on this day in 1992, “JayWalking Joe” Deters was first appointed prosecutor, and we’re still waiting for him to call one of those murdering bastard rapists he prosecutes “scum.”

WE MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS. We owe everyone we’ve ever criticized an apology. Repeatedly reminding Real Republicans how RINOs didn’t learn their lessons after the resounding rejection they received from the voters in November 2006, accurately pointing out that not a single GOP candidate or so-called Conservative and anti-taxer organization has yet to do anything to correct its past mistakes, and predicting that Hamilton County, as well as the Buckeye State and the entire nation would be turning “Blue” in 2008, was indeed repetitious and excessive. It will always be one of our most painful prophecies.

Implying that a so-called anti-tax organization was suing the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools just to make money for its avaricious attorneys was only true.

THIS IS THE HARDEST E-DITION WE’VE EVER HAD TO WRITE. You’d better believe it. When will we ever learn? All our jokes about making BB&BJ Day a National Holiday were just wishful thinking, especially every time former Pants-dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton came to town for a sleazy fund-raiser for Hillary at Not-Yet-Indicted (But Getting Closer All The Time) Disgraceful DemocRAT, Hearse-chasing Attorney $tan Che$ley’s mansion in Indian Hill. Reminding people how Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley continues to break the law every time she takes her mangy mutts to the Federal courthouse so they can crap all over the floor while she’s making all her biased Liberal rulings was only another harmful result of our obsession to point out all things obvious.

Also, pointing out how the Bluegrass Bar Association recommended $tan be permanently disbarred in Kentucky and forced to return $7.6 million of the $20 million he took in fees was just piling on.

And gloating every time one of our predictions came true was sophomoric, and as the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, our subscribers should’ve been able to expect a great deal more from us.

ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo has a lot to apologize for, too. Making fun of the homeless has never been politically correct. Telling Miss Vicki she should write a “tell-all” book was just stirring up scandal. Revealing the fact that uptight bitches in Fort Thomas were faking their orgasms was disillusioning to their horny humping hubbies.

Calling attention to Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie Whalen’s roots was ungentlemanly. Implying “BeanBall Jim” Bunning had grown feeble in his old age was really insensitive to elderly Americans. Mocking the titanic tragedy of Jeff Ruby’s Waterfront Restaurant was heartless. And that Obesity Boy poster of Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich was just one more “fat joke.”

Comparing convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff to clueless Marc Wilson came about as close to libel as we’ve ever come. We sure hope Jack doesn’t carry a grudge. We never should have called Vanilla Hills Mayor Mike Martin a “miscreant” because he’s just too friggin’ stupid to know what it means. Reminding Rednecks that the words to “My Old Kentucky Home” actually contain a reference to “gay darkies” was pure, unadulterated hate speech. And constantly promoting Charles Foster Kane’s part in that award-winning Flashlight Theater Music Video was beyond shameless. Almost as shameless as CFK-TV on Anderson Community Television, where besides developing cable access programming people might actually want to watch, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher will no doubt include himself in that list of Fifty Most Fascinating Residents of Anderson Township the Whistleblower-Newswire has been compiling.

Not agreeing with Cincinnati Ragazine that Eric ‘Call Me Crazy,’ Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters was the greatest lawyer in tri-state history even after virginal Ben-Gal Sarah Jones and her mother were indicted during “Crazy Eric’s” 61-day suspension by the Bluegrass Bar Association was reason enough to bring charges of journalistic misconduct against us before the Society for Un-Professional Journalists, which was correct not to consider The Blower for its upcoming “Best Defense of the First Amendment Award” in this year’s writing contests. At least we didn’t ask if Crazy Eric had given Miss Jones a promise ring.

At the same time, continuing to remind people about Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders’ humiliating defeat when Linda Smith (the lady lawyer, not the Boondoggle County Commonwealth Attorney) used the classic “Tripping Muff Diver Defense” in his first big case as an assistant prosecutor, was a smear against muff divers everywhere. Ken CamBoo now admits that wondering aloud how much KY jelly Bill Erpenbeck was using in prison made us a real pain in the ass. We now feel our own pain.

We hope our readers will somehow forgive us for so often saying during the past 22 years. “How else could you explain why voters, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching lying illegal ads and daily distortions on TV newscasts, twice chose to send to the White House, a draft-dodging, dope-smoking, wife-cheating, race-baiting, peace protesting perjurer who’d surely drag the nation down to the moral equivalent of Arkansas or the Jerry Springer Show? Maybe that’s why all you draft-dodgers, dope-smokers, wife-cheaters, race-baiters, and peace protesting perjurers now have a culture you truly deserve.”
Constantly counting down the days until the next elections (2012 is only “219” and primaries in Kentucky are only “51”) is just like Chinese water torture.
Reminding Persons of Consequence on our exclusive e-mail list that our Feckless Fishwrappers are too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest ever to report the truth was just nasty name-calling at best.
Allowing all those people to become “Friends” on The Whistleblower’s Faux Facebook Page was not friendly.
Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto is just plain wrong, because holding the little guy down is bullying at its worst.
Excess in the pursuit of commentary is no virtue. It’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We swear it on a stack of Bibles. Right before your very eyes.
In spite of all the evidence, how could we have ever not accepted Obama as our Savior and Messiah?
We’re so ashamed.
No wonder The Blower has been banned at so many places.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose “An apology is a good way to have the last word.”
Therefore, since tomorrow is the First Day of April 2012, we promise we’ll never, ever do it again.

Signed,
Charles Foster Kane,
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher

Now for everyone else we’ve offended, please fill out your copy of our Whistleblower Commemorative Formal Apology in case you run out of toilet paper.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Top Ten List

Today it’s the Top Ten Excuses “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s high-level campaign staffer gave when he was pulled over by the Newtown Police Department on Election Night:

10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’m a campaign worker on Election Night
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake

…and the Number One Excuse “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s high-level campaign staffer gave when he was pulled over by the Newtown Police Department on Election Night is… “My boss said nobody would ever find out.”

Still Wandering in the Wilderness

The program at Wednesday night’s big Hamilton County RINO Party “Lincoln and Reagan Are Turning Over in Their Graves Because of What We’ve Done to Their Party” Dinner was supposed to start at 6:30, but didn’t get going until 7:15. After Ghizzy Lizzy threw a hissy fit about who got to introduce the local officials in 2010, Alex T. Mall Cop GOP once again kept the job for himself, and did a bang-up job.

Twice, he skillfully managed to introduce a former elected official who let himself be succeeded by a DemocRAT, former Colerain Township Dis-Trust-EE Keith “I am the Greatest Republican Who Ever Lived” Corman. Since the self-appointed Greatest Republican Ever spends most of his days trashing other Republicans to other Republicans, perhaps Alex was correct in introducing the man twice, once for each side of his mouth.

Alex T. also did his usual job of playing favorites with the introductions. Tracy Winkler and his other Green Township cronies were practically canonized.

After 15 minutes worth of intros and awards, it was announced “dinner will be served” at 7:30. But dinner service begun after 8 o’clock. The program ran two hours behind while the union goons who work at the Hyatt sloughed off to Piatt Park and got some Occupy Protestors to impersonate a wait staff. Apparently, they truly believe that “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” because that’s how the chicken slivers full of pink slime and a ground chuck “medallion” (a fancy term for “burger without the bun”) were served.

The event also featured That Tea Party Messiah Who May One Day Be Crowned State Rep-Tile introducing the warm-up speaker, Auditor of State Dave Yost, who then introduced another statewide oaf, that ACORN-loving DeWhiner Groupie Jon Husted, and at 9 PM, Husted finally got around to introducing Karl Rove, who calls himself ‘the greatest political mind of his generation and probably of any generation…’ ”

Alex T.’s Political Director, Former DemocRAT operative Ashwin Corrattiyil (pronounced Ashwin), really outdid himself in his latest bid to sabotage the GOP. Lincoln and Reagan have been spinning in their graves ever since Alex T. and other Hamilton County Republicans sold their souls to $tan Che$ley at that brunch for “Mean Jean” Schmidt in 2008, but last night, Emily Post was also spinning just as much over the horrendous lack of etiquette.

The food wasn’t worth $75, the beers weren’t worth $9, either, and Huggable Howard Wilkinson’s online coverage of this event in Thursday’s Fishwrap shows why he should have retired long ago.

Because when Karl Rove told Huggable that Obama the “most vulnerable” DemocRAT president since Carter, Huggable might have asked the greatest political mind in history how many other DemocRAT presidents there’ve been since 1980. The Blower can only remember Bill Clinton.

Bluegrass Ball-Walkers

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why he’s always complaining about media hype, since political propaganda has been his special province for a very long time. Thirty-two years ago, Kane blew the whistle on then GOP Hamilton County Commissioner Norman Murdock for illegally campaigning from the Hamilton County Courthouse. But even before that, Kane was publicizing and promoting some pretty worthwhile causes.

Hurley the Historian said, “Take that time in 1980 when Kane volunteered to line up publicity for then-26-year old Lexington native Keen Babbage’s legendary 14-day, 430-mile walk from the Rawlings Sporting Goods Company in St. Louis to bring the Opening Day baseball to Riverfront Stadium, so five-year-old Jason Edwards, the March of Dimes Poster Child, could throw out the first pitch to Johnny Bench.”

Here’s our 32-year-old news advisory for that day: Mild-mannered P&G advertising salesman Keen Babbage has become an overnight celebrity on his 430-mile trek from St. Luis to Cincinnati to promote the March of Dimes Superwalk in April 27. Yesterday, Babbage averaged better than four miles per hour for the 47 miles between Libroy and Mr. Vernon, Illinois.

Clear skies and 55-degree weather greeted him as he traveled the flat Illinois farmland. All along the route, cars stopped for autographs, pictures, newspaper interviews, and to offer contributions for the March of Dimes. They all wanted to see the baseball Babbage was carrying to Riverfront Stadium so Jason Edwards, the five-year-old March of Dimes Poster Child could throw out the first ball to the 1980 season to Cincinnati Reds catcher Johnny Bench.

In Nashville, Illinois, employees at the IGA store invited Babbage in for lunch. All he could eat.

This morning, Babbage got the key to the city from the mayor of Mt. Vernon, Illinois, as the town council, local athletes, and reporters accompanied him for the first mile out of town. Tonight, Keen expects to arrive at Fairfield, Illinois—and easy trip. It’s only 32 miles.

Kane said what started as a publicity stunt to promote the March of Dimes had become an inspiration to him and Babbage, because they were constantly reminded of how the Cincinnati poster child finally walked the year before after 14 operations, taking his first steps on Christmas Day that year.

The Associated Press quote Babbage: “I remember my fourth day out, when I had walked 47 grueling miles. I was beat with another long day facing me the next day. I didn’t know how I could make it. Then the people in Princeton, Indiana introduced me to their poster child. He had to practice all day just to be able to say my name. I was ashamed for being tired. The kid had done all the work. Compared to him, my 47 miles were nothing that day. Since then, I haven’t been tired.”

No wonder our Quote for Today Committee asked to borrow Keen’s quote.

Stories We’re Working On

Supremes poised to strike down Obamacare
House kills Obama budget 414-0
Tea Party favorite Rubio endorses Romney
Pravda endorses Obama
First lady hits Vegas with her daughters
No Hoodies at Reds games
Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters’ client and her mother are both indicted

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said we should expect to see at Mediocre American Ball Park this year:

(A) Good hitting beats good pitching and vice versa: 2%
(B) More hype than you can imagine: 1%
(C) Really scruffy people dressed in crappy red clothes: 1%
(D) Outrageous food prices: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

No Fool Like an Old Fool

This week, everybody who can’t wait until Sunday to start playing April Fool’s Day jokes, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is Harley Hoodwinker, who likes to watch people’s faces whenever he says, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times…” Harley wins a copy of the “1,001 Best April Fool’s Day Pranks of 2013” so he can plan ahead for next year, a lifetime pass on the new Cincinnati Trolley, and Reds and Bungals playoff tickets. His winning limerick is:

There once was an Old April Fool
Who fancied his franchise quite cool.
He refused to trade old Number Nine,
Insisting everything would be fine,
Since all this Fool’s deals are Old School.

There once was an Old April Fool,
Who at one time had been very cool,
Now all of his friends,
Sends him lots of Depends,
And Kleenex to catch to catch all his drool.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s counting the days until his poetic license is restored):

There once was an old April fool
Who thought that he was really cool
He wore bell bottomed jeans
Like he was still in his teens
And watched TV reruns of the Cool Ghoul.

There once was an old April fool
Who challenged a guy to a duel
But he made a bad deal
The guy was a Navy SEAL
Now in Hades he is under Osama’s rule.

(And this one from 3/27 of 2011!)
There once was an old April fool
Dumb as an ox, stubborn as a mule
He voted with libs
Fell for the DumbocRAT fibs
And left us with Obama to rule.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“The Best Part About Tax Freedom Day”

APRIL FOOLS HOTLINE

e-mail your best pranks today.

Some April Fools items in today’s Blower
were sent in by our equally April Fooling subscribers.

Link of the Day

Obama April Fools

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Remove All Hoods and Sunglasses Before Entering

With only “221” more days until the Presidential Elections, Liberal exploitation of the Trayvon Martin Murder Case continues because despite round-the-clock media coverage of the Trayvon Martin shooting in Florida, Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says most Americans haven’t come to a conclusion yet whether it’s a case of murder or self-defense.

Black DemocRAT Congressman Bobby Rush lost his right to speak on the House floor after he violated rules by putting on a hoodie and sunglasses. He couldn’t even walk into a PNC Bank dressed like that.

And more Liberal Lunacy: what about that New Orleans police officer who was forced to resign after his chief read his Facebook comments (Which was so good, Mr. Whistle is repeating it at the top of the page).

And then there’s Spike Lee, who Twitted to 240,000 other black loonies the home address of George Zimmerman so they all peaceably assembly in Zimmerman’s front yard. The only problem was, that address was the home of a 70-year old Florida couple who had no connection to the George Zimmerman Spike was calling a murderer, without any evidence. And now, that couple has had to flee and Spike says, “It’s not my fault and I refuse to apologize.”

And don’t leave out the new Black Panther Party’s poster offering $2 million bounty for George Zimmerman’s death. Attorney General Holder says “What’s wrong with that?”

No wonder our Quote for Today Committee says all those stupid sayings you see on Hoodies don’t count.

And if Trayvon Martin doesn’t rise from the grave on Easter Sunday, all those Kneepad Liberals in the Press wearing Hoodies will have failed, since yesterday’s Blower asked why Obama Supporters in the Press Wearing Hoodies ignored former NAACP leader C.L. Bryant, when he accused Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton of “exploiting” the Trayvon Martin tragedy to “racially divide this country.” Maybe their policy is, “If you’re Black we got your back.”

No wonder Form-Fitting Fashion Fan Tino Delgato says Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s sympathetic Hoodie look was touching for a yoof killed 1,000 miles away in Florida. But he did one thing wrong. He wore the Hoodie backwards. Next time he should hide his face. We’re all still recovering from his embarrassing antics on Opening Day and “Undercover Boss.” Go Figure!!!

Meanwhile, the Obama Re-election Campaign at the White House announced and subsequently canceled a sale of collegiate hooded sweatshirts after eliciting the ire of many conservatives, including the Whistleblower-Newswire.

RINO Roundup

What was the biggest buzz at Wednesday night’s big Hamilton County RINO Party “Lincoln and Reagan Are Turning Over in Their Graves Because of What We’ve Done to Their Party” Dinner?

Was everybody wondering who would lead the Pledge of Allegiance, now that Congresswoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt had been surprisingly defeated?

Were party hacks speculating about the identity of that high-ranking member of “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign pulled over on Election Night by the Newtown Police Department and given a warning for DUI?

Or maybe all those politicians and elected officials were asking who’d be misquoting them at The Fishwrap, now that long-time Political Reporter Howard Wilkinson was in that group of Bought Out Fishwrappers The Blower predicted would be announced this week.

Hurley the Historian says this date in 1973, the last U.S. combat troops left South Vietnam as Hanoi freed the remaining American prisoners of war held in North Vietnam, and America’s direct eight-year intervention in the Vietnam War was at an end. Can’t you just imagine if Obama had been in charge?

From the Great White North

Notaxjack says I sat through two hours of teachers’ complaining at the Springboro school board meeting Tuesday night. One teacher got up while a board member was speaking and yelled at the board member. Then he helped his wife pick up the huge diamond on her left hand and they both left the nearly filled auditorium.

It was in a hornet’s nest of ugly teachers. The one to my right had a diamond ring almost as big as her ass. Then there were two sitting right behind me. They were so fat, when they both clapped for their union buddies’ speeches, their feet hit my seat, and they both farted each time. It was a mess, I’ll tell ya.

Then when I clapped for my friends on the board, they all turned on me at once. They repeatedly ask if I lived in the district. I told them I lived here for over 40 years. When I stood up and told them to keep their comments to themselves, they told me that this was still a free country and they could say anything they wanted. That’s when I told them to shut up.

Boy if they just knew who I was, they would have lynched me. I’m the person who started six years ago making signs in my garage against the school levies in Springboro. I went door-to-door with signs and it caught on like wild fire. Each levy saved the over-taxed payers here $5 million and we’ve defeated five in a row. Now with a 9.2 mill levy about to expire the board has to find ways to make up for the lost cash. There ain’t going to be a new replacement levy. I have helped all three new board members get elected and they not one of them will support a levy. I say fire all the ugly teachers and hire hot babes like the super in Mason did so the high school boys can get hands on sex education.

The Cincinnati City Mess You’ll Only Read About Here

Hype put out by the city praised the alleged virtues of the useless Cincinnati police chief James Craig when he was police chief in Portland, Maine. The city spin machine said he was popular and respected in Portland. Not true.

Here’s the real reason he became chief in Portland.

During the 1990s, Portland, a town with a population of 64,000, was inundated with a large influx of immigrants from Sudan, that strife-ridden country in eastern Africa. Three thousand or more Sudanese settled in Portland. A 26 year-old Sudanese man was killed by the Portland police, with two officers firing at him. The Sudanese community was in an uproar over this and another Sudanese death. Civil unrest was a real possibility, and the Portland politicians wanted to avoid any eventuality.

The Portland city government wanted to stop immigrant anger at the police department and decided it would be a politically correct move to hire a black police chief.

Craig wasn’t chosen in 2009 in Portland because he was a great police leader. He was chosen because he was black. That’s the same reason he was chosen in 2011 to be the chief here in Cincinnati by Mayor Mallory and his Kentucky butt boy Dough Boy Honey. Craig was chosen to head Cincinnati’s police department because he is black and because he kowtows to the mayor and his butt boy.

Here in Cincinnati, police chief Craig can’t lead, can’t enforce the law, can’t make an arrest, can’t pass the basic test to be certified by the state, can’t vote, doesn’t have an Ohio driver’s license, is living in a rental unit with rented furniture and is a legal resident of the state of California.

And you wonder why all those officials in Portland sent such glowing letters of recommendation— how the hell else were they ever going to get rid of him? If they’d told the truth, they’d still be stuck with his sorry black ass.

And Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin sent us over-taxed payer funded Mallory’s e-mail update where he’s claiming Thursday’s City’s job fair is “his?” Garry the Grammarian says if you’re not paying for something, it’s not “yours.” And Mallory says they’re looking for applicants between the ages of 16 and 24. The Blower thought there were regulations against age discrimination.

Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Howard Wilkinson’s legacy The Fishwrap.

Kane explained that The Blower had been all set to take Huggable Howard to task for an egregious error in his recent story about Disgraced Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWine’s imminent replacement, but we gave him a pass for old time’s sake since long-time Persons of Consequence recall “The Wilkinson Watch” in that June 4, 1990 Edition #2 of the original Whistleblower, when we reported:

“No award-winning political column in Sunday’s Enquirer for the third week in a row. In an election year? Rumor has it that Howard Wilkinson is close to walking out. Fed up with Republican blue-penciling of his work from on high, since the Enquirer motto continued to be, “If you can’t say anything nice about county Republicans, don’t say anything at all.”

Two weeks later in Edition #4 on June 18, 1990, we finally had learned to use a scanner, and Howard’s picture was the first ever to appear in a Whistleblower: HOWARD WILKINSON POLITICS: Unnamed captors have released this picture of award-winning Enquirer Political reporter HOWARD WILKINSON so family and friends will know that he is still alive and well. His astute political insight has now not been seen for five weeks. No word yet on possible ransom demands.

Bluegrass Battlers

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says everybody was astounded when our Kentucky-Louisville basketball rivalry got out of hand at a Kentucky dialysis clinic where one patient punched another during an argument about the teams.

According to the KY ComPost, Georgetown police Lt. Robert Swanigan says the altercation began Monday with a verbal exchange between the 68-year-old Kentucky fan and 71-year-old Louisville fan. The men were arguing over who will win when the teams meet in the Final Four on Saturday. Swanigan says the Kentucky fan, who was receiving treatment, flipped off the Louisville fan, whereupon the Cardinals fan punched the UK supporter in the face.

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall hopes those geezer gladiators don’t both show up at the same sports bar on Saturday.

Ken CamBoo says a recent poll shows that Tea Party favorite Thomas Massie has a sizeable lead in race to replace Goof Doofus in Kentucky’s May 22 Primary in only 54 more days. Trooper Babe Alecia is, however, within the margin of error of the poll. But Boondoggle Judge Executive Gary Moore is a distant fourth place. How come he’s not last? While interviewing Boondogglers, it seems that both Massie and possibly Trooper Babe could beat Gary in his own county. Trending to that conclusion, we asked each of the new incoming GOP officers in Burlington whom they personally support in this race. Surprisingly ALL five officers support Massie. Now that could be a “Tell Tale” sign that this race could leave Moore with a lot of egg on his face. “Fried or scrabbled, Sir”? Talk about Embarrassing?!
Our Vanilla Hills Vigilante says “Listen. Do you hear that?” NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKA-BOOOOOOM!!! That was the sound of Vanilla Hills Miscreant Mayor Mike “the kamikaze” Martin pushing the throttle full forward and nose diving the City straight into the ground, exploding it in a colossal fireball. For all you pinheads who voted for Martin (whether you are now willing to admit it or not) and are scratching your asses wondering just what the hell happened, take a look at Channel 9 News report on Martin’s latest disaster.
Finally, last week Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” Deters was doing for free, told us there were a couple of upcoming indictments Blower readers might be interested in. Shoot the news to us, Lisa, as soon as you get it.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our March fund-raising drive by the Deveroes, featuring Hoodies and Sunglasses for your next urban outing.

HOODIE HYPE HOT LINE

e-mail your Liberal Lunacy today.

Some Liberal Lunatic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Liberal Lunatic subscribers.

Link of the Day

Congressman Bobby Rush (D-Ill.) breaks House rules by donning a hoodie

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A Roomful of RINOs

Tonight it’s the big Hamilton County RINO Party “Lincoln and Reagan Are Turning Over in Their Graves Because of What We’ve Done to Their Party” Dinner, and Real Republicans hereabouts are checking their in-boxes for another Daily Desperate Diatribe from former Kerry-Edwards operative Ashwin Corattiyil (pronounced “Ashwin”) imploring them to pony up $150-per-couple to hear the same Karl Rove blather they can get for free on Fox News.

It used to be called the “Annual Lincoln-Reagan-Che$ley Day Dinner,” back when $tan was buying all those Republican elected officials. But the avaricious attorney’s acquisitions have slowed down ever since fighting his disbarment in Kentucky started taking up so much of his time and his filthy lucre.

So does The Blower intend to cover the event? You bet! As the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, political skullduggery, and back-stabbing in Southwestern Ohio, our readers know to expect nothing less.

And at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the timing of tonight’s Hamilton County RINO Party “Lincoln and Reagan Are Turning Over in Their Graves Because of What We’ve Done to Their Party” Dinner.

“They certainly would’ve sold more tickets if they’d scheduled the event before the March 6 primary and one of the Presidential Candidates had been the featured speaker,” Kane explained. “Now they have to settle for a Bushie like Karl Rove. He calls himself ‘the greatest political mind of his generation and probably of any generation…’ ”

“Do you think Rove will be there selling his book?” someone asked.

Where’s Mean Jean?

In a related story, many people are wondering if “Mean Jean” Schmidt will be showing up at all those upcoming Lincoln Day Dinners in her District. But if she’s not, we’re certain that her news flack and spokesman Barrett Brunsman will be busy answering inquiries about the new lawsuit Chris Finney and Curt Hartman filed in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Ohio against the Federal Elections Commission seeking more documents regarding Mean Jean and her connection to the Turkish American Legal Defense Fund. The new lawsuit, Case No. 1:12:-cv-242 was filed March 26 and assigned to who else but Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley, and seeks documents they claim the FEC is refusing to provide to them related to correspondence submitted by Mean Jean’s fundraiser Phil Greenberg during his efforts to defend her from the last lawsuit Hartman and Finney filed against Mean Jean. Not surprisingly, among other things, the lawsuit seeks to have the government pay Finney and Hartman more big time legal fees. Are these guys looking out for us over-taxed payers or what?
Republicans for Higher Taxes in their latest post discuss Mean Jean Schmidt’s sudden decision to drop her frivolous $6.8 million lawsuit against David Kevorkian. They inadvertently summed up the issue perfectly in their second sentence when they wrote, “Schmidt filed this lawsuit because Kevorkian said something mean about her in the 2008 elections.”

“Mean Jean” always has to make a spectacle of herself. It can include acts such as making out with Obama at the State of the Union when every other Congressman settles for shaking his hand in a dignified manner. Or in this case, it’s filing an outrageous lawsuit because someone criticized her in the 2008 elections rather than simply being satisfied with her win, a decision which led to accepting $500,000 of illegal gifts from foreign interests and launched the ethical scandal that finally brought her down. After all that, the day Schmidt became a lame duck Congressman is the day the Turks abandoned her. Not surprisingly, even Mean Jean could see how frivolous this lawsuit was as soon as she nobody else was paying her legal bills for her.

Meanwhile, The Blower is still waiting for a press release from “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Press Office explaining the latest Intel from those Dirt Digging DemocRATS about the high-ranking member of “Bronze Star Brad’s” campaign pulled over on Election Night by the Newtown Police Department and given a warning for DUI. But why should anybody assume that the dirt was dug up by a DemocRAT?

Meanwhile From Columbus

Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says another e-mail everybody was waiting for yesterday was the one from Ohio Republican Attorney General Mike DeWhine, reporting at over-taxed payer expense from the U.S. Supreme Court about the latest on the Obamacare hearings at the U.S. Supreme Court: ”Monday’s arguments dealt with whether the case was ready to be decided, which we believe it is. Judging by the questions that the justices asked, it would appear they believe that, as well. Tuesday, the Court was scheduled to hear arguments on the most contentious issue — the constitutionality of the individual mandate. We do not expect a decision until June. I will keep you updated as things progress.”

Curiously, although the e-mail was paid for by DeWhiner’s campaign committee, DeWhine’s Update on the Obamacare Lawsuit did not contain the customary request for donations (like we saw yesterday). Do you think it was an oversight?

Gerry Manders also says Mike’s cousin Kevin is counting the days until next month’s Friday the 13th meeting of the Ohio GOP Central Committee to see where he might be working on April 14th.

More Big Liberal Media Hype

This week’s we’re is still exploiting the Trayvon Martin Murder Case. Was Obama just playing the Race Card when he said “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon?” With only “222” more days until the Presidential Elections, the Obama Re-election Campaign at the White House is now selling Obama hoodies for $46.85 (plus God knows how much for shipping and handling).

Was 2012 Republican Presidential Candidate Newt Gingrich just playing politics when he said the president should have empathy for all families — not just black families — who lose a child?

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose what Newt said during an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer: “Every single American of every background is endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, the pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We should be concerned about any young American of any background who ends up getting killed.”

Why did Obama Supporters in the Press Wearing Hoodies ignore former NAACP leader C.L. Bryant, when he accused Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton of “exploiting” the Trayvon Martin tragedy to “racially divide this country.”

When will DemocRAT House members be bringing Trayvon’s parents to Capitol Hill?

What if the minority guy who shot Trayvon Martin was a Registered DemocRAT?

Why did Trayvon’s mother trademark her son’s name to cash in on the hype?

Would The Fishwrap be trying to sell photos from the Trayvon Martin rally on Fountain Square they also helped to promote?

And why did Cincinnati Girly Mayor Mark Mallory post a picture of himself in a hoodie on his Facebook page? (Below the picture, it says, “I am Trayvon Martin!”)

Speaking of our Girly Mayor, who’s paying for his latest trip to the White House with these so-called business leaders? Why isn’t Liz Rogers on this list? She got $1 million for a soul food restaurant. $1 million seems like big business to us. Since when did some of those Liberal Leeches become big business?
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1979, the worst accident in the history of the U.S. nuclear power industry began when a pressure valve in the Unit-2 reactor at Three Mile Island failed to close. Now there’s an event we think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press might remember.

The Cincinnati City Mess You Will Only Read Here

Last Friday, we told you the useless Cincinnati police chief, James Craig, the one who can’t make arrests or uphold Ohio law, also can’t vote because he hasn’t registered here. We know why. Craig’s legal residence is still in California. Guess he was no really sure those people in Portland Maine were serious about keeping him there.

Craig’s wife Mary doesn’t live in Cincinnati. She owns a business based in Culver City, California, a big home health care concern called Gentle Care, Inc. It encompasses a large geographic area covering Los Angeles, Orange and Ventura Counties. Mary has no intention of ever moving to Cincinnati. She didn’t bother to go with him to his last job in Portland, Maine, either.

James Craig doesn’t have an Ohio driver’s license. You guessed it, he still has a California driver’s license. He hasn’t been employed in California since early 2009, and he probably couldn’t pass the Ohio driver’s license test, just like he can’t pass the state police certification test. He apparently has no interest in getting an Ohio driver’s license.

Useless chief Craig grabs our money, but he continually gives all of us The Finger, showing his utter disdain by not being certified as an Ohio police officer, not registering to vote in this jurisdiction, and not even bothering to have an Ohio driver’s license. He’s an insult to the 1,057 personnel who serve under him and an insult to the citizens of Cincinnati.

When he was sworn in Craig said, “Cincinnati, I won’t let you down.” He’s let us down from the first day.

Our reader Jeremy responds to the piece about Cincinnati Bell: “Brett was absolutely right. Cincinnati Bell is pushing fiber optics as the big new money maker. If you get their FO Cable TV, it breaks down with regularity. The techs from the Philippines, which are all you can reach, won’t schedule service for at least 4-7 days, so have no TV, internet or wired phone service during that time. Their repair service and dispatch service are totally closed down on the weekends. My advice is stay away from Cincinnati Bell. Period.”

There are 296,482 stories in the Queen City. This has been another of them.

Finally, Winton Woods superintendent has announced her wishes to outsource custodial services to save money. Immediately, failed CFT “president” Julie SellYourSoul e-mailed her teachers asking them to attend a Winton Woods school board meeting to protest the recommendations of the Winton Woods superintendent. What doesn’t SellYourSoul understand about the CFT teachers? One: teachers are all on spring break. Two: teachers don’t give a rat’s patootie about no damn protest. Three: any message from SellYourSoul should be considered comedy.

Bluegrass Battles

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders with only 55 more days until that all-important Bluegrass Primary Election, when we start seeing any of those surviving Republican Presidential Candidates in Northern Kentucky? For that matter, we could stand a little activity from all those people running for Goof Doofus’ seat in Congress.
Meanwhile, Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose say it looks like Obama has escalated the rhetoric against the Hispanic Community, now that the new Black Panther Party has offered to confiscate $2 million dollars from the black community and offer a $1 million reward for anyone who assassinates the Hispanic man who shot and killed an African American teenager in Florida over a month ago.

And with all the talk in the Republican corner of Mark O Rubio being the choice for VP can we expect to see him on Fox News asking Hispanics who want to be Americans to protest Obama’s and Eric Holder’s decision to execute an innocent Hispanic for defending his property.

Ken said he wonders if a month from now Obama will report the killing of a white student this weekend at Mississippi State University in which surveillance cameras identified three black yoofs running away from the scene. Ken also wonders when Obama will finally realized that he needs the white vote to win in November. And if he turns against the black community, just like he just did against the Hispanics, the only voters he’ll have left are the Eskimos.
The Blower continues to look for a story of all the black yoof shot last weekend in the South Side of Chicago but not yet reported in the few pages that remain in the paper previously known as The Fishwrap. Ken said in Chicago these are not reported as murders. They’re called Mercy Killings, as in “Mercy, he was trying to take my drug profits.”
Ken CamBoo says it looks like the Kentucky House and Senate have figured a way to eliminate the $32 Billion unfunded Kentucky Retirement System. Ken said one of the laws passed by the House and Senate provides that all POW/ MIA flags flown in Kentucky must be made in America. Ken said now if we can only get our Congressman and Senators in Washington to get Obama to build that pipeline, we could wipe out our National Debt and start giving goodies away.
In a related story, it looks like Obama has finally convinced black Americans to get a job. Ken said by Election Day, every black man and woman will have a job protesting something that they do not like or demanding something for free that they’re not already getting.

LINCOLN-REAGAN DAY HOT LINE

e-mail your testy texts tonight.

Some Republican Praising items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Republican Praising subscribers.

LINK OF THE DAY

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Real E-mails from Real Subscribers

Any Supreme Court Justice who rules against Obamacare would surely be racist. —Obama Supporters in the Press
Only 62% think Obamacare will cause companies to drop Employee Health Insurance. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Remember when I said we had to pass Obamacare so we would know what’s in it? —Nancy Pelosi
If the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare, could I say “At least they didn’t say my version was unconstitutional?” —Mitt Romney
With only “223” more days until the November Elections, why should I get out of the race? I only need 74% of the remaining delegates. —Rick Santorum
What percentage of the Central Committee members do I need to keep my job as Ohio RINO Party Boss? —Kevin DeWhine
I was in Washington to hear the arguments on Monday so I could send out more e-mails at over-taxed paper expense to keep my constituents updated on the progress, not just as another excuse to ask for donations. — Kevin’s Cousin, Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine
Why would Republicans pony up $150-per-couple just to hear me speak at this year’s better-late-than-never Hamilton County RINO Party “Lincoln and Reagan Are Turning Over in Their Graves Because of What We’ve Done to Their Party” Dinner, when they can see the same blather on Fox TV for free? —Karl Rove
Do you think The Fishwrap likes my proposal to have work requirements for Section 8 recipients? —Congressman Steve Chabothead
Was it silly for Huffpost Politics to report Mean Jean Schmidt won’t commit to revealing her job negotiations with lobbyists? [SEE THAT STORY HERE] We only hire former lawmakers with influence and credibility. She doesn’t have any, and nobody will have to pay attention to anything that stupid woman has to say ever again. —Lobbyists on K Street
So who is the high-ranking member of “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign pulled over on election night by the Newtown Police Department and given a warning for DUI? —Dirt Digging DemocRATS
Four more years! Four More Years! —Cincinnati Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil
Do you think I’ll do a better job getting the ball over the plate than our Girly Mayor did when I throw out the first pitch on the Reds Opening Day? —Senile Sheriff Si Leis
Please stop telling the truth to consumers about our lousy Cincinnati Bell service. Any time you call for service, you get some fool in the Philippines who hates the United States. But they work cheap and allow me to keep pulling down millions in salary each year while helping cover-up that “Erasure-Gate” Scandal at Taft High School, especially since an investigative report published in Sunday’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution found indications of standardized test cheating in school systems throughout the U.S. —Jack Cassidy, CEO, Cincinnati Bell.
Got any more interesting information on me? —Cincinnati’s Useless Police Chief
Please don’t ask why Gannett’s First Amendment Attorney Jack Greiner hasn’t filed a Freedom of Information Request after Judge Nadel sealed the so-called settlement documents (where Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s former employer was seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide)? —The Forest Hills Urinal
We’re glad nobody’s reporting the facts to our citizens like those guys in Lebanon. —Forrest Gump Schools
After Whitney Houston’s death was determined to be drowning in a bath tub, we knew it wouldn’t be long before Ryan Widmer’s name popped up again looking for an appeal! —Warren County Prosecutors
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, I predicted Liberals would be allowed to make Dick Cheney jokes after the former Republican Vice President’s heart transplant last week. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Are all of my snitches still on Spring Break? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
We’re not on Spring Break. It just seems that way. —Candidates Still Not Running Very Hard for Goof Doofus’ Seat in Congress in Just 56 More Days
You know it is a sure sign of spring when UK and Louisville are still playing basketball and UC and Xavier are back home watching the Final Four on TV. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
Don’t you wish Morehead State were still in the NCAA Tournament? We’d be looking into the stands for all the good looking fans that show support for their team, and/or extracurricular activities. —Sportscasters on TV
The Morehead the merrier! —Horny in Hebron
What kind of T-shirts could we wear to our game? —Wilder Women
On this day in 1998, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved use of the drug Viagra, an oral medication that treats impotence, and Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says, “Next to BB&BJ Day, all my old friends and I say Viagra Day at Morehead is our favorite holiday of the entire year.” —Hurley the Historian
And that’s why we chose Rodney Dangerfield’s, “I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Trish the Dish wants to know why somebody sent her that Morehead State T-Shirt. —TV 19 News
Sheree Paolello says somebody sent her one, too. —Jack Atherton

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower ridicules Obamacare to show passing unconstitutional laws is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Disingenuous DemocRAT member of Congress.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Nancy Pelosi.

SUPREME COURT HOT LINE

e-mail your ridiculous rulings today.

Some extrajudicial comments in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally extrajudicial subscribers.

Link of the Day

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

Monday, March 26, 2012

What Ordinary Americans Think About America’s Future

Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen reports only 31% of Likely U.S. Voters say the country is heading in the right direction. That doesn’t sound very optimistic, does it?

That’s why The Whistleblower rounded up some of our usual suspects. We found them praying for jobs at a candle-light vigil around the Peace Pole in Anderson Township Sunday morning. We just had to find out what all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span ordinary people thought America was still on the wrong track under the Obama Administration.

Mama Maruska, Retired Homemaker: Tell those Republicans in Congress things have gotten so bad, my children are out of work. They’ve all moved back home with me along with the grandchildren, and not one of those ingrates is even willing to clean up his own room.
Porky Dorkman, Student: My teacher (who belongs to the union) said everybody in the class had to go home and tell our parents to call their Republican Members of Congress and demand they reject Congressman Paul Ryan’s “Path to Prosperity” that would cut $5.3 Trillion from Obama’s budget over the next ten years.
Marlene Mandible, Totally Unemployable: I hope those Republicans in Congress forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” Ladies on “The View” said DemocRAT Senate Leader Harry Reid will be forced to shut down the government right before Election Day.
Norma Rashid, Former TV5 Anchorwoman: If Republican in Congress would only forget their “Path to Prosperity,” I could sit home alone waiting for Charlie to call, except every time the phone rings it’s just another recorded message from Michelle telling me not to forget to vote for Obama in only “224” more days.
Linda Libel, Gossip Columnist: If Republicans in Congress would only forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” maybe The Blower would find more space to publish some of my salacious scandals and all those tasty tidbits about local elected officials and other public figures that my snitches have told me were cheating on their spouses.
Jack Mehoff, Used Solar Panel Salesman: Republicans in Congress need to forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” just so there’ll be more money in that government loan guarantee program that funded companies like Obama’s campaign contributors ran at Solyndra.
Suzie Soccermom, Tea Partier: If Republicans in Congress would only forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” I could go back to watching “Saturday Night Live” mocking Republican debates on Fox News to see Newt Gingrih, Rick Santorum, and Ron Paul should drop out.
Reverum Calhoun, Minister: Was Obama desperate this week when he played the Race Card by commenting on the Trayvon Martin shooting case, especially when he said, “You know, if I had a son, he would look like Trayvon.”
Emily Frump, Retired City Employee: When will our New Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil stop giving millions away Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s relatives so they can open doomed soul food restaurants and start worrying about my pension plan.
Bunky Tadwell, The Bard of Cleves: If Republicans forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” over-taxed payers will be even deeper in debt. And if Obama gets himself re-elected, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
Seedy Diehl, Northern Kentucky Homeless Guy: Now that everybody knew Obama’s $447 Billion Stimulus Plan really wouldn’t result in any new jobs in Greater Cincinnati, is it all right if I return to my refrigerator box at the hobo camp under the Brent Spence Bridge?
CH Snitch, 1000 Main Street: Now that everybody’s forgotten about Obama’s Historic “Bridge Too Far” Campaign Speech in Cincinnati that won’t result in any new bridges being built, County Commissioners and Cincinnati City Clowncil can return to blaming each other for a lack of economic opportunity in the tri-state.
Sid Schlock, Slumlord: If Republicans in Congress would only forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” some of those deadbeats on welfare who live in my run-down property might even be able to afford to pay the rent and I can wangle myself a seat on the CMHA Board.
Ken CamBoo, Northern Kentucky Journalist: If Republicans in Congress would only forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” the cost of gasoline will be so high, people won’t be able to afford to drive to the unemployment office.
Tea Party Tim: If Republicans in Congress forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” we’ll surely be including it with our Demands for a Balanced Budget at our big April 15 Tax Day 2012 rally on Fountain Square, where we’ll kicking off the march to November.
Earl Pitts, Taxidermist: If Republicans in Congress forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” I can make another campaign commercial, just like I did against That Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt.
Ed Norton, Currently Furloughed Northern Kentucky Sewer Worker: If Republicans in Congress forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” will Obama’s top advisors still be saying, “Unemployment won’t be key in 2012.”

REAL AMERICANS HOT LINE

e-mail your ordinary views and opinions today.

Some focus group comments in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally unfocused subscribers.

Link of the Day

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Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Blower’s Week in Review

OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when everybody reported that Friday marked the two-year anniversary of Obama’s so-called national health care law, and Republicans, unable to push repeal through the DemocRAT-controlled Senate, are now looking to the U.S. Supreme Court for relief. The high court will hold hearings this coming week on a multi-state challenge of the law’s constitutionality.

Newt Gingrich says, “Next week, the Supreme Court opens its historic arguments to decide whether the Congress overstepped its constitutional bounds. I strongly support the 26 states that will argue that the Congress had no legitimate authority to pass Obamacare. If this law is allowed to stand, there will be no end to the power of government. The government will ultimately control very personal decisions over life and death.

Maybe that’s why even Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine says he’ll also be in Washington to hear the arguments on Monday. Americans overwhelmingly oppose Obamacare, and DeWhiner is anxious for the high court to hear Ohio’s case next week so he can send out more e-mails at over-taxed paper expense keeping his constituents updated on the progress, if only as another excuse to ask for donations.

OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama’s used all that jet fuel to fly around the country on Air Force One this week campaigning at over-taxed payers’ expense so he could claim those $4-per-gallon gasoline prices are “not his fault.”

Obama was on a 5,000-mile, four-state, two-day trip on Air Force One to blame Republicans for high gasoline prices. Flying Wednesday to camera-ready podiums in Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Colorado, he touted his efforts to reduce the nation’s use of gasoline. Obama’s 5,000-mile trip will consume roughly 25,000 gallons of jet fuel, according to Boeing. That adds up to a fuel bill of $80,000 assuming the Air Force buys jet fuel at the cheapest cost, now estimated at $3.20 a gallon by the U.S. Energy Administration. The retail price for jet-fuel at local airports is just over $6 a gallon, including taxes

Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich continued to keep Obama on defense over energy policy. The issue is not going away, and during his damage control tour this week, he’s done a rhetorical 180 on drilling for oil and Keystone XL, both of which he now says he’s eager to facilitate—even though his destructive policies haven’t changed.

AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was in Columbus, when Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said it was just as The Blower had predicted: the struggle for the soul of the Ohio RINO Party may be coming to a head soon. This week we saw brackets for the State Party Shootout, when GOP Chairmen from Ohio’s seven largest counties signed a letter to overthrow Ohio RINO Boss Kevin DeWhine. They represent 51% of the vote.

The big problem after the 2010 Elections was (as The Blower attempted to point out on numerous occasions), was that at the time, our Tea Partiers and Social Conservatives just didn’t have enough votes. Now it would appear as if they do.

MONDAY in our Official “Let’s All Go on Spring Break” E-dition, The Blower was looking for some major yabbos:

This year for Spring Break, The Blower is working on a list of guys who took their wives and families to the Redneck Riviera, Naples, Destin, or Key Largo, just so they could spend all day on the beach ogling young girls’ breasts. You’ll never guess whose names are on that list.

We asked an aging attorney acquaintance why he always goes down to Naples on Spring Break, and he told us, “Because I can.”

At least this year the Reds’ Spring Training games won’t be a distraction, like they always used to be in Sarasota. But Tri-staters down here on Siesta Key can still keep up on what’s happening in Washington and the ‘Nati by checking out The Blower. And even with only 64 more days till the May 22 Primary Elections in Kentucky, using this internet thingy, we can be anywhere instantly.

Did you see what happened when Fox News producer Jesse Watters went down to Panama City, FL to interview college students on spring break about Barack Obama? [WATCH IT HERE]

[READ MORE HERE]

TUESDAY in our Special “BB&BJ Day” E-dition, The Blower urged ladies to give their guys what they really wanted and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

On this date in 1854, the Republican Party was founded in Ripon, Wisconsin to oppose the spread of slavery into the western territories, and his year Obama celebrated the event working on his brackets for the 2012 NCAA Basketball Tournament. —Hurley the Historian

Now that I’ve won the 2012 Presidential Primary in Puerto Rico, does that mean all Latinos will be voting Republican this year in only “230” more days? —Mitt Romney

Not everybody at that St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Pittsburgh booed me. —Joe Biden

We’re accomplishing so little in Congress these days, maybe we should all be on Spring Break. —John Boehner and Harry Reid

Elected Officials say they want to get all that big money out of politics and back into their pockets where it belongs. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders

[READ MORE HERE]

WEDNESDAY in our Special “Are You Sure It’s Really Spring?” E-dition, The Blower asked, “How do you know your Equinox is really Vernal?” and we wished everybody a “Happy Springtime.”

Or so they say. No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Mark Twain’s “In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.”

And with travel restrictions to Mexico still in effect, where else would Obama’s teen-age daughter Malia be spending her Spring Break? In Mexico, of course. But not to worry. Malia Obama and her friend were being guarded by 25 U.S. Secret Service agents as well as Mexican police, courtesy of We the Over-Taxed Payers.

[READ MORE HERE]

THURSDAY, in our Special “March Madness” E-dition, The Blower published more sports clichés:

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says today is one of the biggest days ever for local basketball fans, what with six Tri-State teams making it to the Sweet 16 of the 2012 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament— UC, Xavier, Ohio State, Ohio University, Louisville, and Kentucky. Now let’s see how make it to the Elite Eight.

March Madness showcases the best of college sports. Unfortunately, this year’s installment of the Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament also highlights the worst in wasteful government spending, according to the Taxpayers Protection Alliance. The $2.7 billion price tag associated with the arenas used during the NCAA tournament may give March Madness a maddening new meaning for over-taxed payers, whose March Madness Brackets look something like this.

In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker Obama Supporters in the Press are all wondering how our Bracketologist–In-Chief (make that Baracketologist) is doing with his predictions. Obama now ranks in the 98th percentile in ESPN’s “Tournament Challenge,” with 460 out of a possible 640 points. That was good for a rank of No. 131,052 out of the millions submitted on the network’s website.

[READ MORE HERE]

FRIDAY in our Special “Disgraced RINO Party Chairman” E-dition, The Blower said some disgraced RINO Party Chairmen just couldn’t take a hint:

Today it’s the Top Ten Excuses Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine got caught squandering Republican Party resources to defeat fellow Republicans in the March 6 primaries:

10. I forgot 9. The dog ate it 8. She told me she loved me 7. I did it to help the homeless 6. The Devil made me do it 5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that? 4. I’m Mike DeWhine’s cousin 3. I was framed 2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake

…and the Number One Reason Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine got caught squandering Republican Party resources to defeat fellow Republicans in the March 6 primaries is… Ohio Republican Secretary of State Jon Husted said nobody would ever find out.

SATURDAY in our Special “High Gasoline Prices,” The Blower reported Obama was still claiming It was not how fault:

With only “226” more days until the Presidential Elections in November, Obama’s still using all that jet fuel to fly around the country on Air Force One campaigning over-taxed payers expense so he can claim those $4-per-gallon gasoline prices are “not his fault.”

And in another energy-related item, let’s now forget to mention how Obama takes credit, then shifts blame on Solyndra.

[READ MORE HERE]

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says the race continues to be a long, hard slog, with a decreasing likelihood that things will be settled before June 26 (the date of the last election Mitt Romney has 552 of the 1,144 delegates he needs for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination in Tampa. Rick Santorum is a distant second with 249. Newt Gingrich is trailing badly with 135, and Ron Paul is still out of luck and out of money with 71.
VOTER FRAUD: According to the Dissociated Press, Ohio’s top elections official has referred a case of potential voter fraud to the state’s attorney general for investigation. Republican Jon Husted said Friday that an initial review by the Fulton County Board of Elections revealed that an individual appeared to have voted in both northwest Ohio and South Carolina in the 2008 and 2010 general elections. Husted asked Attorney General Mike DeWine to investigate. Is this a big deal or what?!
OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House are spam-gramming their e-mail list asking for people to say “Hell yeah, I’m for Obamacare.” No kidding.
DIRT-DIGGING DEMOCRATS: while “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Press Office may not have found time yet to send out any news releases since his surprise victory over “Mean Jean” Schmidt, Devious DemocRATS say he did find time to attend a lunch for Clermont County 20/20. Since Bronze Star ran on a platform of promising to be the most ethical Congressman ever, The Blower is certain he did not improperly accept a ticket to that luncheon from someone that was in excess of the limitations now placed upon him as a party’s nominee for Congress. That’s why we’ll be scrutinizing every line of his expense reports from now on.
OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “According to a new book, President Obama blames Fox News for his political problems and losing voters. How could Fox News lose him voters? If you’re watching Fox News, you’re probably not voting for him in the first place.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says only 31% of Likely U.S. Voters say the country is heading in the right direction. That doesn’t sound very optimistic, does it?
MEDIA MENDACITY: Speaking of stories The Fishwrap has spun for “Mean Jean,” did you see where they reported that she dropped her $6.8 million defamation lawsuit against David Kevorkian on Thursday because “it was time to move on?” OMG! How will COAST’s Mercenary Attorney Chris Finney ever get his name in the newspaper again?

In a related item, “Mean Jean’s” News Flack Barrett Brunsman says he wishes he could keep his boss’ name out of the news as successfully as her opponent Bronze Star Brad Wenstrup’s Press Office has done ever since his surprise win on March 6.

OHIO RINO PARTY: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders wonders if the date scheduled next month for the Ohio Republican Party to banish Disgraced Party Boss Kevin DeWhine is really Friday the Thirteenth. How would that be for an omen?
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #77 says: Instead of “Progressive,” always use the words “Oppressive” or “Regressive.” When called on this, feign puzzlement. “But how is it progress to steal free citizens’ liberties, money, and hope, and hand it all over to government bureaucrats?”
FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Failed CPS school administrators have one question for Newtown, OH resident and FCPS school superintendent, “Money Bags Mary” Ronan: when will she give back her over-taxed payer supported Lexus R330 and start flying around town on this custom made golden broom?
MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: Metro Mole says both the sports editor and deputy sports editor have resigned. NOBODY can stand Wedgie Washburn, as her slaves call her. Nobody! Soon another score of lucky ones will be gone via buyouts. Quality will not decline — how the hell could it?
HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: Yesterday at the Sharonville Fire House, Alex T. Mall Cop GOP’s Hamilton County RINO Party held a campaign training seminar for candidates, staff, volunteers, and all those interested to learn techniques for running successful campaigns this fall. But The Blower wants to know: who at “Old Blueface’s” Hamilton County RINO Party knew the first thing about running a successful campaign?
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: is urging everyone to support Kevin DeWhine as Ohio Republican Party Chairman. By squandering Republican Party resources to defeat fellow Republicans in Republican primaries rather than save the money to defeat the DemocRATS in November, DeWhine has increased the chances that Barack Obama and Sherrod Brown will carry Ohio. Kevin is also one of the closest allies of 2010 Tax Hiker of the Year Jon Husted and has worked tirelessly to make him next in line for Governor. Republicans for Higher Taxes think that’s great leadership and therefore want DeWhine to remain as Chairman.
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: CNN reporter Drew Griffin is still under fire for sort of using a racial slur on the air this week. Griffin was only quoting somebody who had used the dreaded “N-word.” The Blower is amazed the man still has his job.
THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll Only Read About in The Blower): Cincinnati’s Useless Police Chief James Craig, the one with the sore testicle, is a guy who thinks he is so important he doesn’t have to do what the rest of us do. Drifter Development Director Odis Jones has a bit of trouble giving correct information in order to get a new job. The Mayor’s cousin, black deadbeat Liz Rogers, wants to open a soul food restaurant in the Banks area even though qualified people who aren’t tax dodgers or deadbeats had applied. And our Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s New Extreme City Clown-cil wants four year terms, so they don’t have to face the voters as often. What could possibly be wrong with that idea?
FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Westchester Tea Partiers all got to hear from State Auditor David Yost this week, when he told the same old dead mule story again. But he did allow enough time after the mule story to let some people ask questions. When Sandra the ( tax fighter from Lebanon ) asked Mr. Yost why she was not allowed to have a copy of the requested forensic audit from Lebanon City schools, she was told that the public shouldn’t be allowed to see these audits. Maybe Mr. Yost forgot whose tax money they are dealing with.
IN ANDERSON: Gannett’s First Amendment Attorney Jack Greiner still hasn’t filed a Freedom of Information Request after Judge Nadel sealed the so-called settlement documents (where Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s former employer was seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide). If the Forest Hills Urinal isn’t going to do its job, maybe The Blower needs an FOI Guy of its own.
READING THE TEA LEAVES: Even though Tax Day isn’t until April 17 this year, Tea Party Groups are still planning a big “Tax Day 2012” Rally on April 15. Curiously, this year Tax Day isn’t until April 17.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this in his “Turning the Other Cheek,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.

Spring Fashions The girls have started a fashion trend Which I think is nuts They drop their pants for some guy To put a tattoo on their butts.

IN CLERMONT COUNTY:Speaking of Archie the Big Game Hunter, did anyone happen to watch Sunday’s episode of “Harry’s Law,” which is conveniently set in Cincinnati, Ohio? In the ripped-from-the-headlines episode, a public official known as “Choir Boy” liked to preach morals and values carrying around his Bible before he would go into Court and prosecute prostitutes. Funny thing is, the “Choir Boy” was a frequent flyer to a rival escort service himself. Once the sting came to light, the “Choir Boy” was singing a different song. Some are saying at least once former Clermont County Commissioner may have had some trouble watching that episode.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the reason his section was so short yesterday is because he had to let his staff leave early, so they could all get good bar stools to watch UK try to succeed where UC, Xavier, and Ohio University had all failed at the NCAA Basketball tournament.
THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders chicken fried e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court has the usual parade of ugly mugs that the Robster’s readers have come to know and love, including this lovely lady who was apparently incarcerated for bad hair… or at least she should be!
LEGAL UPDATE: Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” Deters was doing for free, said she’d be talking about a couple of upcoming indictments Blower readers will be interested in the next time she’d be on the air, which was Saturday night from 7-9 PM.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1911, the Triangle Shirtwaist Company factory in New York City burned down, killing 145, but curiously, $tan Che$ley didn’t get a dime of that settlement money. What happened?
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose Will Rogers’ “Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.”
CFK-TV: Over at CFK-TV on Anderson Community Television, we still can’t figure out who sent in an that “The Vetting of Chris Bortz” audition tape, but we’re almost sure it wasn’t anybody from Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, since Conservatives are all asking if this is the man they want representing them as the Republican candidate for Hamilton County Commissioner.
THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how $4-per-gallon gasoline prices might enough to bring down Obama in November. “The media just can’t stop hyping those high gasoline prices these days,” Kane explained. “I remember 1980, when the feisty Mt. Washington Press published our “Weekly Area Gasoline Price Index” as a public service. Those days, people were outraged when self service prices were $1.10 per gallon.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “225” days away and the Bluegrass primary in May 22 is 58 days away.

Monday we’ll delivering some low blows in our Below the Beltway E-dition.

Tuesday you’ll be reading “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” and trying to ignore March Madness, since UC and Xavier are no longer in it.

Wednesday will be checking again to see how those Dirt-Digging DemocRATS at the DNC are progressing with their big local opposition research project.

Thursday, we’ll be trying to find out the favorites to replace Disgraced Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine.

The first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “There once was an Old April Fool.” How timely will that be?

And all next week, Channel 19 will still be wondering what happened to all those clocks.

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

Link of the Day

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Obama’s Hall of Blame

With only “226” more days until the Presidential Elections in November, Obama’s still using all that jet fuel to fly around the country on Air Force One campaigning over-taxed payers expense so he can claim those $4-per-gallon gasoline prices are “not his fault.”
Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich continues to keep Obama on defense over energy policy. The issue is not going away, and during his damage control tour this week, he’s done a rhetorical 180 on drilling for oil and Keystone XL, both of which he now says he’s eager to facilitate—even though his destructive policies haven’t changed.

And in another energy-related item, let’s now forget to mention how Obama takes credit, then shifts blame on Solyndra.

At the same time, in the 2012 GOP Presidential Primary Campaign, political insiders say Rick Santorum may need a “Sanitarium” after he said we might as well have Obama over Romney.
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders wonders if the date scheduled next month for the Ohio Republican Party to banish Disgraced Party Boss Kevin DeWhine is really Friday the Thirteenth? How would that be for an omen?
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says Pete Rose Betting Tips were accurate once again, because if you only had UC plus 14 points against Ohio State in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Thursday night, you still lost.
Disingenuous DemocRAT U.S. Senator says he’s “Fighting for Cincinnati,” when he called on John Boehner and the Republicans in the House to pass the Senate-approved transportation jobs bill (blah, blah, blah), which would provide critical funds for the repairs of Brent Spence Bridge (yada, yada, yada). At least that’s what Sherrod’s over-taxed payer funded e-mail newsletter says.
Meanwhile, That Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt won’t commit to revealing her job negotiations with lobbyists. At least that’s some of the bloggers are saying.

And speaking of stories The Fishwrap has spun for “Mean Jean,” did you see where they reported that she dropped her $6.8 million defamation lawsuit against David Kervorkian on Thursday because “it was time to move on?” OMG! How will COAST’s Mercenary Attorney Chris Finney ever get his name in the newspaper again?

And down at Brunsman’s alma mater, Metro Mole says both the sports editor and deputy sports editor have resigned. NOBODY can stand Wedgie Washburn, as her slaves call her. Nobody! Soon another score of lucky ones will be gone via buyouts. Quality will not decline — how the hell could it?

Today at the Sharonville Fire House, the Alex T. Mall Cop GOP’s Hamilton County RINO Party is holding campaign training seminar for candidates, staff, volunteers, and all those interested to learn techniques for running successful campaigns this fall. But The Blower wants to know: who at “Old Blueface’s” Hamilton County RINO Party knows the first thing about running a successful campaign?
And Hurley the Historian remembers on this date in 1958, Elvis Presley was inducted into the U.S. Army. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Elvis’ “The army teaches boys to think like men.” The Blower remembers all the hype that story got back then. Can you imagine what it would be like today?
The “Road to Repeal Obamacare Rally” will take place on Saturday afternoon. The Blower wonders how many local Patriots were on the Eastern Hills Tea Party’s bus that left Friday night from the Montgomery area
Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says with all you read about how Failed Cincinnati Schools Superintendent Mary Ronan was immediately rehired the moment she “retired” these days, The Blower is surprised our Kneepad Liberals in the Press haven’t followed up on recent allegations of cheating at Taft High School, especially after The CityBleat article “Miracle or Mirage,” (Feb. 27) provided convincing evidence that the Taft “stellar” student performance on the Ohio Graduation Tests was due to erasures and the lack of due diligence to investigate the matter by the Ohio Department of Education. [READ IT HERE]

In Anderson, “In Russ We Trust” Jackson says Township Trustees changed the time of their monthly meetings to 5:30 PM (starting in April) so residents can demand the resignation of Disgraced Trustee Kevin O’Brien and still get home at a decent time for dinner.
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how $4-per-gallon gasoline prices might enough to bring down Obama in November. “The media just can’t stop hyping those high gasoline prices these days,” Kane explained. “I remember 1980, when the feisty Mt. Washington Press published our “Weekly Area Gasoline Price Index” as a public service. Those days people were outraged when self service prices were $1.10 per gallon.”

The Cincinnati City Mess You’ll Only Read About in The Blower

Part I: The Useless Police Chief Craig: Cincinnati’s useless police chief, James Craig, the one with the sore testicle, is a guy who thinks he is so important he doesn’t have to do what the rest of us do. We’ve reported how he’s desperately trying to get out of taking the state police certification exam, which he is too dumb to pass. Now, we have information Craig hasn’t bothered to register to vote in the jurisdiction he’s sworn to serve. Craig is not registered to vote in Hamilton County. He can’t be bothered.

Previously, he was the police chief in Portland, Maine. He didn’t bother to register to vote in that jurisdiction, either.

Part II: The Drifter Development Director Odis Jones: It seems the drifter Odis Jones, 40, has a bit of trouble giving correct information in order to get a new job. He has said he has a “real estate certification” from Harvard University. The trouble is, Harvard University doesn’t agree with that. They’ve never even had him listed in their comprehensive computer registration system. Nada, zilch. Secondly, Harvard says they don’t even give real estate certifications and never have.

Next, Odis lists on his resume as being the “special projects manager for the city manager of Battle Creek, Michigan for five years”. Again, not true. Odis worked for Battle Creek first as a mere intern, starting August 4, 1998. His affiliation with the city of Battle Creek in any capacity ended on January 13, 2000. He was there a little over sixteen months. Hey, Odis, sixteen months is not five years, if you can count.

Third, Odis lists on his resume he was city manager of Keokuk, Iowa “2007-2008″, which makes it appear he was there one to two years. Again, not true. He worked there for just four months and he just about bankrupted that city in those four months, along with the good possibility of sexual harassment lawsuits looming. The first week he was there, he announced he was going to build a new safety building, a project not approved by anyone.

As recently as the four months ago, Odis stated he is a member of the “American Planning Association.” The fact is, he hasn’t been a member of that Association since the year 2004.

Also as recently as a few months ago, Jones states he is a member of “The International Council of Shopping Centers”. The truth is, he let his membership lapse in 2010 and he isn’t a member at all.

Odis, do you make the candy called fudge? We thought maybe you do, since you’re so adept at fudging facts.

Bluegrass Booze and Bravos

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says it appears Obama has alienated another group of voters with his decision to send Eric Holder and his goons after a poor Hispanic just trying to defend his neighborhood. Ken said it appears that Holder and Obama want to exempt blacks from the Florida law that allows people to kill someone if they feel threatened.
In other news, on the South Side of Chicago, 40 some blacks killed each other in gang related incidents last weekend and not a word was uttered by either Obama or Holder. Ken wonders if the deceased were registered Republicans.
Ken CamBoo said he is waiting for the VFW Posts throughout America to lead a protest to insist that if we are going to charge Sergeant Bales with 17 counts of murder with the killing of Afghans last week, should we not first hold the trial of the Muslim slime who killed our troops at Ft. Hood in Texas several years ago? Obama and Holder want to clear that murdering Muslim because he suffered from PTSD after listening to stories from troops who actually served in combat.
Meanwhile, Obama Supporters in the Press are all going after that CNN reporter who dared to use the “N-word” on live TV.
Finally, the CamBoozler says the reason his section is so short today is because he had to let his staff leave early, so they could all get good bar stools to watch UK try to succeed where UC failed at the NCAA Basketball tournament Friday night.

OBAMA BLAME GAME HOT LINE

e-mail your pitiful excuses today.

Some buck-passing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally buck-passing subscribers, but we could always use more.

Link of the Day

Obama To Heckler: “Show Me Some Courtesy”

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

Friday, March 23, 2012

Top Ten List

Today it’s the Top Ten Excuses Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine got caught squandering Republican Party resources to defeat fellow Republicans in the March 6 primaries:

10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’m Mike DeWhine’s cousin
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake

And in a Related Story…

Republicans for Higher Taxes is urging everyone to support Kevin DeWhine as Ohio Republican Party Chairman. By squandering Republican Party resources to defeat fellow Republicans in Republican primaries rather than save the money to defeat the DemocRATS in November, DeWhine has increased the chances that Barack Obama and Sherrod Brown will carry Ohio. Kevin is also one of the closest allies of 2010 Tax Hiker of the Year Jon Husted and has worked tirelessly to make him next in line for Governor. Republicans for Higher Taxes think that’s great leadership and therefore want DeWhine to remain as Chairman.

More March Madness

In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says everybody’s buzzing about that big NCAA men’s basketball game between UC and Ohio State. Imagine— Our Pete Rose Betting Tips say UC is only seven-point underdog. The Blower says don’t bet that they’ll beat the spread.

Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus remembers last week Obama hopped on Air Force One for an over-taxed payer funded re-election campaign photo op during half time at a first-round small time NCAA tournament game in Dayton, where he got interviewed on cable channel TruTV? Yesterday, over-taxed payers flew him back to Columbus for another campaign speech. What a coincidence! The line of OSU students waiting for tickets was almost as long as the line at the unemployment office.

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1775, Patrick Henry said, “Give me Liberty or Give me Death,” but we’re sure nothing Obama said yesterday to attempt to defend his indefensible energy policy in Columbus will be anywhere as memorable, although you could be sure all our Obama Supporters in the Press would be doing their best.

Troublemaking Tailgater Tino Delgato says Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory really put the whammy on UC. He bet the Columbus Mayor on the UC would win the game. Everybody was surprised he bet ice cream. Tino thought he’d be betting some of that million dollar soul food from Mahogany’s. Better yet Mallory would retire if lost; that way there would be some consolation. Go Figure!!!

Speaking of easy-to-get-into events, how about the Cincinnati New Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil’s big public hearing to generate support for their proposed four-year terms. Fewer than a dozen people showed up and only four asked to speak, one of whom was Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, who thought four-year terms for DemocRATS on Clown-cil was a wonderful idea.
Once again, That Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt refused to answer questions about her surprise loss in the March 6 Primary Election. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Oliver Goldsmith’s “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.” Mean Jean’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman says maybe if she keeps ignoring the question, the news media will forget that she lost. Curiously enough, with those dirt-diggers from the DemocRAT Opposition Researcher Squad still hard at work, folks in “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Press Office are doing their very best not to remind them.
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, basketball fans were asking Charles Foster Kane about that time he drove to Louisville to watch his UC classmate Oscar Robertson and the rest of the UC men’s basketball team in the Final Four at Freedom Hall in Louisville. “It was really an eventful journey,” Kane explained, especially the part where I learned everything I ever wanted to know about Southern small town justice. I was arrested for allegedly ‘passing an unloading school bus’ that was really a ‘fruit truck.’ I sort of got the idea that the fix was in when I entered the Carrollton, Kentucky courtroom and the judge greeted the arresting officer “Hello, Son.”

More Cincinnati Mess

We have more information to follow up on our story yesterday about former Michigan football player and drifter Odis Jones being named as Cincinnati economic development director. He hasn’t started here yet, but his shadowy past precedes him.

Odis Jones has bounced around in jobs more than a basketball during March Madness.

One of the multitude of jobs he had was as city administrator in Keokuk, Iowa. He stayed at that job for a total of four months before bouncing to the next one. He was paid $8,000 by the town to help buy a home in Keokuk. Instead, he pocketed the money and rented a small apartment. He never brought his supposed wife and family to the town. He insisted on coming in as a new hire with six weeks vacation. He also demanded paid membership in any club of his choice. He had a travel allowance and the city fathers suspected he used city money for plane tickets to fly to job interviews in other states. It was common knowledge during his employment that he was out of the city more than he was in it. When he left after four months, to take yet another job, he blatantly demanded severance pay, which he did not receive.

As a new hire, meeting the Keokuk police chief for the first time, Jones told him, “In my previous jobs I’ve hired and fired police chiefs. And I can fire you.”

While Jones was in Keokuk, there were multiple disturbing reports of sexual harassment. In the city hall offices he was known to come up behind female employees and rub his crotch against them, then claim it was an accident. With other employees, he would stand too close to them. He told several female employees of his wish for them to perform oral sex on him. He told the city clerk, who had red hair, “I’m a member of the Mile High Club, but I’ve never had sex with a redhead on a plane yet.”

Is this what we can expect in Cincinnati?

Bluegrass Builders

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the Home Builders Association of Northern Kentucky is holding a forum for the folks who want to replace Goof Doofus as our next Congressman. The Blower found it amusing that not one candidate found it necessary to ask the builders what is causing all the flooding in and around the subdivisions being developed in Northern Kentucky and to see if they believed SD#1 was doing and adequate job managing these storm water programs.
Ken CamBoo said he was especially surprised that Judge Once Moore from Boondoggle County did not propose digging a tunnel from Boondoggle County to Louisiana to ship all the algae being produced in the holding ponds of Boondoggle County to one of the refineries Obama plans to build to replace the oil refineries now being used to propel our economic engine.

Ken said it will be interesting to see the fight which could develop between Judge Once Moore and the Home Builders to see who receives the revenue from the sale of these algae to Obama’s Energy Czar.

In a related story Ken CamBoo said all those candidates seeking the Goofsters Job may want to ask Judge Once Moore if he will be constructing a holding pond to retain all the water that will now be produced by runoff from the newly constructed road that was suppose to transport all those gamblers from Burlington Pike to the new casino at Turfway Park. Ken said surely the Judge would not allow this water to enter the already flooded Elijah Creek that flows near this new roadway and creates problems with each rainfall.

Finally, Ken CamBoo says he doesn’t understand all the hype for that NCAA Basketball Game in Columbus, Ohio last night, when Kentucky isn’t playing until the Wildcats take their revenge against the Hoosiers of Indiana Friday night.

Meanwhile, the Carrollton Kentucky Chamber of Commerce says to tell Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane he’ll be welcome anytime he wants to drive through town on the way to Louisville. In fact, they’ve even leave the light on for him at the court house. It’s changed a lot since the last time he was there.

Stories We’re Working On

Obama blames Congress for Solyndra
Obama now backs half a pipeline
Prices Slashed on Limited Edition ‘Obama 44′ Jerseys
Newt holds conference call for bloggers
Will lower income tax bring jobs to Ohio?
Who’s really to blame for high gasoline prices?
Wilder police chief pleads not guilty to DUI

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said was their favorite holiday in March:
(A) Political Backstabbers Day on the Ides of March: 2%
(B) St. Patrick’s Day on March 17: 1%
(C) The arrival of Spring on March 20: 1%
(D) BB&BJ Day: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

BJ Blasphemies

This week, everybody who thinks Catholics are really getting shorted because BB&BJ Day arrives on Sunday during Lent, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. Sin

The winner is Clyde, a Catholic in a Confessional from Campbell County, who says “I can’t see going to Hell for “Beer or Beef,” but I’d spend eternal damnation there for a “BJ.”

Clem wins a big juicy steak from Outback, a case of Budweiser, and an ample supply of Viagra, just to help him make it through the night. His winning limerick is:

This year on BB&BJ Day
Will you have a two-, three- or four-way?
The standard drive-through menu
Doesn’t include a Hibernian venue
So you might have to settle for going halfway.

This year on BB&BJ Day
It’s the day for which all year I pray.
But if my gift she forgets,
And expresses regrets,
I’ll tell her it’s the one gift for which I’d gladly pay.

This year on BB&BJ Day
When lusty lads look for lassies to play.
But on the rainbow streets of Northside,
Where Phil M. and Ben D. doth hide,
It’s the annual equinox if you’re gay!

Now here’s a few from the Anderson Laureate (who really got off on this week’s subject):

At last it’s BB & BJ Day
I’m so happy I don’t know what to say
Should I have a beer AND a BJ?
And how much should I pay?
And can I finish it off with a lay?

No tears, no sadness, no strife
I’ve waited for this all my life
What better could follow?
(Do you think she will swallow?)
And please, pals, do NOT tell my wife.

This year on BB&BJ day
I told my girlfriend I want it my way.
She said “Don’t think you’ll get lucky,
‘Cause I don’t do sucky,
Maybe you can buy some on E-bay.”

This year on BB&BJ Day
I’ll be so happy I won’t know what to say!
I get to eat steak
And all the beer I can take,
But as for the last one, my wife says “NO WAY!”

This year on BB&BJ Day
I hope a hummer is coming my way!
I’ve waited so long,
Wearing my sexiest thong,
Do you think she might think that I’m gay?

If fellatio is not on the menu,
I’ll search for a different venue.
I can still have a steak,
And a beer, if I get a break,
So the BB part will still come true.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“There once was an old April Fool”

NEW STATE PARTY CHAIRMAN HOT LINE

e-mail your notable nominations today.

Some new broom sweeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our new broom sweeping items subscribers, but we could always use more.

Link of the Day

Gas Prices

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

Thursday, March 22, 2011

More Sports Cliches

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says today is one of the biggest days ever for local basketball fans, what with six Tri-State teams making it to the Sweet 16 of the 2012 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament— UC, Xavier, Ohio State, Ohio University, Louisville, and Kentucky. Now let’s see how make it to the Elite Eight.

In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker Obama Supporters in the Press are all wondering how our Bracketologist–In-Chief (make that Baracketologist) is doing with his predictions. Obama now ranks in the 98th percentile in ESPN’s “Tournament Challenge,” with 460 out of a possible 640 points. That’s good for a rank of No. 131,052 out of the millions submitted on the network’s website.

In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says it was just as The Blower predicted: the struggle for the soul of the Ohio RINO Party may be coming to a head soon. This week we saw brackets for the State Party Shootout, when GOP Chairmen from Ohio’s seven largest counties signed a letter to overthrow Ohio RINO Boss Kevin DeWhine, it’ll add up to 51% of the vote. The big problem after the 2010 Elections was (as we attempted to point out on numerous occasions), that at the time, our Tea Partiers and Social Conservatives just didn’t have enough votes.

Locally, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP finally put down his electronic toys and waded into a political issue when joined he joined the other big-county chairmen. Perhaps next month, after the Reds are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, he will actually finally criticize a DemocRAT!

When Chairman DeWine’s resignation was requested over a year ago he declined. Kasich did not press the issue.

And during the past year, DeWhine has been ruining any good will he acquired when he took over in a very good year for Republicans, 2010.

Following the 2010 success, he fired the complete staff of the Ohio Republican Party and brought in new people, from around the country, who had a business relationship with the Householder/ Schmidt/ Husted/ DeWhine consultant. It was the same group that replaced Ohio’s 1990s reputation as a place to do business with a place of high taxes, law suits, and corruption.

The two teams will expose themselves over the next few weeks. The bloggers who have been on the payroll of the Schmidt/ Che$ley/ Householder consultant will not be supportive of change to a less-RINO more-conservative State Party. A new state chairman will be good for our state, but injurious to their gravy train.

John Kasich tried to work quietly with that crowd, feeling that he had bigger fish to fry. He has since found that rather than being supportive of the Ohio turnaround, the DeWine/ Husted alliance was consistently hostile.

The primary election this month, with the help of the TEA party, clearly revealed that it is time for openness, honesty, lower taxes, and more jobs.

The new Republican State Committee will force the change.

The Cincinnati City Mess

When we think the continual mismanagement, malfeasance, and scandals created by Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory and his Kentucky butt boy Dough Boy Honey can’t sink to any lower depths, they manage to indeed sink even further.

Recently we saw blatant racism in their selection of the useless black police chief, Detroit fob James Craig, who can’t pass the state police qualifying exam because his is too dumb. As a result, Craig has no police powers, can’t make an arrest and cannot enforce the law he swore to enforce. And yet the useless guy is still police chief and the police department continues in its poor morale and corruption under his lack of leadership while he stays at home watching TV all day, talking about his sore testicle.

In the last month we saw the giveaway of a million dollars in city money to the Mayor’s cousin, black deadbeat Liz Rogers to open a soul food restaurant in the Banks area even though qualified people who aren’t tax dodgers or deadbeats had applied.

Now we have the corrupt and racist choice of black drifter Odis Jones, a former football player who can’t even spell his first name correctly. Jones has bounced around from one public feeding trough job to another. He is now the highly paid Cincinnati economic development director.

Four months ago, Jones applied to be city manager of Venice, Florida and was turned down flat because of his lack of ability of any kind. Just before that, he applied to be city manager of Lowell, Massachusetts and was quickly eliminated by that city. Shortly before that, it was Huntington, West Virginia, which gave him the bum’s rush. And before that, it was Toledo, Ohio, which rejected him. Those cities were smart in shunning him. Then he came across the criminal Cincinnati duo of Mallory and Dough Boy Honey and those two created a fat job for him as city economic development director. After job refusal after refusal, he finally scored big here.

Who are the losers? The people of Cincinnati.

Meanwhile at the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools, the forever gracious BOREDOM OF EDUCATION is allowing Mary Ronan to retire and come right back as the Superintendent reincarnated as former Superintendent Delhi Mike. This will put her at a salary around a quarter of a million dollars. The Blower wonders if the same opportunity will be given to all of the administrators and teachers she plans to bury.

When announced that 100 teaching positions potentially could be eliminated, failed CFT “president” Julie Murbarak SellYourSoul immediately rushed to the boat dock to watch her plane take off. The teachers cheered her good riddance bon voyage. A cyclical pattern here: SellYourSoul told all the teachers to go to hell and enjoy the trip and Ronan opened up yet another checking account.

And now that FCPS school superintendent is officially the highest paid school superintendent ever to grace the cathedral of learning, teachers want to know where the union president is after she sold them out a year ago? Well, then again, Julie Sellers presence adds no value to the educational process so her absence will not make a difference. As Julie Sellers continues to incessantly bash Republicans, the 44 members (out of over 2,500) that actually showed up for the union meeting are beginning to think that Mrs. Sellers is John Kasich’s bitch.

In a related item, we saw this letter to the editor about The Rotary Club of Cincinnati’s award to Cincinnati Bell’s Jack Cassidy and former Taft High School’s former principal Anthony Smith helps to explain the deafening silence by our Feckless Fishwrappers regarding recent allegations of cheating at Taft High School. [READ IT HERE]

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1933, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Beer and Wine Revenue Act, setting the stage for repeal prohibition when states passed the 21st Amendment. No wonder FDR got re-elected so many times. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception remembers to celebrate that occasion a couple of years ago, Cincinnati symphony conductor Paavo Jarvi was arrested after he passed out dead drunk on Columbia Parkway with his car still running.
Speaking of important things that happened today, we just got an e-mail from Vivacious Vicky Zwissler, Council-gal in Wyoming (the City not the State), reminding us that today is her birthday. Curiously, although our Virtual Redhead is still pretty much of a babe, her e-mail forgot to include her age.

No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s, “Women improve with age. The older I get, the more I like them.”

Over-Taxed Payers of Anderson Township saved a lot of money on salt this year because of the mild weather during the winter. “We have a big pile of it left,” explained Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson, and any time The Whistleblower would like to use a little to rub into Kevin O’Brien’s wounds, we could use as much as we’d like.
Anderson Tea Partier Suezilla Hardenbergh is arranging carpools for Patriots who want to attend Friday’s “Stand Up for Religious Freedom.” Rally at St. Peter and Chains Cathedral. The event is BYOB (Bring Your Own Beads).
Also in Anderson, Wednesday night on Anderson Community Television’s Channel 18, CFK-TV presented Political Science Theater 2012 at 10:30 PM, and Miss Vicki’s award winning interview of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane on ICRC at 11:00 PM.
Finally, in yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he’d heard any more about those DemocRAT Opposition Researchers in town looking through old yearbooks at UC to see what kind of damaging information they could uncover about other local Conservatives to use in this year’s elections.

“I don’t think they were looking to see if I was pledging the fraternity in 1956 that got kicked off campus for having a 15-year-old housemother,” Kane explained. “I’m sure these mudslingers were in town digging up dirt on Republican candidates, or why else would they have called us all those times?”

Bluegrass Brackets

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo with only 61 more days until the big May 22 primary election to find a replacement for Goof Doofus’ seat in Congress, things would be a lot more interesting if they came up with brackets for all those candidates (like Thomas Massie, Judge Once Moore, Brian D. Oerther, Alecia Webb-Edgington, Tom Wurtz, Marcus Carey, and Walter C. Schumm) running for the job.

Right now we’re working on rankings, and we’ll see which candidate gets the first round bye.

And Ken CamBoo says his snitches are all officially on double secret probation after their utter failure to report on Will “The Thrill” Terwort’s alleged slugfest with his father over the weekend! Even with this unacceptable tardiness, The Blower still has the story long before those six people who still subscribe to The Fishwrap will read about it!

Rumor has it Wee Willie even showed up to Ft. Mitchell City Council’s meeting with a split lip and hints of a black eye! Apparently the Thriller got the worst of it after tangling with his elderly old man. We wonder how well Will explains his battle wounds while going door-to-door in his doomed campaign for Jack Deadwood’s Senate seat!?! Normally Bluegrass voters like their legislators to take a stand against elder abuse, not inflict it!

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our March fund-raising drive by the Ohio RINO Party, for all that inside information over a new Party Boss The Blower has guaranteed to provide.

MARCH MADNESS HOT LINE

e-mail your boldest brackets today.

Some basketball hype items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally basketball hyping subscribers.

Link of the Day

NCAA Expands March Madness Will Now Include 4,096 Teams

(Online universities and bible colleges will be among the thousands of teams vying to prove they are the best in the nation.)

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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